[Kaz]

YEAR OF THE NOBODY

THIS time last year they were hairdressers, bank clerks or mechanics. Now they're stars, rubbing shoulders with celebrities at film premieres, riding in limousines and being followed everywhere by hordes of screaming fans.

This year has been the year of the nobody. From Big Brother to Fame Academy, Popstars to Survivor, TV shows have been dominated by real people grabbing the limelight.

Overnight they found themselves on the front covers of magazines, dating their idols and rolling in cash. This was the year that reality TV hijacked the schedules and gave us all bland, boring and instantly forgettable flopstars.

Lacking the talent to make it on merit, thousands of fame-obsessed shelf- stackers, students and barmen have bombarded auditions for everything from TV presenting to modelling and singing competitions.

And Celebrities Who Time Forgot got in on the act, with their own shows, Celebrity Big Brother and I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here.

Claims they were happy to sacrifice their privacy in order to raise money for charity fooled no- one. In reality, they couldn't resist the chance to revive their careers on prime time TV show.

Unbelievably, with ratings for these boring shows going down faster than Jade Goody on BB3, reality telly won two gongs at the recent Television Awards.

Pop Idol was named as Most Popular Entertainment Programme, while the third series of Big Brother gave Channel 4 its highest viewing figures in a decade and was rewarded with Most Popular Factual Programme for the second year running.

These days, all you need is a big ego and with the right exposure, you can have a record deal - just look at the Cheeky Girls.

The Transylvanian twins were dumped from both Model Behaviour and Popstars: The Rivals. But their mind- numbing audition song, Touch My Bum, was recorded as a single and last week sold more copies than Robbie Williams' latest release. On Monday, two more bands join the likes of Will Young, Gareth Gates and Darius Danesh, who all won record contracts after appearing on Pop Idol.

Girls Aloud and One True Voice are the five-piece girl and boy bands, whose creation over several months on the ITV show Popstars: The Rivals was watched by millions.

The series aired just as Hear'Say, the band which won the original Popstars series, spectacularly split after abuse from the public who voted them to stardom in the first place.

After fighting for a place in the bands, the members of Girls Aloud and One True Voice are now battling each other for the all- important Christmas No.1.

And last night's grand finale of Fame Academy will add not just one new artist, but a whole class of singers and musicians to the pop charts.

Even losing on these shows can set you up with an established fan base and lucrative new career.

Since winning Big Brother 3, Kate Lawler had a brief romance with Blue singer Duncan James, but hasn't been heard of since.

She may have banked the £70,000 prize, but it's unlikely her dream of becoming a TV presenter will happen any time soon. Fellow housemate Jade Goody, on the other hand, is a familiar face on the London party circuit and has released her own fitness video.

In BB, she was ridiculed for her behaviour and, after apparently performing a sex act on a house mate, became a hate figure. But since leaving, she is thought to have earned more than £250,000.

So take a close look at the person next to you in the bus queue. Like all the nobodies on these pages, he could be the next big thing.

TONY

NICE-GUY DJ Tony Blackburn won the jungle survival show, I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here.

In a show filled with petty feuds and warring minor celebrities, Tony's easy-going, self-deprecating, dull manner won over the public.

His high-flying Radio 1 days are long gone, but the success of the show means he is now a familiar face to a whole new generation.

And he's already released a compilation album of songs,cashing in on his King Of The Jungle title.

DARREN

DARREN DAY'S rendition of Robbie Williams' song Angels and a song he wrote in the jungle were two of the most cringe- worthy moments of I'm A Celebrity.

Already dubbed Britain's Biggest Love-Rat before he entered the show, the singer/actor had a love-hate relationship with Tara, but managed to stay faithful to his girlfriend back home.

His mockney accent was also ridiculed and so far he's failed to land any new work so far.

NIGEL

HIS appearance on I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here was a PR disaster for the former boxer.

Not only did Nigel Benn- nicknamed Dark Destroyer in his heyday - come across as a bully on the show, his strong religious views brought him into conflict with Rhona Cameron.

He also squared up to Christine Hamilton, accusing her of stabbing him in the back.

He was first to be voted out, has kept a low profile since and is about to move to his dream home in the sun.

CHRISTINE

A BATTLEAXE with a wardrobe full of garish clothes, Christine is a die-hard Tory who wears the trousers in the Hamilton house.

The wife of disgraced former MP Neil, she entered the jungle to improve her and Neil's public image, but within days was named as a two-faced Machiavellian figure by her fellow celebs.

Since then, she and Neil have continued their desperate attention-seeking behaviour - with no jobs to speak of, the pair need their notoriety to survive.

