[Luanda]

Viewers of BB10 today were jamming the switchboard at Channel 4 after news emerged that Lisa, a skin-headed lesbian Aston Villa supporter, had found a job. Insiders at the Jobcentre in Birmingham refused to comment but an unnamed source said, "I can't believe she has found a job after more than 20 years of signing on".

Lisa, who has a large George Michael tattoo on her arse, said today she was looking forward to her new job as a lap dancer in the upmarket suburb of Solihull. "I can do you a quick dance now if you like?" the 48 year old mum of seven said as she left Lidl this morning.

[Ramsay]

mum of 7??

[Harry!]

Lovley. How good of her. What job though is the question?

[King Gizzard]

Shes a villa fan!?!?!


OH GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!111111111111111111!

[Luanda]

Following a meeting in London this morning it has been revealed that the Big Brother Brummie, Lisa, has agreed to marry David, a fellow contestant on the Channel 4 hit show Big Brother. Rumours have circulated for many weeks that the couple, who are now living in London, were in love. Lisa was recently seen in a bridalwear shop outside Leeds while David was enjoying a Campari and lime in his local bar, the "Uphill Gardener" in Leeds.

When asked by the gathered press outside the registry office Lisa and David just smiled and added they have never been happier.

Clive, an ex-boyfriend of David, said, "I'm gutted, it seems like only yesterday I was spreading cream cheese on his Ryvita".

A spokesperson for Big Brother when asked about this development would only say, "Excuse me, I'm just about to call the police if you don't leave me alone!".

The Metropolitan Police declined to comment but an unofficial spokesman said, "fancy a truncheon sandwich, sonny?".

[Harry!]

David and Lisa wed.

[Ramsay]

bullshit

[Beastie]

mum of 7? maybe Lisa was the mole! She said she had no kids but she has 7 secret kids!!

[Vladimir]

[rquote=2596361&tid=147960&author=Nathan]Shes a villa fan!?!?!


OH GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!111111111111111111![/rquote]

[Firewire]

7 children?

wtf

[Luanda]

Producers of the hit Channel 4 show Big Brother today revealed for the first time that Marcus, a strange looking man from London, was really Peter Andre. A shocked member of the production team revealed that while Marcus was in the Big Brother house he was secretly sending text messages to Katie Price begging her to join him in the house.

An insider told a member of the production crew that Marcus sellotaped his side burns on before leaving the bedroom in the morning in a failed attempt to disguise his real identity but swift work by the cameramen showed that Peter Andre was really behind the mutton chop mask so carefully manufactured by Marcus.

When asked to comment Mr Adebayor would only say, "I never did it" to assembled reporters.

Anne Robinson is 78.

[Kate!]

thanks all you guys, this is the funniest thread have ever read, pmsl. luanda you are a legend, how are you so funny.? please post some more like this.

[kevinyeah]

[rquote=2596956&tid=147960&author=sweetsophiefan]thanks all you guys, this is the funniest thread have ever read, pmsl. luanda you are a legend, how are you so funny.? please post some more like this.[/rquote]

agreed! quite amusing i must say!

[ricky2k9]

lol whats your source

[BigOz]

I hope this is B.S ..!

[MiuMiu]

[rquote=2596406&tid=147960&author=Luanda]

Clive, an ex-boyfriend of David, said, "I'm gutted, it seems like only yesterday I was spreading cream cheese on his Ryvita".
[/rquote]

This sentence is just SO wrong on so many levels lol!

[Shasown]

[rquote=2599527&tid=147960&author=MiuMiu][rquote=2596406&tid=147960&author=Luanda]

Clive, an ex-boyfriend of David, said, "I'm gutted, it seems like only yesterday I was spreading cream cheese on his Ryvita".
[/rquote]

This sentence is just SO wrong on so many levels lol!
[/rquote]

Yeah but so funny

[eye sea]

Lisa will probably start work as a middle of the road local radio DJ, playing Cliff Richard tunes for old grannies.

She'll probably have regular things on her show like 'community news' and 'guess the voice'.

And she'll give away mugs and pens.

[Marc]

[rquote=2596416&tid=147960&author=kerplunk124]
bullshit[/rquote]