NSFW: **** my life

[user17866]

..oh, that really is a bit of an unfortunate event Zee...I feel bad just thinking about it and you're living it....
...there's probably a bit of a moral in that story somewhere, but you'll not be in the mood to think about that right now....

...I hope you haven't passed them on to someone else, this thing could spiral out of control....hope you get it sorted out and feel more comfortable soon, we're all thinking about you....

[Mrluvaluva]

Originally Posted by Ammi

we're all thinking about you....

Erm, no we're not. *tries to erase thoughts of crabs from mind*

[CaraRawr]

oh. wow.

[Petershaw1984]

*****......

[thesheriff443]

when ever i watch spong bob from now on i will always be thinking of zee as mr crabs.

[Niall]

Oh my

Okay I'm sorry but that's rather hilarious but I'm sure stranger things have happened

[billy123]

Thats one of the best excuses ive ever heard.

[Benjamin]

Oh God, I read up on them:

It is typically found in pubic hair, but may also live on other areas with hair, including the eyelashes

[CharlieO]

Stop lying to yourself we all know you did the dirty

[Z]

So this morning I went to the Boots round the corner from my flat and they didn't have anything but they helpfully phoned up the nearest branch to see if they had anything, which they did. I then went into this second branch of Boots and asked the girl at the till if they had any Lyclear cream, but not the head lice one. She looked at me like I was Russell Brand, and then asked her supervisor, who then asked the pharmacist, so then the entire staff behind the counter knew I needed this cream. They had some, and the supervisor asked me "is it scabies?" - mortified, I said "no, it's crab lice" and then committed suicide in front of her. It set me back £10.27 (jesus ****) and I've spent ages covering myself head to toe in this cream and am now washing absolutely everything I've pretty much laid my hands on in the last few days, I've been wiping down all the surfaces in my room etc, ****ing gross

[Benjamin]

Oh Greg.

That sounds hideous, but trust me at some point in the future you will look back and laugh at this. And at least you have got the stuff to get it treated. The worst part is now over.

[Z]

I know I'll find it funny when it's gone but right now I'm so upset. Who the **** gets a ****ing STI without doing any ****ing ****ing ARRRGGHHH WHAT THE ****

[Z]

I had such a **** night's sleep I was worrying so much. I have two flatmates; one of them I told last night because I was so upset and she came with me this morning for support; the other one it's her birthday tomorrow and all her birthday plans are today so I'm trying to stop worrying and be fun so I don't put a downer on her day, I haven't told her because I don't want to draw attention away from her birthday! Waaahhhh

[Benjamin]

Gregory, it'll be okay. **** happens in life, unfair it may seem but you'll survive. Yes, it's embarrassing, but we all been through something awfully embarrassing. If it makes you feel better I went for an sti check once after a scare and it was my friends dad that had to do the check. I wanted the world to open up and swallow me.

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by ukturtle

it was my friends dad that had to do the check. I wanted the world to open up and swallow me.

good thing he didn't, by the sounds of it.

[Benjamin]

[Z]

So I washed the cream off this morning after the 24 hour period and then spent all morning shaving my legs for the first time which turned into a bloody massacre hosted by my bath. I then went out and bought some Veet and just spent a good hour going to town on my legs with the stuff, I used the entire bottle and need to get another one to finish off the bits I missed but I'm pretty much hairless everywhere now. I'm taking no chances. I look ridiculous.

The moral of the story is never get close to anyone because they'll hurt you/give you crabs if you get too close to them. Shudder.

[user17866]

..aww.. poor Zee..this is something to tell the grandchildren......or not....

[Mystic Mock]

Tell the Grandchildren Zee.

[Jessica.]

I hope you didn't shave off your eyebrows.

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Zee

So this morning I went to the Boots round the corner from my flat and they didn't have anything but they helpfully phoned up the nearest branch to see if they had anything, which they did. I then went into this second branch of Boots and asked the girl at the till if they had any Lyclear cream, but not the head lice one. She looked at me like I was Russell Brand, and then asked her supervisor, who then asked the pharmacist, so then the entire staff behind the counter knew I needed this cream. They had some, and the supervisor asked me "is it scabies?" - mortified, I said "no, it's crab lice" and then committed suicide in front of her. It set me back £10.27 (jesus ****) and I've spent ages covering myself head to toe in this cream and am now washing absolutely everything I've pretty much laid my hands on in the last few days, I've been wiping down all the surfaces in my room etc, ****ing gross

[Mrluvaluva]

Once you are rid, here is something for you to go out and celebrate in:

[Ramsay]

Crabs are just great

[Benjamin]

This thread best win something in the TiBB awards.

[InOne]

Still have no idea what Greg thought he would gain by telling TiBB this