URI

SPOON bender Uri Geller famously ate live insects on the show to win food for his fellow `celebrities'.

He tried to be peacemaker and offered Nell and Tara the use of his massage skills.

He also confessed to Tara that his skinny frame was due to bulimia he suffered when he was younger. Since being voted out of I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here, Uri's disappeared from sight and mind, popping up only to defend his close friend Michael Jackson.

RHONA

SCOTS comedian Rhona Cameron was the only contestant with a career to speak of when she entered the jungle for I'm A Celebrity.

Bust-ups with Tara, Darren and Nigel raised her profile, but the experience left her exhausted and depressed.

Now well-known on both sides of the border, she's yet to capitalise on her increased profile.

She has since admitted that the show helped her to get to know herself a lot better.

TARA PT

FAMOUS as a rich daddy's girl with a drink and drugs problem, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson cut a bizarre figure in I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here.

Strangely, her yoga, bunny-rabbit impressions and erratic mood swings endeared her to the public. After allegedly propositioning Darren Day with sexy letters, then falling out with him and Christine Hamilton, she was runner-up to Tony.

Now has a more positive public profile and more TV work than ever.

WILL

IT seems as though Will Young has been around for ages, but it was only in February this year that he was the surprise winner of Pop Idol.

The scruffy politics graduate had a quick image makeover before his first single was released and gossip forced him to admit he was gay.

He's now had three No.1 singles and a chart-topping album, and he also performed at Buckingham Palace as part of the Queen's Golden Jubilee celebrations this summer.

GARETH

GARETH Gates, from Bradford, was just a schoolboy with a stammer at the start of this year.

After losing out in the Pop Idol final to Will Young, Gareth's millions of fans who'd voted for him throughout the series, ensured he was signed up by Simon Cowell.

Since then he's deluded himself into thinking he's as charismatic as Elvis and released anautobiography - not bad for just 18.

SINEAD

THE rock chick from County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland, was voted into the Fame Academy house on the first show and has always had strong public support.

Sinead Quinn's relationship with fellow contestant Malachi Cush kept viewers hooked and her original fears that she wasn't as slim or glamorous as her female housemates fell away when she became the last remaining girl in the competition.

AINSLIE

THE Fame Academy voice coach told Ainslie Henderson he sang flat, but he was the show's star performer.

Ainslie, a karaoke king from the Borders, was the Academy bad-boy and hated the cameras and rules, often spending time on his own, muttering to himself.

Disappointed at being ejected last weekend, Ainslie said that he would go back to gigging in pubs.

LEMAR

LEMAR OBIKA, from London, was a bank accounts manager before winning his place in the Fame Academy.

The teacher's pet only stepped out of line once, cheating on his long-term girlfriend with Camilla Beeput, a fellow student.

His soulful voice and songwriting brought him to the attention of Lionel Ritchie and without doubt, his career high so far is duetting with the superstar on the show.

NADINE

NADINE COYLE, of Derry, is one of five girls in Louis Walsh's new band Girls Aloud.

Before winning her place in the group, Nadine, 17, was between jobs, but had previously auditioned her way into Irish Popstars band Six, before being kicked out because she lied about her age.

Girls Aloud's debut single, Sound Of The Underground, is released on Monday and Nadine has said that she'll go back to college if the band doesn't work out.

JAMIE

JAMIE SHAW made it into the final five picked by Pete Waterman for his new band, One True Voice, along with Anton Gordon, Daniel Pearce, Keith Semple and Matt Johnson.

The Cardiff-based 17-year-old was at school before landing his dream job - and he can't imagine doing anything else.

As a child, he sang on the Michael Barrymore show, My Kind Of People.

Now that he is in the public eye again, Jamie aims to stay there for good.

He says: "I was just born to sing."

MELINDA

TOPLESS model-turned-TV presenter Melinda Messenger was keen topresent a more wholesome image on Celebrity Big Brother.

But while Les Dennis and Anne Diamond loved her, Sue Perkins called her a Vulcan due to her lack of emotion and Goldie claimed she had a dark side and brought him out in a rash.

Since finishing in third place, Melinda, who has claimed that housemate Goldie made her cry with his jibes, has been scouting about for a mainstream presenting role.

LES

LES DENNIS entered Celebrity Big Brother best known for his stint as the host on Family Fortunes and his adulterous wife, actress Amanda Holden.

Inside the Channel 4 house, he played to the cameras, acting nervous, paranoid and miserable, and spent most of his time with the chickens.

