September 2022. BBC Four has been decommissioned after allowing a racist five year old to last three weeks on television, and thus the show has been bought by Bravo. In a bizarre ratings grab, they've cast entirely criminal housemates, under the vague illusion this will be a "behind the minds of a killer" style show. A hideous casting error means both innocent and guilty Ian Watkins are invited to take part. H cannot quite grasp what's going on. It's CBB30, anyway.
Cast List
[Marsh is delighted that John Wayne Gacy Jr's entrance music is, indeed, Lady GaGa's "John Wayne]
Week One
[Oh ffs! I think that H's event is the most unpopular one I set, so any chance of a vaguely un-evil winner may have already died.] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Pablo & Annie Aileen: Dzhokhar & Casey Amanda: Ian & Rolf Annie: Pol Pot & Karen Casey: Ian & H (wow she hates that name, huh?) Charles: Rita & Abu Dzhokhar: Patty & Amanda Hannibal: Vee & John Wayne H From Steps: Pablo & Rolf Ian: Casey & Karen John Wayne: Karen & Hannibal Karen: Patty & John Wayne Lorena: Amanda & Charles Myra: Charles & Patty Pablo: H & Abu Patty: H & Pol Pot Pol Pot: H & Karen Rita: Charles & Patty Rolf: H & Ian (wow Rolf/Casey alliance?) Vee: H & Hannibal
Nominated: Patty Hearst, H from Steps and Karen Matthews - 3 that didn't actually kill anyone No Nominations!: Lorena, Aileen & Myra Evicted: Patty!
[I can't say I feel too strongly about this - she's probably the one y'all know the least about and it's likely she was held in this house against her will anyway.]
Week Two
[OK this got dark quick!] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Hannibal & H Aileen: Annie & Hannibal Amanda: Hannibal & Lorena Annie: Dzhokhar & Karen Casey: Rolf & H (ok that Casey/Rolf alliance was shortlived) Charles: Pol Pot & Abu Dzhokhar: H & Annie Hannibal: H & Casey H From Steps: Lorena & Rolf Ian: Pol Pot & Pablo John Wayne: Pablo & Hannibal Karen: Hannibal & John Wayne Lorena: Annie & H Myra: Casey & Hannibal Pablo: H & Myra Pol Pot: Hannibal & Karen Rita: Karen & H Rolf: H & Casey Vee: H & Hannibal
Nominated: H from Steps and Hannibal Lecter - ok but he's bloody fictional! Guys!!!!! No Nominations!: Amanda, Aileen, Ian, Rita, Charles & Vee Evicted: Hannibal Lecter!
[He managed to find the one event that was less popular than not being in the Baha Men.]
Week Three
[Considering she only chopped off her hubby's dick and he survived (and allegedly raped her), Lorena would be a semi-rootbale winner I guess? Continue to serve the weird drama, mama!] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Pablo & Rolf Aileen: Annie & Karen Amanda: Ian & Rolf Annie: Vee & Karen Casey: Ian & H (she DESPISES Ian Watkinses!) Charles: Annie & Abu Dzhokhar: Pol Pot & Annie H From Steps: Casey & Vee Ian: Amanda & Karen John Wayne: Karen & Annie Karen: Annie & John Wayne Lorena: Annie & Pol Pot Myra: Casey & Abu Pablo: H & John Wayne Pol Pot: John Wayne & Dzhokhar Rita: Dzhokhar & Vee Rolf: H & Casey Vee: H & Pol Pot
Nominated: H from Steps, Annie Wilkes & Karen Matthews - I didn't like H & Claire either but it was the best work we got after Steps ended ffs! No Nominations!: Amanda, Aileen, Myra, Rita and Charles Evicted: H from Steps!
[Gemma Whelan's portrayal of her has really upped Karen Matthew's popularity, it would seem.]
Week Four
[Not sure that's how the game is played but ok] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Pablo & Rolf Aileen: V & Karen Amanda: Ian & Rita Annie: Pablo & Karen Casey: Pablo & Annie Charles: Aileen & Annie Dzhokhar: Pol Pot & Amanda Ian: Amanda & Pablo John Wayne: Karen & Pablo Karen: Ian & John Wayne Lorena: Annie & Amanda Myra: Casey & Pablo Pablo: Ian & Abu Pol Pot: Pablo & Dzhokhar Rita: Dzhokhar & Vee Rolf: Vee & Casey Vee: Rita & Annie
Nominated: Pablo Escobar & Annie Wilkes No Nominations!: Lorena, Charles & Myra Evicted: Pablo Escobar!
[Well they needed him for season 6 of Narcos at the time, tbf.]
