[Romantic Old Bird]

Today Skip, I'm going to be..............

Knackered!

I'm a Mon-Fri worker, so Saturdays for me are a haven of inactivity and slumping semi-conscious on the sofa. With any luck.

I awoke this morning at 6.30 and eventually staggered downstairs after a shower at about 8.

However I am about to launch into the jaws of the beast. I am going shopping in Nottingham. Guaranteed to turn this mild-mannered ROB into a manic wild eyed chuntering wreck.

Think of me and pray. Should I survive the horrendous experience I may return with a Christmas outfit, and return home to rustle up a pizza from the freezer and then adopt the aforementioned slumping behaviuor for the remainder of the evening.

I will then cringe my way through Pop Idol before lapsing into unconciousness on the sofa, being shouted at by OH and told to 'For God's sake go to bed if you are going to sleep'.

I will then drag myself upstairs, wash my face and grimace at the damage of the day on my once porcelain complexion as I clean my teeth.

After a liberal application of No 7 night cream for mature skin to my ageing countenance I will lie down clutching my Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel, determined to get past page 3 before I slip into unconsciousness. I will fail. My next moment of awareness will be as OH nudges me vigourously in the ribs and tells me to turn over as I am snoring loudly.

Is that enough information for you?