[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Nah I don't really know what you mean It's not like you go live with his family? Surely they just become inlaws like the wifes family are to the husband?

Same here, Niamh. I did not even know of this concept. To me, my wife took my surname following tradition, but she was not forced to, and we set up a home together.

Her parents became my 'in-laws' and my parents became hers.

(Ooops - just noticed that this is a resurrected old thread.)

[jaxie]

In a way this thread is kind of relevant to what is happening in my family. My son worked for a cruise line and travelled the world for 2 years. While he was doing that he met a lovely Asian girl. They are hoping to get married soon, visa allowing and she is coming to live with us I initially while they get on their feet. He has a good job but she won't be allowed to work here at first so it's cheaper for them to live here. So basically my son's wife is coming to live with his family.

She's a lovely girl and we are looking forward to it but are also very aware that she will be a long way from home. She's travelled a lot so she is used to be away from home but she is coming a long way to live with strangers, apart from my son who she knows very well.

[armand.kay]

Originally Posted by Redway

I’m sure you’re only young but I can’t believe you don’t know about the historical background of marriage. Rooted in misogyny.

Well I did anthropology and history so I do know a bit about the historical background of marriage. My post was just to ask you what exactly you mean/ how it could possibly be applied in todays world? The OP isn't very specific....

[Redway]

Originally Posted by armand.kay

Well I did anthropology and history so I do know a bit about the historical background of marriage. My post was just to ask you what exactly you mean/ how it could possibly be applied in todays world? The OP isn't very specific....

That’s what the thread’s all about though innit. Much as we’ve come a long way the throwbacks and hints are still there even in the West at times.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Ok I don't know any couples in real life that let their husbands make decisions for the family, it's an outed concept that I like to think we're well passed

I think there's always that phrase "man of the house" but it seems to be taken another way, but really it can mean anything .

It doesn't necessarily mean he's a control freak , the decisions could still be 50/50 .

What about when people joke about women "wearing the trousers" in the relationship? . But again it doesn't necessarily mean she's dominating her partner all the time.

Unless its a weird unhealthy relationship where both parties are bullying each other ,then that's an issue . otherwise these things like "wearing the trousers" & "head of the house" are just words .

[Redway]

Originally Posted by GoldHeart

I think there's always that phrase "man of the house" but it seems to be taken another way, but really it can mean anything .

It doesn't necessarily mean he's a control freak , the decisions could still be 50/50 .

What about when people joke about women "wearing the trousers" in the relationship? . But again it doesn't necessarily mean she's dominating her partner all the time.

Unless its a weird unhealthy relationship where both parties are bullying each other ,then that's an issue . otherwise these things like "wearing the trousers" & "head of the house" are just words .

They did used to be much more than words back in the day.

I agree the decisions are more 50/50 these days (rightly so).