The Labear Party formed in 2009 when TiBB member Nathan Mugabe registered for what he thought would be a carefree Utopia of discussions on the merits of Freddie Fisher's beard. However, much to his dismay, he soon found that the website was rife with problems, and set out to solve them.
The party has steadily increased in support and popularity through its philanthropic activities over the years. Highlights include the TiBB Music Awards 2010, where worldwide acts such as Lady GaGa, Elton John and Same Difference performed for the website's audience in support of the TiBB Anti-Bullying charity, This Is Beating Bullying, headed by Jamie Pugh. Another career high for Nathan was the creation of the
Baking Thread which saw a 304% increase in the sales of TiBB cookies, creating an additional 200 jobs for the community.
The Labear Party have always put TiBB first and are not afraid to fight tooth and claw to get what TiBB rightly deserves. If elected, we would strive to achieve the following goals:
1) The creation of a new public holiday, 'Lionel Day', designed to celebrate the career and spirit of Lionel Richie and the wonderful Commodores. This would fall on September 28, and citizens are welcome to observe such soon-to-be-traditions as singing songs, attempting to dance on the ceiling, and growing mustaches.
2) The National anthem to be replaced with the Yogi the Bear theme tune:
Click here and try not to weep with joy.
3) We will strive for UNESCO to include marmalade sandwiches on their list of cultural heritage sites and will establish a closer rapport with the Republic of Peru in accordance with our reverence for Paddington Bear.
4) The problem of global warming will be tackled more urgently and seriously in order to help save our polar friends.
5) The forum would be advertised extensively on wildlife and survival TV shows, which we hope will lead to a 44% increase in users and activity. We are particularly interested in working with any franchise Bear Grylls chooses to associate himself with, given our admiration for his survival and resourceful techniques.
6) The Music forum would have a strict policy against the creation of threads about Katy Perry, Chris Brown and Scouting for Girls. We feel this quality control would only benefit the ears of its users.
7) It would be a requirement for TiBB citizens to observe hibernation during the month of January. The website would then be closed for improvements and maintenance work, as well as giving citizens a month to recuperate and work on better thread ideas.
8) Given the LGBT community's embracing of the term 'bear' to mean a larger or hairier homosexual male, the Labear Party will campaign for LGBT equality, with a vested interest in the legalisation of gay marriage. We will marry two homosexual sloth bears at the ZSL London Zoo as an act of solidarity.
9) In the event of a coalition government we are keen to work closer with the Cosy Listen (or Coalition) Party, given our similar stances in the areas of foreign and social policy.
10) The constitutional monarchy would be slowly dismantled. In the 21st century it is quite absurd for a family to inherit vast amounts of wealth and power without any notable work for it. We will replace the current royal family (and its pesky corgis) with a title of 'Papa Bear' or 'Mama Bear', depending on gender, which would be elected every 5 years. Buckingham Palace would be bulldozed and replaced with a giant castle created entirely out of Fox's Glacier Mints.
11) The slang term 'bare', taken to mean 'very' or 'in exceptional proportion', would be popularised on television by the likes of Rolf Harris and Bill Oddie.
12) The right to bare arms is one the Labear Party cannot condone more, and therefore we would push for the abolition of all long sleeves.
13) The TiBB footer's links for Housemate subforums would be ****ING BLOODY UPDATED
14) Bear hugs would slowly but inevitably replace handshakes as the British form of greeting.
15) A daily 'paws for thought' would be observed on TiBB where a celebrity would appear via video-link and give some uplifting or challenging thoughts for us all.
Thank you for reading our manifesto, and if you have any concerns or queries feel free to contact us at:
support@labearparty.gov.uk
or visit
http://www.thebearrocks.com/
30-03-2012, 12:15 PM
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