He finished in second place, staying the full week in the house, but his heroic return home was thwarted when Amanda, clearly in no rush to be reunited, stayed away for another week.

ANNE

ANNE DIAMOND was the mother figure and agony aunt of the Celebrity Big Brother house, but she bored viewers rigid.

Ridiculed in the Press and by some TV comedians for her ballooning weight, she burst into tears on leaving the house as she was reunited with her sons.

With a successful journalism career long behind her, Anne's said to be keen to return to the heady days when she presented GMTV.

GOLDIE

THE jungle DJ and ex-EastEnders actor was first to leave the Celebrity Big Brother house, but his larger-than-life personality and blunt attitude made a big impact.

Anne Diamond was fascinated by his bejewelled teeth and he kept the others entertained with his singing, jokes and breakdancing. No doubt hoping his repertoire would be showcased on the programme, Goldie was desperate to stay in the house, but claimed not to be bothered at losing the public vote.

PJ

TRAINEE lawyer PJ (Peter James) Ellis achieved brief notoriety for his drunken fumbling with Jade in the Big Brother house.

On being evicted, he and housemate Spencer Smith hit the party circuit.

PJ, who hails from Birmingham, is in no rush to qualify as a lawyer, milking his five minutes of fame for all he's worth.

But with no advertising deals, exercise videos or tell-all books on the horizon, it's likely he'll be back studying again soon.

ALEX

AFTER complaining that his fellow housemates were urinating in the shower, Alex Sibleyanded an advertising job with Domestos on leaving Big Brother.

However, a much-touted deal with Brylcreem never materialised.

Previously a model, he moaned that his first big break - fronting an ad campaign - was ruined when it was overshadowed by the terrorist attacks of September 11.

Since then, he's released his own calendar and presented an edition of the Channel 4 motoring show, Driven.

JADE

FALLING for PJ, showing off her `kebab' belly on national TV and bitching about everyone made Jade Goody Big Brother's most notorious housemate yet.

The former dental assistant finished third, but soon raked in around £250,000 in advertising and interview deals.

Since leaving the house, she's lost weight and released her own exercise video. A documentary film crew followed her for weeks after she left the house and she's currently appearing in panto at Gravesend, Kent, as the Evil Queen in Snow White.

KATE

KATE LAWLER walked off with the top Big Brother prize and a date with Duncan James from boyband Blue but quickly dropped from view.

The IT temp from Essex used her prize money to pay for her sister's wedding and a trip to Bali and claims she still gets pestered for her autograph.

She's released a kick-boxing fitness video but her hopes of landing a major presenting role have come to nothing and she could soon be signing on at the Job Centre.

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Although quite a scathing article, some of their quotes about certain people are not too bad . . . . . . . Tony, Tara and Will in particular.

However, they're pulling no punches when it comes to PJ and Kate!

[razzle]

Some good points well made in this article.

Thanks for this Kaz.

[Romantic Old Bird]

It is a good article. More and more into the reality machine. Chewed up and ultimately, spat out. Surplus to requirements. As Stuart said on the interview James linked recently, it turns your world upside down, and just as you get used to the attention, it's over.

Very cruel really.

Why are you miffed, BTW?

[razzle]

Good question ! I can't remember! I'll have to change it.

[BusyBee]

As with any new idea in this country it gets done to death and completely ruins the whole concept As my mum always says less is best.

TV saw the success of BB and thought what other similar concept they came up with. I think the demise of Hearsay is just the start. However talented most of these 'winners' do not have the backing to make it. They are boosted to high heaven and find life in the real world is completely different.

Bearing in mind the wannabees that were on this year's BB any guesses as to what next year's housemates will be like. The article was very true - these programmes in the main take normal everyday people, chew them up and spit them out not caring what happens to them. They then get criticised for being pushy, but the reason they do these programmes is to get money in as short a time as possible and we, the public, encourage this. After all take Jade (and please someone take Jade anywhere) whilst she was in the house she was completely vilified and was the butt of so many jokes, but come out and she suddenly becomes the 'star of the show'. Are we being fair to anyone. Its a wonder anyone survives the experience.

The celebrities are doing it to kick start their careers and no the score.

In five years time how many people (excepting us lot) will be able to name the housemates from BB. I've already forgotten this year's. Its a shame the concept was great, but it is killing itself - look at the ratings for the latest offerings.

Oh, I am being a bit philosophical - too much of the Christmas shopping its affecting my mind.

[James]

Elizabeth's penned another article:

She's a bit bitter.

http://www.sias.com/website/ob.html

[dizzy bint]

BusyBee, your post made a lot of sense. I agree with every word.