[MB.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

....awww, sad to see Kandy go, but I’m so glad that 6 stayed...I can’t believe you tributed Kansai Yamamoto who designed so many Ziggy and Aladdin iconic looks...I saw some at the V&A museum a few years ago, it was like being in the presence of Gods, emotional...and really quite exquisite and detailed......

If you aren't hired as the fashion consultant on the next series of Drag Race then it'll be their loss

[MB.]

and speaking of fashion! Next time:

Episode 5: The Draguation Ball
In this graduation-themed ball challenge, the queens of Drag University (famously a rough spot) must channel their inner Elle Woods and serve sickening scholarly looks in three different categories. Acclaimed R&B duo Chloe x Halle join in the fun as the newest guest judges on campus.

[MB.]

The ball episode is coming up shortly, and you can tell this entire thing is unrealistic, because in this universe the show can afford the rights to a Beyoncé song for the lip sync

[MB.]

After Kandy's Elimination
The queens return to the werk room. 6, who just survived the lip sync, wipes Kandy's lipstick message from the mirror, saying that she has mixed emotions but is glad to have been given a second chance by Ru. The queens agree with Neon's comment that it's a shame Kandy didn't get to show off more of her many talents, but hey, at least she has her 50,000-or-so Instagram followers to fall back on. The queens then hold a minute's silence in tribute to meme queen Kandy... or rather, they sit awkwardly in silence while staring off into space for a minute.

After their minute's silence is complete, the queens congratulate Jasmine and Tina on their joint win in the improv challenge. Jasmine admits in a confessional that while she’s of course grateful to have the judges appreciate her, she’s slightly annoyed about the double win, as she wanted this to be her chance to step out into the spotlight and win a challenge on her own. From now on, she says, she won't let any queen stand in her way, even if it is her best friend.

Mini Challenge
For the next day's mini challenge, Milan Fashion Week, the queens turn the werk room into a catwalk and put on an impromptu quick drag fashion show, all while being chased by season 4 contestant Milan. Jazell and Tina successfully manage to avoid being caught by Milan's fishing net and win the mini challenge. Their prize? A year's supply of not being trapped in Milan's fishing net. It's the very definition of money-can't-buy.

Main Challenge
For this week's maxi challenge, Ru tells the queens that they'll be throwing it back to their college days with a graduation-themed fashion ball. In it, they'll need to serve three different looks in the following categories:

1) Bookworm Realness
2) Sorority Sister from Another Mister
3) Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza
For this third category, the queens receive various materials, ranging from the conventional (graduation caps and gowns) to the not-so conventional (degree scrolls, bouquets of flowers, confetti) from which to create a sickening graduation outfit.

The Pit Crew, dressed in nothing but mortarboards and Andrew Christian underwear, bring in trolleys full of the above materials for the queens to rifle through. An unholy scuffle ensues, in which Denali and Kornbread wrestle for the same piece of black fabric and Olivia and Toto agree to cut a bouquet of flowers in half, King Solomon-style.

With materials bagged, the queens draw up initial designs for their Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza looks; Neon's two-in-one look that transitions from valedictorian to club kid is an outside of the box take on the theme, while Jazell aims for something more traditional, sleek and elegant, hoping to impress the judges with its simplicity. Moltyn takes a similar route, but her mini dress concept focuses mostly on the simplicity bit. The eleven queens then take to their sewing machines and get to work constructing their outfits. Olivia and Tina, each with sewing experience beneath their belt, get going with ease, while Kornbread takes one unsure look at her machine and instead races for the hot glue gun.

Jasmine, determined to one-up Tina this week, gets very ambitious with the materials she's hoping to use, but has to take a step back when she realises her planned design won't work in the allotted time. She glances over at Tina, who is has already sewed half of her outfit, and begins to panic. Gia, who won her first challenge but has received negative critiques from the judges the past two challenges, says she feels a mountain of pressure to deliver. Therefore, she's decided to take a risk, and plans to construct a dark, funereal look out of paper and painted flowers. She worries that the judges will think it veers too far from the graduation theme, but knows either way that if she doesn't impress them, it could be a case of third strike and you're out.

