[Alpertinator]

I proceeded to google crabs and spent ages looking at pictures of different types of crabs, and then giant squid and then giant sharks and basking sharks and hammerhead sharks and then Krakens and then Fleetwood Mac... I was just starin' at these pictures for like a half hour.

There's these crabs called Coconut crabs and they're seemingly up to the size of labradors. They're found in places like Guam and they can crush a coconut very easily, also a human skull but they're not dangerous cos' they're slow. They look like some sort of freaky alien. Intense man. Fuc- k yes I love nature.