[Romantic Old Bird]

Just for the sake of posting something....


Saturday 27th November

P: (Groans) You know what babe?

H: What's that, Paul love?

P: I am totally stuffed. That meal was absolutely blinding.

H: I know.

P: Mind you, my yorkshires are a cause celebre' if I say so myself.

H: Oh Paul, they weren't that burnt. I managed two, I did.

P: Burnt? No, they weren't burnt.
There is a difference Helen. They was dark golden.

H: Just like you like them Paul.

P: Yeah. Exactly.

H: So you you ready for your pudding then?

P: No way mate. I'm busted.

H: Well I'm not, and I do want some pudding. I got it special.

P: I know you did Helen, but there's probably loads of calories in it. You sure you should?

H: Paul Clarke, I really want my pudding. I've got to eat it. I've already eaten it in my head.

P: Well then you won't want it now!

H: Yes I will. You know I will. You are a spoil sport.

P: You'll thank me later

H: I will not

P: Don't sulk babe.

H: Well, it's just that you've spoilt it all now.

P: I've spoilt it?

H: Yeah

P: How have I spoilt it?

H: Never mind

P: No, tell me H. What's the matter babe?

H: I wanted us to have our pudding together.

P: (Sighs) Well, I couldn't now, but maybe in a couple of hours

H: After the football?

P: Yeah, alright, no worries.

H: Promise?

P: Course, straight after. Where you going now?

H: I'm gonna get ready Paul

P: Get ready to eat your pudding?

H: Yeah

P: You make me laugh you do.

H: I know I do Paul

P: You always will mate

H: I better get on, I got loads to do. You watch your football.

P: I won't ask...

H: I got loads to do, really. I got to wax, and pluck my eyebrows and

P: Exfoliate?

H: Oooh that's a good idea Paul, thanks!

P: No worries babe

Two hours later

Helen emerges in filmy pink negligee and a cloud of perfume and hairspray...........

H: Oh Paul..........

P: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ



H: Paul Clarke!

P: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

H: Paul BLOODY CLARKE!!!

P:ZZZZZZZZ - WHA????

H:You better not be asleep!

P: Wha? Me? ASle.....? NozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ

H: I'll have to wake you up then

P: Mmmmmmmmm zzzzzzzzzz

H: Cos I will

P: MMmmzzzzzzzzzzzz

H: You better be ready Paul

P: Mmmmm, ready, yeah........zzzzzzzzzzz

H: I got our pudding Paul

P: Awright H

H: Want yours there then?

P: Yeah (slowly pulls himself up on the sofa)

H: Here you are then..

P: Thanks babe.....................EUAAAARGGGHHHHH!!!

H: Told you!

P: What the bloody hell you done?

H: I gave you your pudding Paul

P: You put it down my boxers Helen. What is it? Bloody ice-cream? Did you have to?

H: It's gotta be ice cream Paul

P: Er - Why? It's November!

H: I know, because I remember stuff and you don't care! (Sniffs loudly)

P: I am pulling bits of ice-cream and chocolate from where the sun don't shine, put there by the very same woman I don't apparently care about, and did I meantion it's bloody November !!!!

H: You don't have to shout at me!! (Sniffs even more loudly)

P: I'M NOT BLOODY SHOUTING!!!

H: You are so shouting. You spoilt it all now

P: I'VE SPOILT ALL WHAT NOW?? Sorry, what have I spoilt

H: You spoilt my surprise.

P: H, let me tell you, I was certainly surprised. In fact, I can't ever remember being quite so surprised in my entire life. Parts of me are still surprised, I can assure you.

H: Not like that Paul. I'm sorry I sprised you like that. You alright love?

P: Course I am. How did you want to surprise me then?

H: I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary.

P: Anniversary, sorry babe, I'm not with you. What anniversary have we got today H?

H: I knew you'd forget

P: I ain't forgotten anything about you and me babe. Sometimes I just don't quite remember it in quite the same way though.

H: No. But I thought you'd remember this one.

P: Sorry babe. I know it's special to you, so it'll be special to me. Help me out though.

H: OK.

P:Come here and tell me about it.

H: What there?

P: Yeah, here, right next to me.

H: OK then, its........

P: No, don't tell me, let me think. Give me a big hug. It'll help me to remember.

H; I'll like that, I will.

P: Course you will babe. Come here then.

H: Oh Paul, you're lovely you are

P: I know

H: It doesn't matter if you've forgotten

P: Forgotten what?

H: You, know forgotten the anniversary

P: What, of this?

H:ARRREEEEEARGGGHHHHH!!!

P: I'm right aren't I??

H:Paul!! You spoilt my nightie.

P: Yep, just like when I spoilt your black top

H: Oh Paul you did remember

P: What, that it's three and a half years today since we met?
No, don't know what you're talking about.

H: Don't you?

P: Course I do.

H: I bought the choc ices though.

P: You did.

H: Pity they're all spoilt now. I'm hungry I am

P: Shall I maKe you something else?