Mirror Chat
The queens take five minutes out of constructing their outfits to discuss their college experiences, and their experiences with education more generally. Neon mentions that the first drag show she ever saw was in 2012 while she was at college; Moltyn then one-ups her by saying that the first time she ever did drag was at a college rag show as a closeted student in 2004. In a confessional, Moltyn goes into more detail about the link between her education and her drag origins, and says that she has aimed to ensure young people in her local area get the chance to experience drag like she did all those years ago; she regularly performs at the University of Kansas's annual Brown Bag Drag event, a free, university-funded drag show that she says gives all kinds of students access to drag, many of them for the first time.

Elsewhere, Miss Toto discusses how she moved from her home state of Maryland to Miami, where she would begin her drag career, for college (she reveals to the other queens for the first time that she has a master's degree in marine science, prompting them all to sing an impromptu verse of Baby Shark), while Gia surprises the queens further by revealing that she was a volleyball champion in high school (which would have been a useful thing for me to have found out in time for the sports-themed challenge in episode three, huh). In drag, she says, she has been able to replicate that sense of team camaraderie with her drag girl group Bratpack, which has helped her to rise to the top of the Vancouver drag scene.

[MB.]

Runway
We waste no time in getting to the runway this week, as there are a whopping 33 looks to get through. Here are some moodboards for the three categories (and bear in mind that since the Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza looks are supposed to made from scratch, I don't really have anything to reference photographically, so instead I just made a collage of some Drag Race-themed mortarboards):

Bookworm Realness:

Spoiler:

Sorority Sister from Another Mister:

Spoiler:

Valedictorian Eleganza Extravanganza:

Spoiler:

Judging
After seeing the queens present their 33 runway looks, including their Valedictorian Eleganza Extravaganza looks, the judges declare 6, Denali, Olivia, Tina and Toto safe. The remaining six queens, Gia, Jasmine, Jazell, Kornbread, Moltyn, Neon are announced as the tops and bottoms of the week. As safe queen Tina leaves the stage, Jasmine tries to keep her composure.

Gia, Neon and Jazell are all praised for their construction skills and creativity. For Gia, the judges love her Moschino-inspired pink sorority look and think her risky funereal valedictorian look is a massive hit; Michelle likens it to something out of a Tim Burton movie. The judges are also big fans of Neon's conceptual bookworm look, which incorporates actual books into the look, including one as a headpiece. Her valedictorian look, meanwhile, goes down a storm with guest judges Chloe x Halle, as it transforms from a demure graduation outfit to a club-kid-at-the-graduation-afterparty look with very little effort. Jazell, whose black valedictorian gown is more on the traditional side, receives rave reviews for her attention to detail, such as a corsage made out of paper and jewellery decorated with confetti. While Jazell jokes that it's been a while since she was of graduation age, Carson thinks she looks one of the most beautiful of the night.

The three remaining queens - Jasmine, Kornbread and Moltyn - receive less glowing critiques for their garments. Jasmine is criticised for trying to do too many things at once with her look, with the end result looking cluttered and unfinished. Kornbread's feedback is centered around her obvious use of hot glue to apply random bits of fabric, resulting in her outfit lacking a clear silhouette. The judges acknowledge that Moltyn tried to go for a less-is-more approach, but Michelle thinks her outfit is too basic for a ball challenge and wonders if she has the taste level needed to advance to the next stage of the competition.

Neon and Jazell are announced as safe, meaning that Gia is declared the winner of the challenge and the £5,000 tip that goes along with it. In a confessional, Gia is ecstatic about winning her second challenge, and hopes that she can stay on this upward trajectory for the forseeable future. Jasmine is then declared safe, leaving Kornbread and Moltyn as the bottom two.

