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Old 26-04-2019, 05:28 PM #1
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Default Emily reflects on turning 31

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stylelobster
How a year changes things. This week is an important anniversary for me. It marks almost one year to date after my 30th birthday (a day and a moment I'd rather forget) and the end of a journey I went on at a life changing retreat in Italy. It was this time last year when I was in pieces, emotionally. Wrung out, purposeless, heartbroken. In despair. I had finally pushed myself to accept I was not in a healthy or supportive relationship. As a result of this I'd lost my purpose and confidence in my work and my voice in life. Friends said I was dulled, wrung out and uninterested in everything that had once brought me joy. They were right. .
Being in Italy gave me a chance to face these demons head on. There's nothing like sitting on a mattress on the floor of a ltalian cottage with a small, ferocious healing lady thumping your chest over & over, extracting from you the confession that you DO deserve better. That you ARE worthy of everything you want. I came back to London a year ago today a different person to the one who went to Italy. I was not "better" but I'd taken a step out of the fire and was walking towards a better place. Sometimes after bad things happen to us it can feel strangely comforting to sit in the pain and negativity because at that moment, under all the numbness, its the only thing you're able to feel. It reminds you you are still a living breathing human. The real test of character is always meeting the devil & then having the strength to carry on.
The important thing I learnt was that time IS your friend and that pain does pass. & as cliche as it sounds it makes you stronger and smarter. And kinder. .
I honestly don't think I'd be in the loving and supportive relationship I am now, nor the straightforward, strong willed business woman I am without these experiences. It gave me understanding, self respect and kindness and restored my faith and trust in being able to open up and love someone with abandon. It also made me realise that in order to be a part of a healthy, stable and respectful relationship, you need to first love, respect and support yourself. YOU COME FIRST. And then once that happens all the good things will follow. #selflove

More: https://www.stylelobster.com/travel/...iyoga-retreat/
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Old 26-04-2019, 05:29 PM #2
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Which maya angelou piece is this?
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Old 26-04-2019, 05:30 PM #3
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''I'm in the top 4'' is still iconic 12 years later.
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Old 26-04-2019, 05:37 PM #4
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She looks about 38.
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Old 26-04-2019, 05:40 PM #5
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There's nothing like sitting on a mattress on the floor of a ltalian cottage with a small, ferocious healing lady thumping your chest over & over
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Old 26-04-2019, 05:44 PM #6
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Self-love
There really is a lot to be said for the way we treat ourselves. We proclaim self-love and confidence because we put nice photos on instagram and get likes, or do a double take in the mirror as we leave for a date because we see that we look cute. But what I discovered this week is that really isn’t an indication of the true level of love and respect we give ourselves. Women are loving creatures naturally, but we really don’t save enough for ourselves and sometimes this can result in all manner of unhealthy situations. (This is something id like to explore in another post more.)

But WOW there really are no words for how I was suddenly able to step over a line and accept a lot of truths I’d been denying. Things that up until that point had stopped me from letting myself be happy. I’m smiling as I write this because the further I get away from that day the more relief comes. Side note: I am currently looking for a Gestalt practitioner in London to start work with.

Tashi said something that stayed with me during a Yoga Nidra session (sleeping yoga) we did one day. Some of us end up in a trance of unworthiness. This was where I was and as a result I’d found myself in a situation where despite success in most areas of my life my self-worth was low.
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Old 26-04-2019, 05:46 PM #7
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its a yes from me
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Old 26-04-2019, 06:05 PM #8
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spiritualist Kay's lovely older sister?
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You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons

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