[cc100]

shes not been on for 2 weeks now??


bit odd

[Romantic Old Bird]

And are you related to Sticks cc?

Gloria Hunniford hasn't been on again either, and Kerry Katona not as much (thankfully in both cases).

I haven't seen or taped it every day, but Helen IS one of the few on the opening titles.

If you are not happy about her lack of appearance, be like me: send an email to:

loosewomen@itv.com

on a regular basis!

I live in hope!

[BusyBee]

Think it will be necessary to do an e-mail petition to get her back on. My e-mails have been winging to them reminding that there are lots of us Helen supporters out there who would really like to see her back.

Could work you never know.

[Romantic Old Bird]

Sent another one!

[BusyBee]

And me

[rachb]

me too

[chilledbootz]

I think this is the last week for Loose Women before the new Autumn schedule starts(I could be wrong) so maybe H will be back for the last show.

[James]

Loose Women is on in the week starting Monday 8th September, beyond that don't know.

If Helen hasn't been on the show again it looks increasingly like they only decided to invite her previously because it was the last week of BB4.

The reason she was is in the opening titles may be because that week of the show was the first in the series.

[chilledbootz]

ok thanks James. I think they should put this show on all the time. I love it!!!!!!

[bananarama]

I hope to eat these words but I tend to agree with cc100.

I don't think she would have been included in the opening logo if they had not intended her to be a regular on the show. That just would not make sense.

So as she has not appeared since i would conclude that she has been dropped from the series or pulled out of her own accord.

After the ignorant Alex performance it wouldn't surprise me if Paul had said to her. You don't need this "Helen" pull up anchor and call it a day or something like that She would have replied well!! "Worse things happen at sea. Then Paul would have said!!!!!! ......Oy bananarama get a grip what are you rambling on about..

[Romantic Old Bird]

Originally posted by bananarama

After the ignorant Alex performance it wouldn't surprise me if Paul had said to her. You don't need this "Helen" pull up anchor and call it a day or something like that She would have replied well!! "Worse things happen at sea. Then Paul would have said!!!!!! ......Oy bananarama get a grip what are you rambling on about..

Yes, get a grip bananarama!

Imagining what P&H would say to each other? It's time you went back to school!

Can't imagine ANYONE being that obsessed.

Besides, it would have been:

P: H, I don't like the way that prat Alex spoke to you there. I don't like it at all.

H: Why?

P: Because he was well out of order.

H: Oh Paul, he was just being funny. I think he's funny, don't you?

P: No I bloody don't. In fact, if he ever talks to you like that in front of me, I might just land him one.

H: Paul Clarke! You're violent, you are! I think I'd better watch out for myself, living with a violent man like you.

P: You know I am not violent Helen, and even if I was (which I'm not) I would never ever hurt you. I couldn't.

H: Ah, love you, I know you wouldn't, BYLCS!

P: I hope you do know Helen, because that just wouldn't be right. I would never do anything to hurt a woman. Ever!

H: That's not completely true!

P: It is!

H: It isn't, because you hurt me once.

P: Did I? I didn't, I know I didn't. I never have.

H: You have so Mr Clarke

P: Alright then, you tell me when I hurt you

H: Well...

P: You can't, can you? 'Cos I didn't! When did I hurt you?

H: It was when you said........

P: Aaah, there you go then, you're talking WORDS. If I said something, it's different.

H: Not that different. It made me cry anyway.

P: Well I still say it's not the same. What did I say anyway?

H: You said: It was 60:40 me. In the house.

P: Bloody hell Helen, are you STILL banging on about that? I've said I'm sorry.
You know I didn't mean it like that

H: You did, you always say what you mean

P: I try to, 'cos you should do. But that time, it didn't come over right.

H: I still worry about that. Is it more me than you, and are you just being nice to me?

P: Nice? Living with you sice two weeks after it finished? Buying a house with you? Buying you stuff from Gucci, and Cartier, and having my picture taken in a flaming PINK towel!

H: It wasn't flaming pink Paul, it was Cherry Pink. It says so on the label. 'Minnie Mouse Cherry Pink Beach Towel'

P: OK then, Cherry bloody pink, it don't matter, it's the idea. Me looking like a complete idiot in that towel

H: I thought you looked lovely

P: Well, you were probably the only one who did!

H: I was worried about you.

P: Why?

H: I thought you might get cold, sitting there

P: Helen, we were in the Maldives! It's hot there

H: I know it is.

P: Well then.