Week Five
[Both relatively high on the "probability of Brantsteele events coming true" scale!] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Aileen & Annie Aileen: Casey & Abu Amanda: Dzhokhar & Rolf Annie: Pol Pot & Karen Casey: Aileen & Annie Charles: Aileen & Pol Pot Dzhokhar: Pol Pot & Annie Ian: Vee & Karen John Wayne: Karen & Pol Pot Karen: Ian & John Wayne Lorena: Karen & Pol Pot Myra: Annie & Abu Pol Pot: Abu & Dzhokhar Rita: Dzhokhar & Vee Rolf: Vee & Dzhokhar Vee: Rolf & Annie
Nominated: Pol Pot & Annie Wilkes No Nominations!: Lorena, Charles, Rita, Amanda & Myra Evicted: Pol Pot!
[I guess killing roughly 2-3 million people will make you a handful of enemies]
Week Six
[Honestly, this cast is so problematic.] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Aileen & Annie Aileen: Annie & Charles Amanda: Dzhokhar & John Wayne Annie: Aileen & Karen Casey: Aileen & Rolf Charles: Aileen & Rolf Dzhokhar: Vee & Annie Ian: Amanda & Karen John Wayne: Karen & Casey Karen: Ian & John Wayne Lorena: Amanda & Annie Myra: Charles & Amanda Rita: Karen & Amanda Rolf: Charles & John Wayne Vee: Ian & Annie
Nominated: Aileen Wuornos, Amanda Knox, Karen Matthews & Annie Wilkes No Nominations!: Lorena, Myra, Rita & Abu Evicted: Aileen Wuornos!
[Charlize Theron was present at her eviction.]
Week Seven
[YAAAAAAAS "Rita"!] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Myra & Charles Amanda: Rolf & Ian Annie: Dzhokhar & Karen Casey: Amanda & Rolf Charles: Myra & Abu Dzhokhar: Annie & Ian Ian: Amanda & Vee John Wayne: Annie & Karen Karen: Ian & John Wayne Lorena: Karen & Annie Myra: Abu & Amanda Rita: Vee & Amanda Rolf: Charles & Vee Vee: Abu & Annie
Week Eight
[Some friendly banter between the two least problematic girlies (bar Rita)!] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Casey & Vee Amanda: Casey & Dzhokhar Casey: Vee & Amanda Charles: Rolf & Abu Dzhokhar: Casey & Abu Ian: Amanda & Vee John Wayne: Dzhokhar & Karen Karen: Casey & John Wayne Lorena: Charles & John Wayne Myra: Abu & Amanda Rita: Vee & Amanda Rolf: Charles & Dzhokhar Vee: Abu & Karen
Nominated: Amanda Knox, Vee from OITNB, Abu Hamza & Casey Anthony! No Nominations!: Lorena, Rita, Myra & Ian Evicted: Casey Anthony!
[finding it difficult to make lighthearted remarks about the evictions of child-murderers tbh!]
Week Nine
[The wobble-board version of City of Stars is a real treat, let me tell you] Nominations
Spoiler:
Abu: Myra & Vee Amanda: Ian & Dzhokhar Charles: Lorena & Abu Dzhokhar: Rolf & Abu Ian: Amanda & Karen John Wayne: Dzhokhar & Karen Karen: Ian & John Wayne Lorena: Charles & Amanda Myra: Abu & Amanda Rita: Vee & Amanda Rolf: Charles & John Wayne Vee: Abu & Ian
Nominated: Amanda Knox vs. Abu Hamza! No Nominations!: Just Rita Repulsa! QUEEN Evicted: Abu Hamza!
[Amanda is getting off scot-fre- nope that's a tasteless joke]
Week Ten
[I don't quite know what to say to that] Nominations
Spoiler:
Amanda: Ian & Rolf Charles: Lorena & Rolf Dzhokhar: John Wayne & Amanda Ian: Amanda & Charles John Wayne: Dzhokhar & Amanda Karen: Amanda & John Wayne Lorena: Charles & Amanda Myra: Vee & Amanda Rita: Vee & Charles Rolf: Charles & Dzhokhar Vee: John Wayne & Ian
Nominated: Amanda Knox vs. Charles Manson! No Nominations!: Rita, Myra & Karen Evicted: Charles Manson!
[Honestly, Amanda is picking off the men with deadly preci-nope still not a tasteful joke]
Week Eleven
[These two are BRINGING IT ] Nominations
Spoiler:
Amanda: Ian & Rolf Dzhokhar: John Wayne & Amanda Ian: Amanda & Vee John Wayne: Vee & Karen Karen: Ian & John Wayne Lorena: Karen & Amanda Myra: Vee & Amanda Rita: Vee & Rolf Rolf: Ian & Amanda Vee: John Wayne & Ian
Nominated: Amanda Knox vs. Ian Watkins vs. Vee from OITNB! No Nominations!: Myra, Lorena, Rita & Dzhokhar Evicted: Ian Watkins!
[He is later mortified to discover not a single bit of promo was given to lostprophets during his entire tenure.]
