[Stu]

So one day Arista was walking down the street musing about what it would be like to have his earlobes done in by a perky little fox. He decided that now would be a good time to visit the gay fox hooker shop. Now as a children's storyteller by definition the details of this journey into the underworld of vulpine fetishism astounded me but let's press on, Arista was on his way down the street still thinking of Foxes when he stopped and realized back in his flat he was recording a fox documentary not in HD.

"You fiend!" yelled a barely-dressed Graeme Stickings, running from behind with a look of sheer menace. Arista turned around; "Now Now, I don't want any trouble Sticks" he said, slowly grabbing hold of his sword from behind his back. ''SILENCE!' whispered Sticks : ''Know thus that nothing compares to seeing all the little greying fox hairs around all the little fox sex holes in crystal 1080i clarity! Yes! I can read minds! Whacky plot revelation!''. Purple monkey dishwasher. ''A typical interjection!'' exclaimed Sticks who could sense with his Jesus superpowers the authorship of Zee.

Out of the corner of his eye, arista noticed a feisty young cum-dumpster by the name of Scott. ''Scott's the name!'' exclaimed Scott who promptly handed a business card to everyone individually : ''SCOTT - NARRATIVE CROWDER''.

Arista noticed Scott's 'Swan Queen' tattoo on his shoulder and was intrigue he went over to Scott, 'So are you interested in Swans?' he asked - Scott replied; 'No infact I'm the leader of the Gay Rights movement for Foxes' Arista grinned at Scott.

'I touch myself and Ninastar' he announced defiantely before mincing off to Denmark. Meanwhile in Croydon Mark - Poker Hero - found himself at wit's end. It was a damp summer evening and the busty administrator had been defeated, resoundingly, by a trio of hedgehogs at Yahtzee.

He knew who he needed to help save the day, The Cheeky Girls (aka GypsyGoth and chuck.pass). He rang them and got hold of their PA, Smithy. ''Yahtzee, eh, what the **** are we doing playing Yahtee. It's bang out of order mate, I'm telling you, Bang out of order, innit'' exclaimed Berny The Tough As Nails Hedgehog with a brisk pull on his unfiltered cigarette as Mark plotted revenge.
"Yeah, man, I thought we were in this for some serious wonga," Fabio, the second hedgehog (with a bad Cockney accent), stammered.


Mark was growing impatient waiting for a call back from Smithy to confirm the help of GypsyGoth and chuck.pass, but little did he know that they were busy with a bigger situation; Patrick, who was threatening to burn all the worlds dictionaries. ''If only that fox fetishism shop - The Dirty Den - didn't sell cheap novelty lighters and if only it wasn't run by Dictionary Dave!'' said GypsyGoth as our heros sat around a table tying together plot elements rather nicely from a secret lair.


"How have we made it this far without someone making a FOX Network joke?" gasped chuck.pass, as Rupert Murdoch kicked down the secret lair's entrance and tossed in Sticks' dismembered head. ''A message from my friend Arista to all you freeloving dykes at the BBC!'' roared the media mogul with triumphant laughter.

[Benjamin]

So one day Arista was walking down the street musing about what it would be like to have his earlobes done in by a perky little fox. He decided that now would be a good time to visit the gay fox hooker shop. Now as a children's storyteller by definition the details of this journey into the underworld of vulpine fetishism astounded me but let's press on, Arista was on his way down the street still thinking of Foxes when he stopped and realized back in his flat he was recording a fox documentary not in HD.

"You fiend!" yelled a barely-dressed Graeme Stickings, running from behind with a look of sheer menace. Arista turned around; "Now Now, I don't want any trouble Sticks" he said, slowly grabbing hold of his sword from behind his back. ''SILENCE!' whispered Sticks : ''Know thus that nothing compares to seeing all the little greying fox hairs around all the little fox sex holes in crystal 1080i clarity! Yes! I can read minds! Whacky plot revelation!''. Purple monkey dishwasher. ''A typical interjection!'' exclaimed Sticks who could sense with his Jesus superpowers the authorship of Zee.

Out of the corner of his eye, arista noticed a feisty young cum-dumpster by the name of Scott. ''Scott's the name!'' exclaimed Scott who promptly handed a business card to everyone individually : ''SCOTT - NARRATIVE CROWDER''.

Arista noticed Scott's 'Swan Queen' tattoo on his shoulder and was intrigue he went over to Scott, 'So are you interested in Swans?' he asked - Scott replied; 'No infact I'm the leader of the Gay Rights movement for Foxes' Arista grinned at Scott.

'I touch myself and Ninastar' he announced defiantely before mincing off to Denmark. Meanwhile in Croydon Mark - Poker Hero - found himself at wit's end. It was a damp summer evening and the busty administrator had been defeated, resoundingly, by a trio of hedgehogs at Yahtzee.

He knew who he needed to help save the day, The Cheeky Girls (aka GypsyGoth and chuck.pass). He rang them and got hold of their PA, Smithy. ''Yahtzee, eh, what the **** are we doing playing Yahtee. It's bang out of order mate, I'm telling you, Bang out of order, innit'' exclaimed Berny The Tough As Nails Hedgehog with a brisk pull on his unfiltered cigarette as Mark plotted revenge.
"Yeah, man, I thought we were in this for some serious wonga," Fabio, the second hedgehog (with a bad Cockney accent), stammered.


Mark was growing impatient waiting for a call back from Smithy to confirm the help of GypsyGoth and chuck.pass, but little did he know that they were busy with a bigger situation; Patrick, who was threatening to burn all the worlds dictionaries. ''If only that fox fetishism shop - The Dirty Den - didn't sell cheap novelty lighters and if only it wasn't run by Dictionary Dave!'' said GypsyGoth as our heros sat around a table tying together plot elements rather nicely from a secret lair.


"How have we made it this far without someone making a FOX Network joke?" gasped chuck.pass, as Rupert Murdoch kicked down the secret lair's entrance and tossed in Sticks' dismembered head. ''A message from my friend Arista to all you freeloving dykes at the BBC!'' roared the media mogul with triumphant laughter.

Both GypsyGoth and chuck.pass looked at the bloodied head of Sticks and noticed something shimmering in one of his teeth. They got up for a closer inspection, carefully shuffling closer to where his head was casually lying on the lairs dusty floor.