[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

You are young it’s not going to marriage and babies is it Amy

Who knows, plenty longterm couples got together as teenagers/early 20s.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Who knows, plenty longterm couples got together as teenagers/early 20s.

I’d have a bet with you that they are not together in less than six months.

[michael21]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I’d have a bet with you that they are not together in less than six months.

I have some of that

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I’d have a bet with you that they are not together in less than six months.

Not particularly classy betting on someone's potential happiness and relationship. You don't know Amy any more than I do, seems kind of crass to me

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Not particularly classy betting on someone's potential happiness and relationship. You don't know Amy any more than I do, seems kind of crass to me

Well from Amy,s previous boyfriends she don’t pick one of a very few good ones.

I’m not being crass, bring your personal life to the forum and it’s open to anyone’s opinion positive or negative.

By the way I like Amy.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I’d have a bet with you that they are not together in less than six months.

About two people who you don't know?

Go ahead.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

About two people who you don't know?

Go ahead.

We are now in age were marriage has a short shelf life, young people are having more partners, so the odds are in my favour

Plus I’d like to ask how long has her longest relationship been.

[michael21]

There he's going to drop a egg on her

[thesheriff443]

Any ways amy thought you said you would rather have a rub.

[Maru]

Knowing nothing about you and your mom's relationship, I would ask yourself if she's a good judge of character on this particular issue. You only met him 2 weeks ago and were pretty hasty to bring him to the house, so maybe it is seen as jumping the gun (or been seen that way)... and if he was actually "cocky" with such a short relationship, maybe the relationship has gone to his head quite a bit for such a short period and she may see it as a red flag

Mothers are protective of their kids, but maybe consider with how short the relationship is, him being cocky may not have been OK for someone she (and you) barely know in this way. Some people really value their family's opinion, to the extent they will break up with folk... others, they don't have that kind of family anyway. So consider where her opinion matters for you.

I almost always think it is worth an argument to speak with someone I care about about issues between us. The exception is when the person is already well aware of the conflict they are causing or if there are emotional problems that cause them to act a certain way...

The other possibility. If you've had a string of bad relationships, then your mother may be overly protective and erring on the side of viligence. It's stressful to see someone we care about get hurt over and over again... and if he's cocky, and she's seen you've been majorly mistreated, then she may be drawing boundaries where she can in order thinking hopefully you'll get the message... after all, if you're old enough she can't tell you what to do, then this may be her way of not only warning off the bf but you for who you bring home... (again knowing nothing about your history) ...

If you really feel it will risk a major argument, then consider that there is more going on with her opinion than just the bf... if she is just this opinionated in general, then obviously the context would be very different... some people are just judgemental, but because of how blunt she was, maybe he did something that she felt went way over the line... and she is not good at putting that into words except for sounding overly critical. Sometimes that's not clear what is really felt when people are upset... you could wait until she's less upset.

If this is your mom, then I think give her the space "to be" who she is, and maybe respect her wishes... at least until until (and if) the relationship is far more serious... maybe also give it more time before bringing someone home, that way you have more experience with that person, you can use that to explain some of their behavior if your mom is a nit-picker... again, all depends on context and a ton of variables ... it could just be that they're oil & water... it happens.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Maru

Knowing nothing about you and your mom's relationship, I would ask yourself if she's a good judge of character on this particular issue. You only met him 2 weeks ago and were pretty hasty to bring him to the house, so maybe it is seen as jumping the gun (or been seen that way)... and if he was actually "cocky" with such a short relationship, maybe the relationship has gone to his head quite a bit for such a short period and she may see it as a red flag

Mothers are protective of their kids, but maybe consider with how short the relationship is, him being cocky may not have been OK for someone she (and you) barely know in this way. Some people really value their family's opinion, to the extent they will break up with folk... others, they don't have that kind of family anyway. So if her opinion doesn't really matter here (or she is wrong).

I almost always think it is worth an argument to speak with someone I care about about issues between us. The exception is when the person is already well aware of the conflict they are causing or if there are emotional problems that cause them to act a certain way...

The other possibility. If you've had a string of bad relationships, then your mother may be overly protective and erring on the side of viligence. It's stressful to see someone we care about get hurt over and over again... and if he's cocky, and she's seen you've been majorly mistreated, then she may be drawing boundaries where she can in order thinking hopefully you'll get the message... after all, if you're old enough she can't tell you what to do, then this may be her way of not only warning off the bf but you for who you bring home... (again knowing nothing about your history) ...

If you really feel it will risk a major argument, then consider that there is more going on with her opinion than just the bf... if she is just this opinionated in general, then obviously the context would be very different... some people are just judgemental, but because of how blunt she was, maybe he did something that she felt went way over the line... and she is not good at putting that into words except for sounding overly critical. Sometimes that's not clear what is really felt when people are upset... you could wait until she's less upset.

If this is your mom, then I think give her the space "to be" who she is, and maybe respect her wishes... at least until until (and if) the relationship is far more serious... maybe also give it more time before bringing someone home, that way you have more experience with that person, you can use that to explain some of their behavior if your mom is a nit-picker... again, all depends on context and a ton of variables ... it could just be that they're oil & water... it happens.

See post#8
Don't know if it effects your post but she's known him for ages ..


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[Maru]

Originally Posted by Zizu

See post#8
Don't know if it effects your post but she's known him for ages ..


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Not really, no. Most of my post focuses on Mom & Daughter.

[Amy Jade]

Originally Posted by Maru

Knowing nothing about you and your mom's relationship, I would ask yourself if she's a good judge of character on this particular issue. You only met him 2 weeks ago and were pretty hasty to bring him to the house, so maybe it is seen as jumping the gun (or been seen that way)... and if he was actually "cocky" with such a short relationship, maybe the relationship has gone to his head quite a bit for such a short period and she may see it as a red flag

Mothers are protective of their kids, but maybe consider with how short the relationship is, him being cocky may not have been OK for someone she (and you) barely know in this way. Some people really value their family's opinion, to the extent they will break up with folk... others, they don't have that kind of family anyway. So consider where her opinion matters for you.

