[LEE]

One of my friends on Darius Devotees has just posted these up, I think they are so funny - especially the first one

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it
was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though
it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl
stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it
was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah,"
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's art work. As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing
God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy Father and
thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and
sisters?"
One little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

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An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had
kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It wasn't
easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at
her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every
time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said,Mom,
how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

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A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning
home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens
and two girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked
underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
.................................................. ........

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor. " A small
voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher.
She's dead."

[Sticks]

The first one is a variant from a joke they used to tell in the old USSR.

Russian Police raid the home of a Rabbi, thinking he along with others are plotting counter revolutionary activities.
When he asked what they were doing, the rabbi said they were learning Hebrew.
"Why" asked the soviet official, "There is no way you will ever be allowed to leave for Israel"
"It is so we will be able to talk in Heaven" answered the rabbi
"Ah" said the Official "What if you end up in Hell"
The rabbi looked at him and answered "Russian, we know"

BTW The bible actually says "Big Fish" in the book of Jonah

[Janette]

Love them all LEE, very funny!

[Kazisme]

This looks vaguely familiar Lee

[LEE]

Well I did ask you Kaz