[Roy Mars III]

Most of the women in L.A. are really arrogant that is true

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by 08marsh

Am I the only one laughing when I read the "When I worked in LA" line? Lol.

But, yes let's not go there. We don't want lostalex going off on one again.

why am i treated as some kind of special time bomb that's just about to go off? srsly, have i really been that explosive in the past? i don't think so.

[lostalex]

I find this racist against Californians. someone get the ACLU on the phone plzzz lol

[arista]

Originally Posted by Roy Mars III

Most of the women in L.A. are really arrogant that is true

Yes Sad Fact.

[Mystic Mock]

Britain always has Muse.

[arista]

Originally Posted by lostalex

I find this racist against Californians. someone get the ACLU on the phone plzzz lol

thats OK Honey

When I was out there they called me the Limy
I got used to those Bitches

[Lee.]

No, I don't think there is anything wrong with women having motherhood as their main ambition. Both my kids are at school now, so I have gone back to work part time but I'm so glad that I managed to spend their early years with them as a full time mum... its not always easy, and there's been many tears and tantrums (from me) but its also been the best years of my life.

Work used to be a career for me, but now its just a way of making extra money and meeting people; I couldn't care less about promotion or furthering my education, my kids are now my priority.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by jedward fever

Britain always has Muse.

didn't the guy from Muse marry Kate Hudson?? he lives in LA now right? so Muse is now American.... :P

[lily.]

I gave up my career/work when I had my first child, and have been a stay-at-home mum since. Once my youngest is self-sufficient, I'm going back to work.

Some people treat me like I'm an idiot, unqualified, too lazy to get a job, etc. But, this was a choice for me and my family. My husband and I both worked full-time and we decided together that he'd continue to work, while I raised the kids.

I don't judge or criticise anyone for raising their children differently. If people want to work and use childminders, that's their choice. For a long time, women didn't have the luxury of choices. Women were all housewives and mothers. So now if a woman chooses that life for herself, some people view it as a step backwards.

But the fact that we get to make the choice is the difference.

And, to be honest, I don't think it's constructive for women to criticise each other for having different choices. There's enough criticism from society toward mothers, whether stay-at-home or working. Mothers should stick together, and support each other, because there is no right or wrong way to raise a child, as long as you're doing your best.

[Tom4784]

There's no right or wrong answer, It's up to the mother to decide what's best for her children and if that means going back to work or being a stay at home mom then that's her choice.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

why am i treated as some kind of special time bomb that's just about to go off? srsly, have i really been that explosive in the past? i don't think so.

Let's just say I've not got enough fingers to count the number of times you have entered a Britain vs USA debate with some forum members, often started from a completely separate subject. Not saying you are to blame but it's very often. lol

[Pyramid*]

Originally Posted by lostalex

because there is not talent or skill or work required to make babies. Any idiot with a vagina can do it.

Aspiring to CARE for children however is a noble pursuit, someone who spends time actually educating themselves about child care, getting a degree in it, that is admirable.

However having children, well any bitch in heat can do that.

Factually incorrect statement there lostalex. Many woman cannot 'make' babies, many women are unable to conceive.

Re the OP and thread - if it's possible, I think until the child goes to school, that it's good for a parent not to be working (full time anyway) - but it's a balance between being able to provide and give the best & sometimes both salaries are still needed for that. What suits some, doesn't suit others. As long as the wee one still gets love,care, and attention, there shouldn't be an issue.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

Factually incorrect statement there lostalex. Many woman cannot 'make' babies, many women are unable to conceive.

yes i know, i was adopted by one of those women who doesn't have a functioning uterus.

That's exactly WHY i'm pointing out how NOT special it is to be able to conceive, and how we should be placing praise on women and parents that actually prepare for caring for children.

Adoptive parents have to jump through hoops to receive a child.

[Pyramid*]

Originally Posted by lostalex

yes i know, i was adopted by one of those women who doesn't have a functioning uterus.

That's exactly WHY i'm pointing out how NOT special it is to be able to conceive, and how we should be placing praise on women and parents that actually prepare for caring for children.

Adoptive parents have to jump through hoops to receive a child.

Just pointing out the inaccuracy within your statement. Not only can not every woman conceive, a great many are not able to carry the baby to full term. I think you will find that any parent who has conceived and given birth, a very high number of parents do regard it as special.

It's a matter of personal choice whether mother is stay at home mum or can juggle worklife/career - bearing in mind, the child will ultimately benefit in different ways from either of the choice that the mother makes. I'm sure that it won't make the mother love the child any less and vice versa.

[Bollo]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman's priority in life being motherhood and it is an important job. That said there are women out there who are just not maternal (myself included) and do not wish to have children, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this either

[Pyramid*]

Originally Posted by Bollo

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman's priority in life being motherhood and it is an important job. That said there are women out there who are just not maternal (myself included) and do not wish to have children, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this either

This as well, me being one of them. It's upto the mum (and dad) to determine what they feel is the best way for them. It's their life, their family, their choice.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by lostalex

didn't the guy from Muse marry Kate Hudson?? he lives in LA now right? so Muse is now American.... :P

The members in Muse are British so they stay as British.

[Beastie]

Originally Posted by Liberty4eva

So last night I had a conversation with my sister where she said she has a friend at work whose only aspiration is to be a mother and raise kids. My sister acted like there was something wrong with that being your primary goal in life: to raise a family. She plans on becoming a nurse as apparently it's far more fashionable for women to aspire to doctors, lawyers, and scientists than to aspire to be what biology and nature intended them to be all along: a mother.

Considering how the birthrate is dangerously low in the western world and especially Europe, I'm surprised that being a mother isn't looked upon with the respect it deserves. Having and raising is kids is not only a job, it is THE most important job anyone could possibly have. It's the most important thing you'll ever do in your life. I have immense respect for women who can without shame say plainly that all they want to do is raise a family and am surprised that more people don't feel the same way. Thoughts?

