[Crimson Dynamo]

'Living in limbo has made me question whether my six-year relationship has a future'



I am 26 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for six years. We met at university – we were in the same halls,
so we’ve lived together from day one of our relationship. Things have been great, but in the past 18 months doubts
about our future keep entering my mind. We are very honest with each other and we talk about these issues and
usually work through them.

Recently, though, a colleague told me he has feelings for me and kissed me. My boyfriend found out and says he has
come to terms with it, although he feels he can’t trust me any more.

Part of my gut tells me to keep our relationship going, to work at it because it can be great, and the other part
is saying you wouldn’t have kissed him back if you were happy.

We have been in limbo with our lives for a couple of years, uncertain about jobs and where to live. It might be
this limbo that is clouding my feelings too – I just don’t know.

We have said we will always be there for one another, I will never meet anyone like him and he’s doing nothing
wrong – it’s just my mind is set on experiencing life alone for a bit for the first time since I was 17, in the hope
I’ll be able to make the relationship work once I feel I’ve had that “me time”. By that time though, however
long it will be, he might have moved on.

Is it worth me being selfish for the risk of losing what might’ve been the best thing I ever had?

Fanny, York