[Sticks]

Breaking News, North Pole:-

....Rudolf the Red Star Reindeer, who has "overthrown the yoke of the brutal fascist opressor and enemy of the working cervine / elfin proleteriat, the class-traitor and villain Claus".

"There is now an Elves and Reindeer Collective at the North Pole, organised on correct Marxist-Leninist principles".

"We hope to institure our first five-year plan, soon to ensure the pre-working proleteriat receive suitable fraternal gifts of solidarity at the Midwinter Festival".

Reuters:- it is uncertain as to what this means in practice for the children of the world, but we can perhaps anticipate Komsomolet scarves and copies of Das Kapital for under-fives to appear in the Christmas stockings this year as a "gesture of solidarity". Meanwhile, it is understood that Santa Claus, former ruler of the North Pole, has been refused political asylum by several countries....

I knew there was something fishy about the big guy with the red suit.

[Romantic Old Bird]

Not connected to this is it Sticks?:

North Pole Annual Report
Seasons Greetings!
_________________________________
The usual large flamboyant typeface associated with the seasons greetings has been downsized this year commensurate with the trend toward corporate downsizing. [And the fact that SMTP does not support typeface control]

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.

Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.

The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavorable press.

I am pleased to inform you and yours that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole. Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the earlier leak that Rudolph's nose got that way not from the cold, but from substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate comment, made by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at a time of year when he is known to be under executive stress.

As a further restructuring, today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.

The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.

The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.

As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.

Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line.
We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing") action is pending.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number. Happy Holidays!

_______________________________

Not mine I hasten to add!

[Sticks]

It also seem that that vicar who told the children Santa was dead may have been on to something

[jbellemeg]

Santa had a long life according to the photo.
The look on that little boy's face is priceless.

[Boris]

What a 'ROTTEN' thing to do.

No HO HO HOing for him this Christmas .

[Sticks]

I know this is a long bump, but I wanted the new crowd to be able to read one of Wendy's (AKA Romantic Old Bird) posts from 2002

2002, was the year we met in person in Manchester at the TiBB convention

RIP ROB

[BBkid]

Originally posted by Sticks
I know this is a long bump, but I wanted the new crowd to be able to read one of Wendy's (AKA Romantic Old Bird) posts from 2002

2002, was the year we met in person in Manchester at the TiBB convention

RIP ROB

MASSIVE bumpage there lol.
I know ROB had cancer but how old was she?

[Sticks]

57

[BBkid]

Originally posted by Sticks
57

That is young.
RIP

[andyman]

*woohoo old skool* Thank you for bumping this, i enjoyed reading. It was never cost effective for santa being at the north pole.