[Redway]

Originally Posted by Gusto Brunt

I'm loyal online but often if my loyalties and contributions aren't reciprocated or appreciated, I tend to ditch people who I think take my presence for granted.��

Yeah. I hear that. Face-to-face interactions of all kinds (from the irrelevantly-mundane to the deeply-personal 2.a.m. conversations with your bestie/s) come and go and they’re a daily bread-staple (however you feel about them) but when you’ve got some free say over how you initiate communication (as you do online) I’m the sort of person who takes that as an opportunity to at least try and build meaningful connections (down to the word) and make people feel a bit more understood or enriched for connecting with me. If you move with a madness to me for no reason or spew prejudices (that someone of any active moral stance is obviously going to check) on the Internet I’m not going to be that nice in return but the way my [online] loyalties do manifest is in the sense of treating people online with (at least) the same appropriate level of confidential respect as I would if we were friends in person if we’re not already and not wasting both of our time(s) by gaslighting them and their capabilities or passing unnecessary judgements. I won’t form a negative opinion on someone online if I don’t feel a reason to and in a world where it feels like so much time gets wasted just going through the wet humdrum of life and interacting with people you wouldn’t actually interact with if you had it your way (cranky Harley-and-Karen-bosses inc.) I’m not going to now waste time bringing negative energy and unwarranted judgements to the table over WhatsApp, F.b. or Insta. and draining someone else’s energy/making them feel inadequate for reasons which really wouldn’t be anything to do with anyone other than me (in connection with my particular purview of experience). I know the web’s an inexpensive space but interpersonally there’s no time to waste (unless you actually have a reason to dislike the person).

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I'm guessing those kind of ones that are clearly about a particular person without actually naming them so kind of like :

"Sick of doing favours for ungrateful people who are always too busy when you need help"

I understand where aimed statuses come from if it gets the message across to people you wouldn’t actually speak to/want to hang out with in physical time and no-one other than the people who need to see it have access to it. Some people do need to be called out in some capacity.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Redway

I understand where aimed statuses come from if it gets the message across to people you wouldn’t actually speak to/want to hang out with in physical time and no-one other than the people who need to see it have access to it. Some people do need to be called out in some capacity.

meh either say it or don't say, this half arsed guess working of who you're talking about is annoying and honestly that kind of airing your dirty laundry on Facebook stuff is cringey as **** imo

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by MTVN

I barely understand anything in this thread

I'm glad I'm not the only one, at first I thought this was about something else.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

meh either say it or don't say, this half arsed guess working of who you're talking about is annoying and honestly that kind of airing your dirty laundry on Facebook stuff is cringey as **** imo

True but some people use platforms like Instagram (or maybe even Facebook) to call people out to a selected audience of people who it might be relevant to rather than just broadcasting everything openly. That I can understand (and I’m not going to pretend I haven’t done that myself) but I agree that the public statuses along the lines of ‘omg I work in the worst warehouse in the world, can’t believe the morning I’ve had with dis cheeky manager’ are cringeworthy.

And even when all’s said and done and you do call people out discreetly-enough there’s no guarantee that they’re actually going to acknowledge what they’ve done and not gaslight you over it so sometimes it’s just more trouble than it’s worth. Some things are better left unsaid and unwritten.

[Niamh.]

When it's about real life people or family members I mean

[bitontheslide]

i think the fewer opportunities people have to fight/argue on social media the better. I would much prefer it to concentrate on being an information service rather than a vehicle for confrontation

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

When it's about real life people or family members I mean

It’s often about toxic ‘friends’/acquaintances who end-up being big-time gossipers/back-stabbed and the like. When it’s like that you’re often trying to avoid any more face-to-face contact with them (which is usually incredibly awkward in the first place once or if you get a bad feeling about someone) but I guess there are still means to get the message to them indirectly without necessarily plastering it in the broad open for everyone to see. There’s always the option of just messaging the person to say your ‘peace’ but sometimes people want a certain number of witnesses to see what they’re like or see what the full story really is.

Anything to do with family has no business being plastered on social media like that. I’ve never understood people who make family-business the public’s business.