H: Yes please Paul, something yummy

P: Give me two minutes then

H: OK

Two minutes later

P: OK Helen, ready when you are

H: Where are you?

P: I'M THROUGH HERE. iF YOU WANT IT, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO COME AND GET IT

H: You're not going in the garden are you, it's too cold!

P: Nope, come and find out for yourself

H: Where are you?

P: Here I am!

H: Paul Clarke!

P: Herro!

H: You got nothing on!

P: I gorra smile orn my face!

H: And a rose between your teeth!

P: Ju for yur babe!

H Take that stupid thing out of your mouth and move over.

P: Come on it girl, the water's warm, and bring that tub over!

H: But Haagen dags isn't the same as economy Choc ices Paul Clarke!

P: No, but we'll just have to manage. Now I got a memory for you........

H: Have you Paul?

P: Yeah, I have.

H: What is it then?

P: Remeber when you was in that bath in the house?

H: What with Elizabeth and Amma?

P: Yeah!

H: You couldn't get enough of seeing us three in there could you?

P: I only saw you Helen. You were the only one there as far as I was concerned

H: You said you was the luckiest man in England

P: I did, and I meant it.

H: That's nice Paul

P: I'm still the luckiest man in England.

H: Are you? What about the luckiest man in Wales?

P: Well I'm not in Wales am I!

H: Yeah, but if you was?

P: Then, (sighs) I'd be the luckiest man in Wales as well

H: No you wouldn't

P: I would!

H: If you was in Wales, then you wouldn't be here in England, so you couldnt be both..........

P: Helen!

H: Yes Paul?

P: Drink your champagne

H: Alright Paul

P: Helen

H: Yes Paul?

P: No matter where I was, no matter what country, I'd be the luckiest man there.

H: Would you?

P: I would, as long as you were there with me.

H: What in the bath?

P: Anywhere.

H: That's lovely that is.

P: And you're lovely

H: And you are

P: Thanks

H: We both are

P: True

H: But you're lovelier

P: D'you think?

H: Paul............

P: It don't get much better than this babe

H: No. Paul........

P: Lying here in a lovely spa bath, loads of bubbles, champagne, ice cream and

H: .........No spoons

P: Yeah, and no spoons..........

H: Paul...............

P: You're not going to make me get out and fetch them are you Helen?

H: Oh please Paul..........

P: Oh H, talk about spoiling the moment. I ain't even got a towel

H: It'll only take a moment Paul. You can borrow my negligee

P: Ok then, but you better make it worth my while....

H: Oh I will Paul, I will

P: OK H, ready or not, here I go.....

H: Be quick love

P: I'll be back before you know it.

H: Helen sticks her finger in the tub of Haagen Dags and licks the ice cream, humming happily to herself

Downstairs Paul positively sprints into the kitchen, leaps over Helen's boots, lands awkwardly, slips on a stray legwarmer, skids across the floor and traps his foot between the fridge and the dishwasher.



Six hours later, Helen helps Paul to hop back upstairs to their flat.

P: Well, some night. Having my leg cut free by the fire brigade, and spending three hours in casualty wearing a pink negligee.

H: And a smile Paul!

P: I wan't bloody smiling mate! You and your bloody ice-cream. The doctor thought I was bloody mad.

H: Why?

P: Why? Why? Because I was dressed in a negligee and I was on about eating ice-cream in Novemeber

H: I don't think they'll publish the photo Paul

P: Oh, yeah, I might have known I'd be rushed in just as the health minister called in to make a statement about waiting times in A&E.

H: I know. They only took a few pictures. No-one remembers us now. You cross with me Paul?

P: Well........

H: Do you still think you're the luckiest man in England Paul?

P: Without a doubt Helen, without a doubt

[rachb]

aaaaw Thank you Thank you Thank You ROB!
I've missed your stories so much.
poor Paul bhlcs

[Amy]

Thanks ROB that was brilliant... Oh how I've missed your stories!

[BigSister]

great story ROB I really enjoyed it

[peachy]

So did I...well done, old bean, you haven't lost your touch.

[Kaz]

Bravo, ROB ........ magnifique!

Oh, how I've missed your wonderful stories . . . . . *sigh*

That was so (Double Cool! )

[BusyBee]

Well, some night. Having my leg cut free by the fire brigade, and spending three hours in casualty wearing a pink negligee.

Oh ROB what a picture that would be - now I would pay thousands for that

Oh how we have missed your stories - one of your best, totally stonking and abolutely amazing my sad, mad friend.

Keep it up.

[Romantic Old Bird]

Thanks for your kind words friends.

I felt the need to lift my spirits, and what do you know, there they were, still lurking in my head.

I may never be totally cured.

And Sticks, before you start, I know it's December 1st and no news yet, but I believe, it will happen..........

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday and for the rest of their lives..................

[Di2001]

Lovely pic ROB and fantastic story. You really are so clever!

Brightened up my day it did..........

[Blink_Me]

Nice.

But it's a bit too long.