Safe: 6, Denali, Miss Toto, Olivia Lux & Tina Burner
Safe (High): Jazell Barbie Royale & Neon Calypso
Winner: Gia Metric
Safe (Low): Jasmine Rice LaBeija
Bottom Two: Kornbread Jeté & Moltyn Decadence

Moltyn says that while this is her second time lip syncing, she won't let that stop her from giving her all to the performance. Kornbread, on the other hand, says that she was never going to be the most fashionable of queens, but what she does know how to do well is give the judges a show they won't forget in a hurry.

[MB.]

Lip Sync for Your Life

Kornbread Jeté
vs.
Moltyn Decadence



to
Schoolin' Life
(Beyoncé)

Youtube video

It's a pretty evenly-matched lip sync, albeit with different approaches from each queen; while Moltyn treats the song as a dance number, Kornbread goes the more fun, comedic route, and incorporates the inevitable shedding of the excess material she hot glued to her outfit into her lip sync performance. Towards the end, Kornbread busts out some of her own dance moves, including a surprise slide into the splits that leaves Carson's mouth agape.

"Kornbread.... shantay you stay."

Kornbread, having torn off half of her outfit and left the runway looking like a florist in the middle of a war zone, graciously thanks Ru and the judges and gives Moltyn a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Ru says tells Moltyn that in leaving tonight, she has graduated the University of Drag Race with flying colours, and is ready to head into the world with her head held high. Moltyn tells Ru that she has been doing drag for the best part of two decades and that she didn't need to attend the University of Drag Race in the first place (just kidding). Instead, Moltyn gives an appropriately graceful pageant exit, and heads back to Kansas City safe in the knowledge that she did sort-of-okay in an improv challenge.

[MB.]

p.s. here's a recently-released video of our guest judges performing with Mayhem Miller, Naomi Smalls and Miss Vanjie for ya nerves:

[Ammi]

...Kornbread Jete leaving Carson stunned with her bend and snap...?....

[Ammi]

...I’m sad to see Moltyn Decadence go...but if it was destined to be Moltyn V Kornbread....Then bye, honey...Kornbread don’t need backups, she’s going to Harvard, baby....

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by MB.

p.s. here's a recently-released video of our guest judges performing with Mayhem Miller, Naomi Smalls and Miss Vanjie for ya nerves:

...Queen overload complete......

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...Kornbread Jete leaving Carson stunned with her bend and snap...?....

Originally Posted by Ammi

...I’m sad to see Moltyn Decadence go...but if it was destined to be Moltyn V Kornbread....Then bye, honey...Kornbread don’t need backups, she’s going to Harvard, baby....

Thanks for reading as ever, Ammi, and by reading I of course also mean "pitching the plot of a Legally Blonde remake starring a drag queen called Kornbread instead of Reese Witherspoon" (it's bound to be a box office smash)

[MB.]

Next time:

Episode 6: Snatchily Feud
The queens show off their best celebrity impersonations in this Snatch Game variant, which this year takes the format of Family Feud (or Family Fortunes, for us cultured Brits). Comedian Niecy Nash and available Broadway actor Larry Owens snatch their spots on the judging panel.

[Shaun]

wow I can't believe Denali's graduation cap had ACAB studded in swarovski crystals

[Ammi]

...I love the Snatch Games.....and Family Feuds is a great theme...maybe one of our ladies will sparkle that Markle ...Meghan V the world...

[zrc]

Originally Posted by Shaun

Just looked at the rumours for Season 13 and omg

Spoiler:

Lady Red finally getting the call

That aged well.

[MB.]

After Moltyn's Elimination
The queens return to the werk room following Moltyn's departure, having taken a week and a half off after the studio was hit by a small, fracking-related earthquake. Lip sync survivor Kornbread prays for another acting challenge (or five), while challenge winner Gia is hopeful that the producers break convention by giving the queens nothing but fashion challenges until the end of the competition. As the halfway point approaches, the queens take stock of their track records - Gia leads the pack with two wins, while Jazell, Neon, Jasmine and Tina have one each. Tina smugly warns the queens who aren't on that list (6, Denali, Kornbread, Olivia and Toto) that if they don't step their games up pronto, they'll be following Moltyn right out the door. And, says Tina, she's fine with that, as it means one less competitor for the crown.

