[the truth]

Originally Posted by kizzy

No it isn't, It has done what I wanted and encouraged people to discuss what might be the contributory factors to suicide...
Alex and the truth to me are both right, boys are socialised into internalising their feelings like a pressure cooker, and sometimes those things explode.
The truth is also correct in that the breakdown of the family could effect a man due to the isolation from his home and children, I can totally understand that.
Maybe we are shifting from a patriarchal to a more matriarchal society, I'm not getting all Samantha Brick here (god forbid) but it is important to maintain a balance.

There has also been a rise in the numer of men who not only take their own life but their family or children too, what makes a man do this?
It happened in my area recently, and nobody could explain it.

Goos post, thank goodness at least one poster sees the problem. Its happened for decades. It has simply never been addressed.
Men in those situations have literally have no one to turn to , no one to advise them either.
Imagine the situation. Youre a young man working your way through the pressures of school and college. Obviously a man must work his whole life and earn a living, its compulsory. So when he gets through school and chooses a career, he then embarks on that for the next few years to try and obtain a qualification that leads to a decent job. A friend of mine for example is a tool maker, this took him around 5 years of study and work placements. Another works for the council, he has a degree too.

So he left university aged 23 with a qualification. He earns approx £25,000 p/a. He took out a mortgage on a £175,000 house. He married with 2 young children. He awoke one morning and hiw wife told him it was over. Totally out of the blue.

So he left to live on his mothers couch. 3 years later, he is still paying the mortgage for her , plus most costs for the children. Meanwhile she has moved her boyfriend in, this is the chap she was cheating on him with. He is emotionally , mentally, financially too exhausted to change the situation hes in. He works 7 till 5, he pays his parents rent, he pays his mortgage and for his children, so theres not much income left to try and change his circumstances. This is the nicest bloke you could ever meet. Hiw ex wife, has never worked. He has been through the courts to a degree, but found the law in favor of his wife and the sheer expense and time and also the harm done to the young children would cause too much damage. so he pays the bills, yet the cheating bloke lives in his family home for free. He has no advice, no bodies to really turn to , to give him substantial advice. People just shrug their shoulders? what would you do in his situation

Ill give you another example. another mate, meets a girl falls in love. great, were all happy for them. he sells his house which hes built up for years, with new fireplace, new kitchen etc as she wants to move into a nice residential are for £250,000. he sells his £150,000 house. takes a mortgage on the rest.
when they move in, her personality chnages. she demands a drive, new kitchen, all marble. she demands the garden is redone and wants all the pipes replacing and he buys her a brand new car in her brand new drive. this comes to over £30,000. he does it all without any quibbles. then she starts telling him to patrol the neighbourhood if nay park near her drive or makes a noise at night etc

ok so then shes pregnant, this is around a year into the marriage. the child is born. they argue more and more. as the pressure of his bills and the new child take effect. he has to work longer hours to pay the bills. she keeps ringing the police about the neighbours simple for playing a musical instrument in the day or parking by her drive. ok so after the child is around a year old, he gets home one day and finds the door locks changed? he tries to break in and she gets the police to try and arrest him. he explains its his house. they ignore that and take his details. he islocked out of his home permanently.

he has to go through the courts to get access to his equipment, but by the time he is allowed access, she has destroyed much of his belongings , including his entire home gym. a few months later, she moves in her boyfriend.
he is living on his mothers couch but paying all her bills 100% himself on the mortgage and the car repayments and he has given up his whole life savings to buy the house and his personal stuff has been destroyed.

she then goes to court to prevent him getting access to his son on grounds on him having bad eyesight. he has a condition which affects his sight.
the next few years are spent, fighting through the courts, amassing huge legal bills, paying the £100,000 mortgage off and the car loans off, paying for the child (despite stopping access, she still wants all the money)working round the clock and fighting to get access to his son. meanwhile the man his wife is having an affair with lives in his £250,000 house for free

Now what would you or anyone do in his situation?

is it any wonder how some men give up inthis country and jump of a bridge

These are just 2 examples and I assure you, these are the nicest most genuine, honest hard working, decent people you could ever meet. But their wives dont see them that way, they see them as suckers!

mans world my as*