The Douche
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My favourite artist is Prince, who I've loved for as long as I can remember. This is partly because I initially misheard Raspberry Beret as Raspberry Bidet and briefly thought that he'd written the finest douching anthem of all time. Now, as a douche, I may be little and red, but I wouldn't say I'm much like a Corvette. Instead, if I were a car, I'd be a Mercedes Benz: I'm quick, I'm well-built, and I'm not too proud of my German heritage. Anyway, enough about douches and cars. Who am I, Jeremy Clarkson? Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question. Where were we? Ah yes, Prince. The main reason I consider Prince to be my favourite artist of all time is because his spectacular legacy lives on to this day. He continues to inspire many great artists - including one of my favourite pop stars currently in the industry, Janelle Monae, who I was lucky enough to see perform in Manchester last year. So if you vote me out tonight, I'll be sad. In fact, you might hear what it sounds like when douches cry.
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Mitchell: You are absolutely amazing, you have made a douche adorable for the first time since we gave that second chance to Ant, I’m trying to think who would enjoy the music of Janelle Monae, and who would dare travel to Manchester, let’s go for Black Dagger!
Amy: Classic song and a classy performance from our favourite little douche. Thank you for that stunning choice tonight you did yourself proud. I think you are MB!
Matthew: I saw a few BB8 references in there, I assume it’s out resident BB8 superfan, HAYDEN ❤️