[Braden]

I get it, Lucas. I've had the ****test year.

I wanted nothing more than to be where I am in life atm, but it's been a miserable time for me. Luckily, I am getting better, but that has a lot to do with the changes I have made in my life. The term 'be careful what you wish for' comes to mind. If anything, this year has reminded me to be grateful for what I have, and don't try to force anything into place as life will never work like that.

As others have said, please seek professional help. What you're describing sounds like depression; you don't want to live but you don't want to die - that's exactly what it is, just feeling empty. I've been there and it sucks, but the weird thing about depresson is there can always be a glimmer of hope. It can be the smallest thing that makes you happy, as long as it doesn't harm yourself or others. Mine was watching Louis Theroux documentaries, funnily enough. I was so depressed I couldn't even watch the television. I had horrific brain fog, which I still suffer from, but it got better. Slowly but surely, I have started to feel human again. You can, too. It takes time, so don't give up.

Ammi (who I just want to say has been a star throughout my own struggle ) has sent content from a website called Bored Panda, and they posted this which brightened me up the other day:

https://www.boredpanda.com/positive-...ns-mauro-gatti

[Josy]

Sorry you feel this way Lucas and I do really hope you feel a bit better about everything soon.

I've mentioned this to you in the past years ago but I'm sure that you suffer from S.A.D so I'm thinking, that coupled with you already feeling low about the year you've had is amplifying everything and making you feel even worse atm it only feels like things arent going to get better for you but stay strong and they will

[Kate!]

Bless you Josy and Braden and everyone else who has posted in this thread.

[Niamh.]

Sorry you feel that way Lucas and I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share it here with us. You may not think you're important in this life but you are, dont give up try to speak to someone in real life too

[Black Dagger]

Originally Posted by Braden

I get it, Lucas. I've had the ****test year.

I wanted nothing more than to be where I am in life atm, but it's been a miserable time for me. Luckily, I am getting better, but that has a lot to do with the changes I have made in my life. The term 'be careful what you wish for' comes to mind. If anything, this year has reminded me to be grateful for what I have, and don't try to force anything into place as life will never work like that.

As others have said, please seek professional help. What you're describing sounds like depression; you don't want to live but you don't want to die - that's exactly what it is, just feeling empty. I've been there and it sucks, but the weird thing about depresson is there can always be a glimmer of hope. It can be the smallest thing that makes you happy, as long as it doesn't harm yourself or others. Mine was watching Louis Theroux documentaries, funnily enough. I was so depressed I couldn't even watch the television. I had horrific brain fog, which I still suffer from, but it got better. Slowly but surely, I have started to feel human again. You can, too. It takes time, so don't give up.

Ammi (who I just want to say has been a star throughout my own struggle ) has sent content from a website called Bored Panda, and they posted this which brightened me up the other day:

https://www.boredpanda.com/positive-...ns-mauro-gatti

I will reply to everybody else in due course. But that website is fantastic. So thank you Ammi and to you for sharing x

[JerseyWins]

Everyone is worth something in this world. Listen to the advice in this thread. People have down moments, down years, down decades but there's always the chance to get (or find out) what they're looking for by not giving up and keep on pushing for it. Even though you may not feel a purpose right now you will be fine Lucas (and Morgan)

[Jigs]

I'm so sorry you feel like this but please know you are not alone. Those thoughts run through my mind too, even as recently as this morning. Life is an ongoing battle when we are experiencing the discrepancy between where we are currently and where we want to be. In some ways, I suppose it's a really productive trait to have considering that the desire for "more" only comes as a result of having great qualities like ambition, empathy and tenacity. 5 years ago if you'd have sent me to the future for me to witness all that I would have accomplished/where I'd be, I would have been overjoyed. But the reality of situations is far different and I have come to understand that this is part and parcel of what life is, and not to get too carried away with negative thoughts because they will honestly consume you from the inside out.

We owe it to ourselves to count our blessings and inject positivity into our lives wherever possible. Use this sense of tunnelvision that you experience when you focus on what's wrong, and channel it so that you are honing in on what's important and how you can use these thoughts to harness a more uplifting, positive energy.