H: I want taking no chances with my Mr Clarke

P: You're not joking. 36 degrees in the shade, and she thinks I'll catch I cold!

H: You laughing at me, Paul Clarke?

P: Yeah!

H: Why?

P: Cos

H: Cos I make you laugh?

P: Always. Since the day I met you. Even when I didn't like you, you still made me laugh.


H: It's good we can always laugh, don't you think, Paul?

P: It is Helen

H: So, what do you think I should have said to that Alex then?

P: Nothing I suppose. He wasn't worth the effort

H: Of getting upset?

P: No, definitely not

H: That's what I thought. So I didn't.

P: No, you were brilliant with him babe

H: I was, wasn't I?

P: Yeah

H: So Paul, that means, I was right.

P: I suppose

H: And in that case, that means, you were wrong

P: I'm not saying that!

H: You are!

P: I'm not!

H: Yes you are, you said you supposed I was right, and that I was brilliant

P: Well, I was being diplomatic

H: So you didn't mean it then?

P: Well, yeah, and ...no..

H: Paul, you are hopeless.

P: Well, I just don't like anyone giving you a hard time. You're too nice.

H: Am I?

P: Yeah, and kind

H: Don't forget loving

P: Well, I wouldn't, would I? You are loving.

H: And touchy feely?

P: Well you are very tactile

H: Paul!

P: What?

H: I don't like it when you call me that.

P: What, Tactile?

H: Yes.

P: Helen, tactile is good. It means you are very sensitive to touch, and that you like to touch other people. It's about liking getting close to people.

H: It doesn't mean oversexed then?

P: No, course not. Just, well, sensual

H: That sounds even worse

P: Well it's not. It's good. It's nice that you are tactile, and sensual. I like that about you.

H: Only like?

P: No, I love it.

H: That's alright then

P: Right

H: Paul?

P: Yeah?

H: Do you want your dinner soon

P: If it's ready, I must admit I am totally starving mate.

H: It is

P: Blinding

H: Oh, alright then

P: Why did you want to do something else first?

H: I thought you might want me to get tactile

P: Well, you should have thought of that first.

H: Dinner can wait, can't it?

P: Well, I'm starving now. You've made me think about food.

H: Well you've made me think about other stuff. Don't you want a cuddle?

P: I want my dinner, actually. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach..

H: If you say so Paul

P: Cool. Can I eat it here, while I watch the Athletics

H: If you like

P: Cheers

H: Here's your dinner then

P: Hang on babe, I'm just watching the relay final. Just put it on my lap.

H: If you want me to, here it is then

P: Cheers..............AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH

what the bloody hell???

H: Don't you like it?

P: Like it? I'm injured for life. I'll never be the same again. Why did you put it there? What is it?

H: Your tea Paul. You said 'just put it on my lap'

P: I know I did, but I thought you meant on a plate

H: You don't need a plate for Cornetto

P: Well, I didn't think you would put it there.

H: Is it really cold?

P: Err, YEAH!

H: Well, move it then

P: I will. Oh God, it's all starting to melt. I'm in a right mess now. Chocolate everywhere.

H: mmm

P: It's almost as bad as when...

H: As when what?

P: As when we was in the garden that time

H: That's a long time ago Mr Clarke

P: That was hilarious

H: It was funny

P: I had such a job to keep my hands off you that day

H: You didn't keep your hands off me

P: I tried to

H: Well you failed.

P: I did

H: Was you feeling tactile?

P: I was.

H: You alright now love?

P: No, not really

H: Ah, love you. What's the matter with you?

P: Well H, I think I might just be feeling tactile again

H: And I am. That's good, right?

P: That's pretty good, yeah

H: So that's two tactiles then!

P: But not too tactile!

H: Oh Paul, you've lost me again. I'm not much good am I?

P: Never mind Helen. It doesn't matter, it really doesn't.

H: That's OK then.

Later:

H: Oh Paul, you've missed the relay. It's all my fault for being tactile.

P: Don't worry about it Helen. There will definitely be a replay

H: Will there?

P: Absolutely

H: Fantastic! But do you think they'll show the relay again later?

[hapatus]

That was hilarious ! You're a great writer

Hanna

[bananarama]

Nice one ROB. Are you sure you don't live next to them with a stethascope against the wall.

[BusyBee]

Oh ROB you've done it again. No need to say anything you know I think your stories are absolutely blinding. Are you sure you didnt pop in on your way home the other week.

Loose Women seems to be the Claire Sweeney show, she's on all the time.

