[MB.]

With perennial rumours about a supposedly imminent (Celebrity) Big Brother return on Channel 4 flying around like gnats in the summer breeze, I thought I'd put together a semi-realistic cast for a prospective CBB reboot, and put them through the ever-entertaining BrantSteele machine to see what happens!

I've picked twelve celebrities from the worlds of TV, music, showbiz, comedy and social media who I imagine are all relevant enough to be booked on a Channel 4 reality show in 2020/desperate enough to agree to do a Channel 4 reality show in 2020. Who knows, perhaps it'd be a charity edition in the vein of Celebrity Bake Off, Celebrity Who Dares Wins, Celebrity The Island, Celebrity Gogglebox, Celebrity The Crystal Maze, Celebri... okay you can see where I'm going with this. Or perhaps these celebs are all really greedy and just they're doing it while their kitchens are being renovated a la Nadia Sawalha.

I terms of the actual simulator, I fiddled with the popularity and relationship settings to make the series as realistic as possible (which, considering it's a basic simulator without any twists or double evictions, is not very), and inserted some fun events that the celebs would presumably horrified to be associated with if they ever found out about this. I ran the simulator about a week ago, so believe it or not this isn't inspired by Morgan's Survivor simulation (and definitely isn't inspired by Nicky's Dancing with a Stars simulation, since that one doesn't exist), but I'm sure there's room on TiBB for more than one of these things!

oh yeah and Davina's the host, Rylan's in charge of the new and improved BBLB, Marcus has toned it down, I'm married to Dermot, etc etc, I'm not doing this thing in that much detail, don't worry