Whatever you do, please know there are many, MANY people like you who are feeling similar to how you are feeling right now. And it's very brave to come out and say what you have said. After all, sharing with others is honestly the best therapy.

<3

[Braden]

Originally Posted by Black Dagger

I will reply to everybody else in due course. But that website is fantastic. So thank you Ammi and to you for sharing x

You're welcome, Lucas.

Also, another thing I wanted to add but forgot: we, as human beings, tend to over complicate life unnecessarily. If you're like me, things can get a bit hazy due to poor mental health. It's like my mind is on a permanent setting of over-thinking and catastrophising. However, writing my thoughts down helps me with that. I tend to articulate my thoughts better when I write them, and when I read them back I get a nice surprise by how rational they sound. My stream of conciousness is so attached to this feeling of anxiety and depression, which makes things worse. Though, it's not a cure - it's nice to just let it all out on paper.

What works for me might not work for you, however. It's just learning what coping mechanisms are best suited, until you get better.

[Amy Jade]

I'm so sorry you feel this way, I agree with some others suggesting you go see a GP as therapy may be the answer.

[Daniel.]

Sorry to hear about this Lucas. I genuinely hope you get through.

[James]

I'm bad at giving advise on topics like these, but I agree with others to go see your doctor, as there is a lot of help you can get.

There's also the option of private therapy and counsellors which has always struck me as not bad thing to spend some money on.

[Toy Soldier]

Getting counselling/therapy through your GP is very difficult these days, the waiting lists are huge, you'll be offered meds and/or CBT (both of which can of course be very helpful in the right circumstances). However if you KNOW that there is something specific that you need help to work through (either current or past trauma) then I agree with James; it may very well be worth spending a little on private counselling... even if you can only afford one session a month, it's better than nothing.

[Twosugars]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Getting counselling/therapy through your GP is very difficult these days, the waiting lists are huge, you'll be offered meds and/or CBT (both of which can of course be very helpful in the right circumstances). However if you KNOW that there is something specific that you need help to work through (either current or past trauma) then I agree with James; it may very well be worth spending a little on private counselling... even if you can only afford one session a month, it's better than nothing.

I can confirm that.
And even if you are lucky enough to get it it is only for a short time and then good bye regardless if you're better or not.
The only thing you can reliably get on nhs are antidepressants bc it's cheap.

[James]

You would likely have to wait to see a specialist but I do think there is a number of things they can offer, up to a certain point.

I think it's about knowing the right things to do after that to help yourself.

[caprimint]

Awww Lucas I'm sorry to hear that things are still **** for you.

I guess my only advice would be to try to do something different. Maybe find a different job if it's something that doesn't excite you or you're not really into... maybe spend more time with the people who make you happy? Go out and see new things/places, do activities that you enjoy, go to a nice restaurant/bar and try nice food/drinks?

I hope things get better soon, you're a great person

[LaLaLand]

I have periods like this, I've suffered with severe bouts of anxiety/panic disorder and depression for the last decade and for the past 6+ months it's been worse than ever not going to lie. Just had an awful start to the year and it really affected me to the point where I was pretty much bed-bound around the middle of the year. Thankfully all came okay but the "trauma" still leaves a physical mark on people.

All I can say is (besides seeing a GP and asking for a referral for some sort of counsellor which I have and find really helpful) - nobody, even me who experiences it, can tell you how to get out of the weird funk you're in. It's different for everyone and you just have to find your own way of coping/getting through.

The best thing I find to do, is just keep busy - even little things like go for a walk around the block or something, interact with people, text/call someone and keep your brain "interested" in something. Get a hobby maybe (I recently did a portrait painting in oils for the first time and loved it, just an hour or two here and there). Even if it's the last thing you feel like you want to do, even if you have no energy, just do it. Get outside, fresh air etc. For me, that helps. Just kind of neutralises your mood, resets your thoughts and more importantly DISTRACTS you, that's the key. The worst thing you can do is just sit doing nothing and being totally inside your own head. It can be terrifying.

I hope your mood improves very soon and am always here to talk. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a total stranger. x