Mini Challenge
For the mini challenge, Yuhua What You Eat, season ten contestant Yuhua Hamasaki stops by to analyse each queen’s bowel patterns. The queen with the cleanest stool wins. By nature of being the skinniest queen, having not eaten solid food for two months, Gia is the winner of the mini challenge. She receives... I don't know, a lifetime supply of cat litter as her prize. Meow.

Main Challenge
Ru announces to the queens that they'll be taking on the iconic Snatch Game, but instead of doing things the usual way, they'll be playing the game Family Feud-style. Neon channels Valentina and asks if this means Steve Harvey will be making an appearance (he will not).

The usual open discussion of everyone's Snatch Game choices commences among the queens; Jazell shows off the gown she's planning to wear as legendary Dynasty actress Diahann Carroll, while Neon chats to Toto about her decision to do rapper of the moment Megan Thee Stallion. Kornbread asks 6 about who she'll be playing, but judging by the many wigs spread out across her work bench, 6 still has some deciding to do.

Later on, Ru pops in to grill the queens/spout some nonsense about riffing, volleying and inner saboteurs. He does not apologise for the earthquake he caused with his fracking. Anyway, as part of this segment we found out the remainder of the queens' picks; Kornbread has chosen to play Ms. Juicy from Little Women: Atlanta, Olivia is taking on the one and only Vanessa Williams, Denali is playing the famously lovely Lea Michele, Gia will do spiritual advisor to Oprah, one-time presidential candidate and all-around nutcase Marianne Williamson (as an extra reward for winning the mini challenge, Gia gets a one-on-one Snatch Game coaching session from the challenge's very first winner, season 2's Tatianna), and Toto is taking a mighty risk by transforming herself into, er, Lord Voldemort. It's safe to say her plans are met with a look of concern from Ru, who can't exactly picture volleying with a fictional half-blood Dark Lord.

Elsewhere, Tina weighs up her two potential choices (businesswoman Barbara Corcoran and Broadway star Elaine Stritch), while Jasmine does the same with her two all-singing characters, Leontyne Price and Shirley Bassey, telling Ru that she hopes whichever one she picks will finally give her the edge over friendly rival Tina. Speaking of Ru, when he visits 6's work bench, she still hasn't chosen her specific character, although she has narrowed her selection down to either Kate Bush or P!nk. She admits that her Snatch Game character is probably going to come down to a last minute decision, and whichever one it is, she hopes it doesn't land her in the bottom.

The Snatch Game then happens (who ever said I'm not excessively verbose?). The queens, in Family Feud/Fortunes style, are split up arbitrarily into two families:

The O'Hara-Davenport-Delexington-Dupree Family
Diahann Carroll, as played by Jazell
Lord Voldemort, as played by Toto
Marianne Williamson, as played by Gia
P!nk, as played by 6
Shirley Bassey, as played by Jasmine

The Paige-Brooks-Bryant-Matthews-Bo'nina-Brown Family
Barbara Corcoran, as played by Tina
Lea Michele, as played by Denali
Megan Thee Stallion, as played by Neon
Ms. Juicy, as played by Kornbread
Vanessa Williams, as played by Olivia

As you might expect, Neon throws in a few references to her WAP, Jasmine says "she doesn't have the range" a lot about the queens on the other team, Tina throws dollar bills around like confetti and Toto, er, slut drops on Marianne Williamson while dressed in full Lord Voldemort drag, prosthetics and all. After the game is complete, Ru does his best Steve Harvey impression by announcing that the winner is... Miss Colombia. There's nothing quite like a joke from five years ago to end a challenge on a high, is there?

[MB.]