Week Twelve
[Not sure that's how you win a redemption edit, Mr. Gacy Jr.] Nominations
Spoiler:
Amanda: John Wayne & Rolf Dzhokhar: John Wayne & Amanda John Wayne: Amanda & Karen Karen: Amanda & John Wayne Lorena: John Wayne & Amanda Myra: John Wayne & Amanda Rita: Myra & Amanda Rolf: John Wayne & Dzhokhar Vee: John Wayne & Dzhokhar
Nominated: Amanda Knox vs. John Wayne Gacy Jr. No Nominations!: Vee, Lorena & Rita (wow come on top 3?) Evicted: Amanda Knox!
[Wtf does John Wayne Gacy have to do to get evicted around here?!]
Week Thirteen
[Not the showmance] Nominations
Spoiler:
Dzhokhar: John Wayne & Lorena John Wayne: Dzhokhar & Karen Karen: Vee & John Wayne Lorena: John Wayne & Dzhokhar Myra: John Wayne & Vee Rita: Dzhokhar & Rolf Rolf: John Wayne & Rita Vee: John Wayne & Dzhokhar
Nominated: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev vs. John Wayne Gacy Jr. No Nominations!: Just Myra Hindley Evicted: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev!
[It didn't help that Emma Willis couldn't pronounce his name properly.]
Week Fourteen
[I cannot believe Karen Matthews is getting the Helen Wood edit] Nominations
Spoiler:
John Wayne: Vee & Karen Karen: Lorena & John Wayne Lorena: John Wayne & Rolf Myra: John Wayne & Vee Rita: John Wayne & Vee Rolf: John Wayne & Karen Vee: John Wayne & Myra
Nominated: Yvonne 'Vee' Parker vs. John Wayne Gacy Jr. No Nominations!: Just Rita Repulsa! <3 Evicted: John Wayne Gacy Jr!
[As if it takes a series of criminals for there to be a final 6 with five women.]
Week Fifteen
[The worrying thing is I'm still unsure if I'm #TeamNatalie here] Nominations
Nominated: Yvonne 'Vee' Parker vs. Karen Matthews vs. Lorena Bobbitt No Nominations!: n/a Evicted: Karen Matthews!
[I guess that BOTS reception last week was shortlived.]
Week Sixteen
[Not a brilliant penultimate week] Nominations
Nominated: Rolf Harris vs. Myra Hindley - omfg not my top 3 all nominating the exact same way <3333333333 No Nominations!: Vee Parker Evicted: Myra Hindley!
[I guess there're still some fans of Rolf Harris out there.]
Week Seventeen
[Not an expected choice, I must admit] Nominations
Spoiler:
Lorena: Rolf & Vee Rita: Lorena & Rolf Rolf: Lorena & Vee Vee: Rolf & Rita
Nominated: Rolf Harris vs. Vee Parker vs. Lorena Bobbitt - ok at least Rita is a finalist <3 No Nominations!: n/a Evicted: Rolf Harris!
[Wow. Wow. An actually-ok final 3. Even in this series. Wow.]
Finale
omg come through RITA!!!!!
Oh well at least it was close
Series Popularity
[I. CANNOT. @ H from Steps being less popular on launch night than 2 paedophiles, all of the serial killers bar Eileen, a Cambodian dictator and the Boston Marathon bomber.]
[Pol Pot had a curious amount of popularity didn't he? Perhaps they thought he was Paul Potts.]
[This is the first time, I think, that the three finalists have been the three most popular HMs at the end of the series.]
[The least popular event was John Wayne Gacy Jr. ranting about Oscar Pistorious, as it cost him 23pts.]
[The most popular event was Rita Repulsa telling Ian Watkins to do one in Week 1, as it saw her launch popularity rise from 38 to 68 (aka 30pts)!
Statistics Most Nominations: John Wayne Gacy Jr. (41), Karen Matthews (40), Amanda Knox (39) Fewest Nominations: Patty Hearst (4), Rita Repulsa (7) Most Evictions Survived: Amanda Knox (6), Vee (5) Never Up for Eviction: Rita Repulsa! Highest Eviction Percentage: 92% for Myra Hindley vs. Rolf Harris. Annie Wilkes was not far behind on 91% against Amanda Knox. Lowest Eviction Percentage: 50.9% for Amanda Knox vs. John Wayne Gacy Jr. Aileen Wuornos getting 36% against 3 others is pretty close, too.
Makes the Highlights Six Times: Rita Repulsa and Lorena Bobbitt Makes the Highlights Five Times: Charles Manson Makes the Highlights Four Times: John Wayne Gacy Jr. Makes the Highlights Thrice: Amanda Knox, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Karen Matthews and Yvonne 'Vee' Parker Makes the Highlights Twice: Hannibal Lecter, H from Steps, Casey Anthony, Myra Hindley and Rolf Harris Makes the Highlights Once: Pol Pot, Aileen Wuornos, Annie Wilkes and Ian Watkins Doesn't Make the Highlights At All: Patty Hearst, Pablo Escobar and Abu Hamza
you're welcome xo
__________________
Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saph
You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons
IT 
at least it was close
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