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Old 27-01-2020, 08:17 PM #1
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Default Madonna reveals huge sixteen inch BLADE concealed in her walking stick.

Just when you thought Madonna couldn’t possibly have any more tricks up her sleeve, she unsheathes another one.

Not only has it been discovered that the musician (currently going by the moniker Madame X, while on a global tour for her album of the same name) is somehow the ultimate soccer mom for her son David Banda, she’s also a secret art world influencer.

And now comes the revelation that she a carries a sword hidden in her walking stick.

After sharing the news that the London leg of her world tour has been canceled on doctor’s orders due to a performance injury, Madonna revealed to her friends in Lisbon that the walking stick she’s been carrying can be unscrewed to reveal a 16-inch saber. “We want the finest wine money can buy. Hey, watch out,” she says in an Instagram video of the big reveal. “If you don’t give me good wine, this is what’s going to happen.”

“Give me red wine or give me cash,” she says to the bartender, before placing the sword back inside its hiding place.

Though she may have revealed her sword in jest, Madonna could actually find herself in a bit of a legal bind for carrying a concealed weapon through the United Kingdom, where there is a four year prison penalty as well as an unlimited fine for carrying a knife.

However, Madonna revealed her secret in Lisbon, not London, so there’s probably not much U.K. authorities can do. She’ll just have to get another cane (and judging by red carpet photos, she has a few) when she heads back to England for her rescheduled tour dates.

Honestly, if this says anything about Madonna—besides just how metal must she actually be—it’s that Jack Sparrow has nothing on Madame X when she’s trying to get a sip of good red wine.



https://www.wmagazine.com/story/mado...dame-x-lisbon/


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Old 27-01-2020, 09:21 PM #2
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Not The Bride.
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:23 AM #3
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So she threatned a bartender with a sword. Yeah thats a prisonable offence surely?
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:46 AM #4
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Jesus Christ!
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:46 AM #5
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She must have taken a few tips from John Steed
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:46 AM #6
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Jesus Christ!
No, it's Madonna
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:50 AM #7
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...Madonna has a walking stick...?...ouch...
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:52 AM #8
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..I imagine the blade is to distract from the thing that she has a walking stick...
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:52 AM #9
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...ouch..
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Old 28-01-2020, 06:54 AM #10
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No, it's Madonna
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:03 AM #11
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Quote:
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..I imagine the blade is to distract from the thing that she has a walking stick...
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:07 AM #12
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Quote:
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..I imagine the blade is to distract from the thing that she has a walking stick...
If someone makes fun of her for having a walking stick, THE BLADE IS DRAWN and she stabs them in the knee and screeches "HA! Not laughing now are you?? Now we BOTH need walking sticks reeehehehe", as they bleed out on the floor.

Last edited by Toy Soldier; 28-01-2020 at 09:08 AM.
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:13 AM #13
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Rapier of Light?
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:31 AM #14
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Why, though? Why....?
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:33 AM #15
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Why, though? Why....?
Bitch, she's Madonna!
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:39 AM #16
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Bitch, she's Madonna!
Four years for carrying a knife. Although she'd probably rock the prison uniform.
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:40 AM #17
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Four years for carrying a knife. Although she'd probably rock the prison uniform.
Oh she'd have hidden razor blades in that.
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:54 AM #18
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Quote:
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Oh she'd have hidden razor blades in that.
My father has hated her ever since he found me wearing my Mum's slip and strings of beads, wriggling around singing Like a Virgin... at 4 years old.
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:55 AM #19
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My father has hated her ever since he found me wearing my Mum's slip and strings of beads, wriggling around singing Like a Virgin... at 4 years old.
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Old 28-01-2020, 09:56 AM #20
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4. Likely story.
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Old 28-01-2020, 10:05 AM #21
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I bet its not the first 16 inch blade she has had either
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Old 28-01-2020, 03:39 PM #22
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Does she not need bodyguards anymore then?. Or perhaps she's re enacting her own version of Kill Bill . How very random .
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