I have sent several e-mails asking about Helen all very polite, but not even the courtesy of a standard reply. Perhaps Banarama is right and Paul had a word with her. I can imagine Helen being very upset over Alex and that other woman telling her she was loud and that Paul must be deaf through living with her.

Still we can always hope they will see sense.

[kaphc]

Oh Thank you ROB - I've had a really boring and hard slog of a day and this has been like a ray of sunshine to brighten it up!

[Legally blonde]

Thank you ROB. I was having a lousy morning but your story made me smile and i'm in a much better mood

I can imagine that happening in reality. Sure you don't have a camera hidden in H&P's apartment?

[chilledbootz]

R.O.B as ever..............BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:e lephant:

[miss little glitzee]

morning sickness??

[peachy]

Sorry ROB, I've only just got round to reading this

Brilliant as ever. You really can just turn them on like a tap. You always get them bang to rights.

Well done.

[Romantic Old Bird]

Thanks all. Just me being daft again. I will put it in ROB's little world I think, where it belongs! I didn't mean it to be a story, I was just going to put a couple of lines, but you know how it is..........

[James]

Presenter Kaye Adams, in an article about David Blaine's stunt, mentions Big Brother.

KAYE ADAMS: WHAT COULD DRIVE A MAN TO LIVE IN A BUBBLE? TOO MUCH HI-TECH

Sep 6 2003


Kaye Adams

THE folks at Channel 4 are no fools, are they? What a brilliant idea to put live coverage of David Blaine's latest stunt on their website.

After six weeks of watching Mr Weird crouched in a perspex bubble with only the prospect of him changing his own nappy as something to get excited about, we'll be begging for the next series of Big Brother.

At least it offers 10 vacuous bozos living in a vacuum and there's always the chance one of them will say something memorable like, ``I love blinking, I do'' or ``Is East Angular abroad then?'' or even, ``I didn't come here for the fame, I came for the experience''.

Maybe I am being too cynical.

Maybe there is a good reason why David Blaine chooses to suspend himself above the Thames in a bubble of perspex with no food or verbal communication with the outside world for 44 days.

Or, then again, maybe he's got an agreement with Tony Blair that when he emerges sometime in October he'll declare that Iraq's weapons of mass destruction have been up there with him all the time -as if by magic.

No, it seems the reason for Blaine's voluntary incarceration is, I suspect, much more mundane.

His computer began playing up and after many lost days trying to sort it, his blood pressure went sky high.

Then he thought, ``I am either going to chuck this sodding computer under a bus, myself under a bus or withdraw from technology and stick myself in a perspex bubble.''

Given the circumstances, I feel he made the right decision.

As you might gather, I am having computer problems and if someone offered me a six-week sabbatical from the 21st century suspended over the Clyde, I'd shout, ``Right, hand over the nappies, I'm on my way.''

My big mistake was to be seduced by the marketing twaddle.

``Make your life easier,'' it whispers in your ear. ``Instant communication wherever you are. No wires, no fuss. one click and you're connected.''

That's how I came to buy a so-called pocket PC which would allow me to be a walking, talking, e-mailing, surfing, faxing whirlwind.

That was two months ago, just before my contract got underway. And, as it comes to an end, I am a screaming, cursing, Luddite who still can't get the damn thing to function.

I don't mind them selling us stuff if they make it clear you also require a computing science degree, extreme patience and three weeks to learn it.

Just don't let us normal technogeeks walk away from the shop naively swinging our plastic bag with the new gizmo inside thinking that within 10 minutes of it coming out of the box it will actually do anything.

David Blaine is not mad. He is a sensible man who has been driven mad by dongles, Bluetooth, memory cards and USB cables.

He might look strange in his bubble, but by 2010 we'll all be queuing up to be locked away from anything that bleeps when you switch it on.

Email k.adams@daily record.co.uk

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/features/content_objectid=13377093

[Mervi]

Thank you ROB! You made my day!

By the way, I haven't found anything on H&P's trip to the Maledives. Was anything published in the papers at the time?

[BusyBee]

There were some photos from P and H's holiday in the Maldives in a copy of Heat magazine. It has been published somewhere else on this site, not sure where I've scanned in again, but scanner playing up so not sure about the quality, but it will give you an idea.

By the way if it was down to us Helen would be on tv every day. I think the tv companies must be fed up of all the e-mails we send, they should just give in to us.

[BusyBee]

here's the first

[BusyBee]

and another