I almost always think it is worth an argument to speak with someone I care about about issues between us. The exception is when the person is already well aware of the conflict they are causing or if there are emotional problems that cause them to act a certain way...

The other possibility. If you've had a string of bad relationships, then your mother may be overly protective and erring on the side of viligence. It's stressful to see someone we care about get hurt over and over again... and if he's cocky, and she's seen you've been majorly mistreated, then she may be drawing boundaries where she can in order thinking hopefully you'll get the message... after all, if you're old enough she can't tell you what to do, then this may be her way of not only warning off the bf but you for who you bring home... (again knowing nothing about your history) ...

If you really feel it will risk a major argument, then consider that there is more going on with her opinion than just the bf... if she is just this opinionated in general, then obviously the context would be very different... some people are just judgemental, but because of how blunt she was, maybe he did something that she felt went way over the line... and she is not good at putting that into words except for sounding overly critical. Sometimes that's not clear what is really felt when people are upset... you could wait until she's less upset.

If this is your mom, then I think give her the space "to be" who she is, and maybe respect her wishes... at least until until (and if) the relationship is far more serious... maybe also give it more time before bringing someone home, that way you have more experience with that person, you can use that to explain some of their behavior if your mom is a nit-picker... again, all depends on context and a ton of variables ... it could just be that they're oil & water... it happens.

I've know him a while and she met him at a party (a family friends birthday) before I even suggested he might come to the house and it was only to pick me up and I just said he might pop in she said no and made an excuse that she was in her pjs.

I get the protective part but it doesn't feel like that it feels petty with some of the comments she makes and I have only ever had one long term relationship and my mum still talks to him as far as I know and he cheated on me so she's not exactly the type to draw blood if anyone hurts me if that makes sense.

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

I've know him a while and she met him at a party (a family friends birthday) before I even suggested he might come to the house and it was only to pick me up and I just said he might pop in she said no and made an excuse that she was in her pjs.

I get the protective part but it doesn't feel like that it feels petty with some of the comments she makes and I have only ever had one long term relationship and my mum still talks to him as far as I know and he cheated on me so she's not exactly the type to draw blood if anyone hurts me if that makes sense.

Any chance your mom is maybe a bit codependent?

[Amy Jade]

Originally Posted by Maru

Any chance your mom is maybe a bit codependent?

No not at all she's glad when I go away from the weekend or am on call all day in work on her days off

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

No not at all she's glad when I go away from the weekend or am on call all day in work on her days off

Codependency doesn't necessarily infer clinginess. It can just mean we become too "enmeshed" when we are around certain people. For example, we internalize other people's experiences as our own. It doesn't have to be all the time. Just enough that in certain instances, that how someone may rub us the wrong way may affect us more the way they're attached to someone we care about than if it were just another Tim, Dick & Harry off the street... codependency isn't always unhealthy either (but can complicate changes in your environment)

Maybe more likely, it just sounds like she thinks he's a prick. Because "cocky" isn't always bad... if it helps to raise your self-esteem, that's a good thing. As long as you feel it's in healthy balance with your own personality and he's not domineering with you. Maybe your mother can see things you can't, so I wonder could that if you have a close relationship. After all, it's a bit different when he is just a friend... relationship material is a different story.

I had a male best friend who I was attached with nearly daily for about a decade and he came and went from my family's home. We would take bus trips downtown and do all kinds of traveling... but had we ever got into a relationship, I don't think my family would've approved. We were too brother-sister like... keeping in my mind, my husband was never threatened when we were dating with how much time we spent to gether. Probably because yes, we argued too much... like brother and sister...

[Epic.]

Maybe just ask her upfront what her opinion of him is amid mid conversation? That way it's casual, you get answers and she's not being put on the edge

[thesheriff443]

Also Amy is a young woman not a young girl marsh

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Also Amy is a young woman not a young girl marsh

A girl is a young woman.

Being picky about my choice of word doesn't change the point I made.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

A girl is a young woman.

Being picky about my choice of word doesn't change the point I made.

Of course it does, Amy is an adult not a school girl, she said in the sex thread abouthaving sex she would rather have a rub, so I’m happy with my joke to m21 you want to go all moral as you usually do.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Of course it does, Amy is an adult not a school girl, she said in the sex thread abouthaving sex she would rather have a rub, so I’m happy with my joke to m21 you want to go all moral as you usually do.

Wait ... .. there's a sex thread ?!?!


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[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Of course it does, Amy is an adult not a school girl

I never called her a school girl.

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

as you usually do.

I'd make a comment in kind but I really have no interest in what you "usually do".

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I never called her a school girl.



I'd make a comment in kind but I really have no interest in what you "usually do".

Well we all know you want to be at the centre of any thread, trying to hold the moral high ground.

It’s also clear you did not quote everything I said only one part that you think makes you right.

You called Amy a young girl, when in reality she is an adult, anyways continue with your life on the forum however I have a real life in the real world.

My own daughter who is twenty four and autistic is currently having mental health problems which have escalated to her screaming and shouting and hitting herself violently around the head. We have not slepted for more than three hours a night for weeks while we are waiting on the mental health service

I rang the crisis team tonight as she begged to be taken to a secure unit, only for someone to tell me he can come out but with no meds, so yea I got a bit on my plate so forgive me if I don’t continue with the rather pointless chat.

[michael21]

Amy gone to bed she got work tomorrow

[Zizu]

I still think it's down to him to win her mother over tbh


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