[Ammi]

...we’ve had it before, I know but dilemmas are always interesting to revisit etc...if you want to...


You and your family are going away for the weekend. Your daughter is 7 and is best friends with your niece, who is also 7. Your families are very close and your daughter asks if your niece can come with you on your holiday. You have been on holidays together before and don’t see any problem, so you agree.You arrive at your holiday destination and the house you are staying at backs onto a beach. The girls ask if they can go for a swim. You tell them that they have to wait until you have unpacked the car, but they can play on the sand directly in front of the beach. They run down to the sand, and you begin to unpack the car. After about 5 minutes, you hear screaming coming from the direction of the beach and it sounds like the girls.You run down to see what the matter is, and you discover that they hadn’t listened to you and have gone for a swim. There is no one else on the beach and the girls are caught in a rip.The girls are really struggling, particularly your niece who isn’t as strong a swimmer as your daughter.You swim out quickly, but when you get there, you realize that there is no way you will be able to get both the girls back into shore on your own. You realize that an agonizing decision will need to be made.You need to decide which of the girls you will rescue first, you have enough strength and energy to rescue them both, but you can only do it one at a time. You look at the two girls, and your niece is really struggling to hold her head above water and you know if you take your daughter back first, there will be little or no chance that she will survive.Your daughter is struggling also, but is much stronger in the water and you estimate that if you take your niece back to shore first, there’s probably a 50% chance that your daughter will be able to stay afloat long enough for you return, but you simply don’t know how long she will hold on for.


...so what decision...?....

[AnnieK]

Urghhh that is a horrific decision to makr.

However, I would have to save the niece first I think. She has far less chance of surviving and having to tell another parent that I had let their child drown on my watch would be the worst thing.

I would give my child instructions on how to stay afloat then swim like I've never swum before to take the niece back before rescuing my own child.

Then I would give the pair of them the biggest hug of their lives followed very quickly by the biggest bollocking they've ever had.

[Ammi]

...I would give them both the biggest hug as the last thing and the telling off first.....but yeah, hopefully I would get the chance to do that with both of them surviving...horrid dilemma isn’t it, Annie...

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...I would give them both the biggest hug as the last thing and the telling off first.....but yeah, hopefully I would get the chance to do that with both of them surviving...horrid dilemma isn’t it, Annie...

Awful....but I think that letting another person take care of your child is one of the biggest acts of trust that as a parent you undertake and so I would have to act accordingly I think.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Awful....but I think that letting another person take care of your child is one of the biggest acts of trust that as a parent you undertake and so I would have to act accordingly I think.

...it’s such a dilemma and the thing with these types of dilemma is that they’re ‘instant/instinct’ things, Annie...the considerations that they present for us to look at, aren’t there for ‘that person’, you know...their mind is in crisis of thought, whereas ours isn’t in only having to imagine how awful, not living those actual moment...

...the possible life of our own child over the life of our niece..?...the possible pain and grief of ourselves and immediate loved ones over that of our siblings..?...hideous to even imagine...

[AnnieK]

Now you've made me feel mean for letting my own kid drown

I do get it though.....until you're in that situation you have no idea what you will do. Too awful to imagine and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Now you've made me feel mean for letting my own kid drown

I do get it though.....until you're in that situation you have no idea what you will do. Too awful to imagine and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

...hawwwww no, Annie...what you said was very much my first instinct thoughts as well...it’s only when you have time to sit back and think, isn’t it...?...which wouldn’t apply, it really would be a purely instinct thing with a mind in crisis, I think...