I think it's a lovely aspiration that all a woman wants to do is one day raise a family! As long as they are not on the dole and in the minority of having god knows how many kids then that's fine. There is nothing wrong being a staying at home mum/housewife looking after the children. If this is what a woman or even a man wants to do then that is fine. If done properly it is a massive job looking after children and cleaning your house.

However I am arguing that it possibly isn't the most important job anyone could do? This is kind of insulting people who never want kids. I think people like doctors and in the army have a tougher time and more stress to deal with. But this is a matter of choice. It's up to YOU what YOU do with your life. Do what makes you happy and **** everyone else!

But of course if you want to work as a doctor or in that field of work or be a parent, it's more than just a "job". You have to have people skills. Be sympathetic to that particular person.

Anyway I think I would like a child/children in the future. A few years ago I was all like.. yeah I want to meet the love of my life, get married and have children. But as I have got older I have realised I am too young to have that straight away. I want to live independently first and well see what happens.

I don't really have many aspirations in terms of jobs. I am currently in a job I enjoy. That is my aspiration in life. My aspiration is just to be happy. As long as I am earning at least some money then I am happy. I don't inspire to be like a manager at the place I work for at the moment because I feel it would be too stressful for me and I am happy with the position I am in!

I would like to travel a bit in the future too. See more places. I suppose this is my main goal in life.

[Beastie]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I may be wrong, but I think a few people who look down on people who only want to be parents...do so because of the very high amount of teens who pop out sprogs just so the state will keep them all their lives, give them a house etc etc.

Its wrong to lump everyone into the same category, as Im sure those kinds of people are few and far between (only we hear about it more) but sadly thats what happens :S

There seems to be a kind of stigma that comes with having kids these days, and its not right :/

I agree. A young mum back in the 50, 60's, 70's and 80's etc.. wasn't even judged that they had a child young unless they were not married. Now if a young person has a child people are like "woah you are a bit young arn't you". I do think being a mum/dad should have more credit. Plenty of people young and old who are parents work damn hard to bring their sprogs up and try and make them the best they can be. Of course some have this mind set but are still sponging off the government.

It's nice that in particular women who just want a family in life want one. But I think obviously after they have left school they should find any job to well get any money because it's just the wrong message sponging off the government.

Or if a woman wants the lifestyle of getting a husband, having children and the husband being the breadwinner and the woman being a housewife with the children there is no shame in that at all!!

[Beastie]

Originally Posted by Ammi

Personally, I would never be reliant on the father, with such a high divorce rate I would rather know I can be self supportive

Ahh yes. Okay. This is another thing. Back in the day there was less of a divorce rate. Most women found their husband, got married and had some children and lived old together.a divorce and the dad was the breadwinner and the mum stayed at home. Even if the mum had hardly no savings she would still get half of what the dad has earnt. In which.. I agree to. At the end of the day the mum and dad agreed to get married, agreed for the dad to be the breadwinner and the mum to stay at home so then they should have 50/50 of everything together!

Nowadays, no offence but people are more fickle. So if there is a divorce well.. even if there is

This is why nowadays we are getting older parents. People feel like they can't rely on people as much as they used to. So now we either get older parents or very young mums who are sponging off the goverment. There are less mothers in the middle ground really.

Also times have changed now. Everyone really needs a job to get by. So for someone inspiring to be a mother, they should get a job first when they leave school to at least earn a bit of money.

[Mystic Mock]

I agree Beastie,I am very lucky with the parents ive got.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Beastie

Ahh yes. Okay. This is another thing. Back in the day there was less of a divorce rate. Most women found their husband, got married and had some children and lived old together.a divorce and the dad was the breadwinner and the mum stayed at home. Even if the mum had hardly no savings she would still get half of what the dad has earnt. In which.. I agree to. At the end of the day the mum and dad agreed to get married, agreed for the dad to be the breadwinner and the mum to stay at home so then they should have 50/50 of everything together!

Nowadays, no offence but people are more fickle. So if there is a divorce well.. even if there is

This is why nowadays we are getting older parents. People feel like they can't rely on people as much as they used to. So now we either get older parents or very young mums who are sponging off the goverment. There are less mothers in the middle ground really.

Also times have changed now. Everyone really needs a job to get by. So for someone inspiring to be a mother, they should get a job first when they leave school to at least earn a bit of money.

I have nothing against women who are full time mothers but fathers are not always there forever, for whatever reason, so I would not be totally reliant on that for my income. I've known too many friends who's only income has been their husbands and then the marriage has broken and they've had to work but have lost their confidence. That's just my personal experience. Also people sometimes want to give their children so much and this can not always be done on one income

[Liberty4eva]

Originally Posted by Bollo

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman's priority in life being motherhood and it is an important job. That said there are women out there who are just not maternal (myself included) and do not wish to have children, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this either

Not if we want to survive as a species. They're the main reason the average birthrate is way below 2.0 for every couple. If a sizable chunk of women do not wish to have children, then something is wrong with the culture.

[Bollo]

Originally Posted by Liberty4eva

Not if we want to survive as a species. They're the main reason the average birthrate is way below 2.0 for every couple. If a sizable chunk of women do not wish to have children, then something is wrong with the culture.

With the general population the size it is currently, I don't think there is anything to worry about in this respect, there are still plenty of women who want to have children.

[Shasown]

Got to love this thread and the archaic attitudes of some posts.

All about women motherhood and babies, fact of life, stay at home dads are on the increase. Oh and it isnt always the man who buggers off and leaves the other parent holding the babies. It might not be as common but believe me it does happen.