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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 4,347
Favourites (more):
CBB 10: Julian Clary BB13: Luke A
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 4,347
Favourites (more):
CBB 10: Julian Clary BB13: Luke A
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kirklancaster
There are some really well thought out, well written, valid posts on here from both sides.
However, I always chat to strangers and when I was younger, used to always pay compliments to pretty girls. I've never had a problem, because I believe that it's not only what you say, but also the way in which you say it.
No intelligent, decent, self-assured woman is going to respond to a "You're worth one love" or a "Nice arse" type of remarks from boorish morons - unless it's with a well deserved 'Livia-style' "FK Off creep" retort, and the less confident type of woman has a right to be, and will be, intimidated by such offensive intrusions.
I do not think though, that on an overcast day, if a man smiles at an approaching pretty girl and says; "Morning beautiful - you've just brightened up my day" - or suchlike - that there is anything wrong with this. It is polite, cheery, inoffensive, and not even 'flirty', and in my opinion should be accepted as such by the recipient of the compliment - invited or not.
I truly believe that a man who is armed with a great sense of humour and can make a woman laugh - I mean really laugh - has a great advantage over other men who haven't such a quality when it comes to captivating women.
Obviously this is not applicable if the guy with the humour has the 'head of a crab and the body of a Social Worker' - to quote Woody Allen (who is a classic case in point - look at the beautiful women he's dated) but generally, I hold with my tenet.
I for one, would not have met some of the memorable loves of my life had I not took the first step and paid such 'uninvited' compliments to 'beautiful strangers'.
Just as with 'street peddlers', 'Big Issue' hawkers and 'Survey Takers' - all of whom make uninvited 'intrusions' into a passer by's 'personal space' - a female recipient of a good natured but 'uninvited' compliment from a smiling male, always has several options open to her, including totally ignoring, rudely retorting, or graciously acknowledging the compliment with a smile.
Insulting and offensive remarks to women by dimwitted sexist morons, or all degrees of persistent following or even 'stalking' by sexually inadequate social misfits, will always occur - whether ordinary males make innocuous compliments to passing women or not.
When I was a child, 'our street' had a character - an ageing ex WW2 seaman - who used to get pissed as a newt every payday and would roll up the cobbled street throwing sweets to all the 'urchin' kids from a huge bag of mixed sweets he'd buy from the corner shop on his way home from his dinnertime session at the local pub. He'd do this because he loved children and had lost his own young son during the war. Today this poor innocent, kind-hearted man would probably be stoned as a paedophile.
Why? Because society is fecked up (thank's for that word Arista). Because of our growing awareness now of the -admitted - existence of paedophilia, we tend to overreact and 'tar everyone with the same brush'.
It is a shame, but this same 'sad reality' is just as existent in the subject under discussion, but just because there are a minority of weirdos and sexist creeps out there, we should not censure normal males who just happen to indulge in the 'time-honoured' tradition of paying passing pretty girls compliments.
As for 'ugly girls', then I say that not only is 'beauty' subjective, but also, that I am as likely to say a cheery "Good Morning" or some other 'ice-breaking' comment to a passing 'non-beautiful' female stranger as I am to a passing beautiful one (or to a male for that matter) but - obviously - I am not going to say: "Morning beautiful" if she looks like Ann Widdicombe and her beard needs trimming, because then she will be offended, because she will think I am taking the piss.
Anyway, while I am not trivialising the very real issue of females being 'accosted' or cat-called by loutish cretins, I make an appeal not to confuse that issue with friendly guys making innocuous compliments or other good-natured remarks -- Sometimes; "good morning beautiful, you have just brightened my day" delivered with a smile, can mean just that, and sometimes, any 'sub-textual' meaning, or 'sinister' undertone, is surely in the mind of the recipient.
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Good Post Kirk..... but the mindset of the actions you describe ie "morning beautiful" or "you've brightened up my day" is one ingrained in a western,christian, liberal democracy and these comments are acceptable under that mindset.
But today in the UK we are far more multi-cultural and have large numbers of differing religions and cultures. These approaches/comments to say an Asian lady or a Muslim lady may not be welcomed in the same way they would be with an independent, Christian,Liberal woman.
So what was acceptable in earlier times may not be acceptable now, I mean look at the way men in the past used to treat women wrt groping and bottom pinching etc..
I think we have to measure our behaviour against the ruling mindset of the day and if in doubt just say nothing and go on about your business.
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12-11-2014, 11:31 AM
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