Mirror Chat
Following the Snatch Game, the queens chat about the reasons behind their choices. Denali says she didn't want her portrayal of Lea Michele to be cruel, but rather in good humour, as she considers herself to be fairly nice as far as drag queens go. Kornbread, however, isn't convinced Denali achieved this vision in her performance (it was just a lot of shouting, she thinks). Toto says her choice of Lord Voldemort was inspired by her love of Harry Potter, and although she was initially conflicted due to JK Rowling’s storied history of transphobia, she decided she would reclaim the character instead (which she did in part by making her Voldemort a messy drunk party animal from Florida, naturally). This in turn prompts the discussion of trans and biological female competitors in Drag Race, which Tina has in the past said she thinks creates an unfair playing field. Jazell says she respects Tina's opinion but kindly reminds her that whether you're trans, cis, or a bio queen, nobody is born with the innate ability to be good at Snatch Game. Except maybe Bianca Del Rio.

Runway
This week's runway category is She Wore Blue Velvet, which I promise is nothing to do with the David Lynch movie. See below for a moodboard in case you forgot what blue velvet looks like:

Spoiler:

Judging
Based on their performances in the Snatch Game and their velvety runway presentations, Gia, Jasmine, Jazell and Neon are declared safe. This means that 6, Denali, Kornbread, Olivia, Tina and Toto are left nervously waiting as the highs and lows of the week.

6’s impersonation of P!nk is criticised by the judges for lacking humour, with Ru saying it reminded her of Morgan McMichaels' ill-fated Snatch Game all the way back in season two. 6 admits that she probably should have picked Kate Bush instead, but freaked out at the last minute and went for what she thought was the safest option. Denali’s Lea Michele, meanwhile, is criticised for being too over-the-top and relying on the same few jokes. Similarly, Olivia is criticised for not going far enough with her portrayal of Vanessa Williams (Michelle points out that she was basically just reciting things Wilhelmina Slater says on Ugly Betty, which is something anyone with access to Vanessa's IMDB page can do).

On the flip side of the Snatch Game coin, the judges tell Kornbread that she made for a larger-than-life Ms. Juicy, and think that Tina took someone who doesn't usually strike people immediately as funny (Shark Tank's Barbara Corcoran) and turned her into a fully-realised character with more layers than an onion. That said, their favourite Snatch Game character of the week turns out to be Miss Toto’s slutty spring breaker Lord Voldemort; Ru happily admits that Toto proved her wrong, and showed that she has natural wit and sense of creativity that not every queen in the competition possesses. Toto is declared as the winner of the challenge, with Kornbread and Tina being safe for their efforts. 6 is then declared safe, avoiding her second lip sync, leaving Denali and Olivia to lip sync for their lives for the first time each.

Safe: Gia Metric, Jasmine Rice LaBeija, Jazell Barbie Royale, Neon Calypso
Safe (High): Kornbread Jeté & Tina Burner
Winner: Miss Toto
Safe (Low): 6
Bottom Two: Denali & Olivia Lux

[MB.]

Lip Sync for Your Life

Denali
vs.
Olivia Lux



to
Get Outta My Way
(Kylie Minogue)

Youtube video

The lip sync is one that would hopefully do Kylie proud; Denali pulls out the dancing diva stunts and tricks that she's made her name on (sans the ice skates), but Olivia is able to connect that bit more with the song, and ultimately manages to get Denali out of her way via the timeless medium of the RuPaul's Drag Race lip sync.

"Olivia.... shantay you stay."

Denali... well, she goes off to film season 13, doesn't she. Olivia unfortunately has to wait for at least one more round to join her. Back in the werk room, Tina Burner twiddles her thumbs, knowing she's missing out on a gig.

[Ammi]

..Lord Voldemort as snatched by Toto definitely has shades of Joan Crawford...?...

[Ammi]

....oooooo, love the blue velvet runway...that’s tres gorgeous......

[Ammi]

...awwww Denali......I’m not sure that Lea Michelle was a wise choice for that queen...but if you’re going to sashay away, let your sashay be a blue velvet one...Denali, a goddess......

[Ammi]

...I loved the mirror chat ...you put great heart into these, MB......great heart, great style, great runways...great you.......