[Red Moon]

IT'LL BE SO HOT

Snakes, rats and grubby goings on already as stars jungle fun begins I'M A CELEBRITY Get Me Out Of Here! JUNGLE QUEEN KERRY'S VERDICT

Kerry Katona believes the stars will send jungle temperatures soaring with steamy sexual tension.

The ex-Atomic Kitten, who won Celeb in 2004, said: "There are more swordsmen in this line-up than in a Robin Hood movie. They will be panting like jungle cats."

However Kerry, 28, warned whoever wins to beware the "curse of the jungle". She said: "The first year as champ goes by in a flash of media deals, talk show offers, you name it. But the following year everything can just fizzle out and nobody wants to know you.

"You only have to look at the previous winners like Carol Thatcher, Joe Pasquale and Tony Blackburn. You hardly ever hear about them any more. Even the last two winners, Christopher Biggins and Matt Willis, have hardly set the world alight."

Here is Kerry's exclusive rundown of this year's celebs:

JOE SWASH

Sounds like a soft drink. Heard he likes to get fruity with ladies. Was in a loo roll ad once but will have to use vine leaves in the dunny.

DANI BEHR

Once narrated for a series called Porno Valley. Judging by shots of her in bikinis every day, looks like she's just stepped off the set.

GEORGE TAKEI

Is openly gay. Once he sees Brian Paddock will have his phaser set on stun before beaming him up to his bunk.

BRIAN PADDICK

Will want to maintain law and order but may turn to jelly after he sees Simon's torso. Will want to be everyone's best pal.

MARTINANAVRATILOVA

I'm Told she has won 18 Grand Slams - is that a tequila-drinking contest? Will be licking her lips once she sees the young 'uns.

SIMON WEBBE

He'd eat himself if he was chocolate. Thinks he's cool but is afraid of anything that crawls. Wait till he meets Brian in the early hours.

CARLY ZUCKER

Never heard of her. Told she is a WAG moaning about her appearance fee. Get a life! Bob hope and no hope, this girl.

Nicola McLEAN

Show's minx. Boasts of being a WAG but should be a SAD. Says she's happy to have a lesbian fling but wait till Martina tries to jump her.

ESTHER RANTZEN

With her teeth those bugs and creepy-crawlies won't stand a chance. The headmistress of the show who will always think she is right.

ROBERT KILROY-SILK

Slimier than a croc's testicle. Will think he's the ringmaster of the group but as an ex-MP will probably talk b******s all the time.

Source: Sunday People

[Jackie]

I bet the oldies do well.