[Romantic Old Bird]

During the early stages of his campaign for re-election as President of the good old U.S. of A, Mr Bush's advisors think a 'Let's take politics to the people' approach would be appropriate.

Mr Bush isn't quite so sure, but they reassure him that appearing both open and approachable will pay dividends in securing votes in those crucial liberal states.

Mr Bush agrees to visit an elementary school to talk about the war in terms his aides feel they (and he) can readily understand. After delivering a well rehearsed speech about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness he feels confident that he has put in a sincere and solid performance to these junior citizens.

'Now' he said, smiling benignly down upon a sea of awe-struck faces, 'does anyone have any questions?'

'Come along children, surely one of you must have something they would like to ask the President?' said one of the teachers encouragingly.


One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him to walk up and join him on the stage.

'That's it, come along up here. Now what is your name young man?' he asks

'It's Billy, sir '.

'Well, nice to meet you Billy. My names George. And what is the question you have for me, Billy?'


'Well, sir, I have 3 questions.'

'OK, let's have them then. Fire away' said Mr Bush, smiling straight into the camera as he grasped the young lads' hand firmly.


The boy reahed up and took hold of the microphone offered to him by an aide.

'Mr President. The first question I have is: Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

My second is, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

And my third question is, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Somewhat taken aback, Mr Bush looks towards his aides for inspiration. The smile is now somewhat transfixed on his face.

After what seemed like a long period of 'Well, you see-er's and 'As Americans we the duty and right have the right to - er - um' etc the school bell rang loudly for recess.

Mr Bush tells the children that he wouldn't dream of making them miss their break, and promises to continue after recess.

When they resume Mr Bush takes his place again on the stage and asks.

'OK then, where were we? Oh, that's right --- question time. Who has a question?'

A little girl puts up her hand, and George cheers up immediately.

'Ah, a young lady. Come on up here and join me little Missy. Now what's your name?'

'My name is Laura-Jo, Mr President', said the little girl.

'My, what a pretty name. Mrs Bush is a Laura as well you know! Now, what is your question?'

'Well sir, I really have 5 questions.'

'Well, that surely IS a lot of questions, and I will do my best to answer them to the best of my ability. Now don't you be afraid, just you speak up nice and loud so everyone can hear', he said, patting her gently on the head and smiling, this time directly into the NBC news camera.


'Oh thankyou sir', said the young girl politely.

'First of all, I would like to know why the USA invaded Iraq without the full support of the UN?

Second of all, why did you get to be made President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

And fifth Mr President, what's happened to Billy?'

[Amy]

[Sticks]

And Saddam Husain was such a nice person, who never harmed a fly and was such a great philanthropist. All that rubbish about invading Kuwait was mearly CIA American lies, as was the so called gasing of the Kurds at Halabjuh. (It was really a CIA nerve gas test)

I say lets get a world wide petition to get Saddam Husain released and restored to power, I'm sure he is so well loved we will get it in no time.