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I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hope that Big Brother brings in this huge effing 7ft Adonis with rippling muscles, a lunchbox the size of a marrow and the facial features of a greek god, who fought members of the Taliban in unarmed combat, yet has a sensitive nature, is a brilliant cook and makes everybody laugh. Oh, and also happens to fancy Sophie.

And then when we see Kris in the street, we can go ''ner ner na ner ner. Sophie's got a real man''.