[Princess Pink Pants]

I hope these arent too rude!

There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat

There was a young girl from Cape Cod,
Who thought babies came only from God.
T'wasn't the Almighty
Who lifted her nightie.
T'was Roger the Lodger by god!

There once was a man from Madrass
Who's balls were constructed of brass
When jangled together
They played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass!

There once was a pirate (the story relates)
who liked to go dancing on roller skates.
He fell on his cutlass
which rendered him nutless
and virtually useless on dates.

There once was a technician named Lil.
That took a chance on a Nuclear Pill.
They found her vagina,
in South Carolina,
and her boobs in a tree in Brazil!

My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
But, in charming my cobra,
The bosom with no bra
Can almost reduce it to tears.

An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
Said Sex is one thing I do know
Women are fine
And sheep are divine
But llamas are numero uno!

There once was a monk from Kerplunks
Whose body was that of a hunk's
The nuns all went woozy
when he stepped into the jacuzzi
For the monk had forgotten his trunks

There was a young lady from Bude
Who had scenes of old England tattooed
Her Boyfriend, one day
went the whole Penine Way
With Cheddar Gorge still to be viewed

There once was a girl from Norway
Who hung from her toes in the doorway.
She said to her beau,
Hey, look at me Joe,
I think I've found one more way!

(This was on a tape that had messages for answering machines)

There once was a man from Nantucket,
who was old, but not yet kicked the bucket,
don't be a creep,
at the sound of the beep,
leave a message or you can just f-- orget about anyone calling you back!