[Ninastar]

this is kind of hard to say, but I need help... literally. I think i'm becoming depressed.

Its mainly due to family issues/not going to uni etc, but I'm crying literally every day and i'm struggling to cope.

has anyone ever felt similar to this? did you get help? did you go to the doctors? have you had counselling?

i've heard good and back things about counselling. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've lost the old me and I hate feeling **** all the time.

maybe i've just made this thread to feel liked or something, but i have no idea what to do. I just feel so unloved.

[michael21]

i love you

[Z]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

this is kind of hard to say, but I need help... literally. I think i'm becoming depressed.

Its mainly due to family issues/not going to uni etc, but I'm crying literally every day and i'm struggling to cope.

has anyone ever felt similar to this? did you get help? did you go to the doctors? have you had counselling?

i've heard good and back things about counselling. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've lost the old me and I hate feeling **** all the time.

maybe i've just made this thread to feel liked or something, but i have no idea what to do. I just feel so unloved.

I've just started attending counselling to resolve rage issues that I've been experiencing since I was assaulted a few months ago. It's been really beneficial to me so far and I would recommend it for you too Caitlin - you're not going to feel any better by doing nothing and if you feel like your family is one of your main issues then obviously talking to them won't help, and even though I'm sure you have trustworthy friends who will want to help you, friends aren't trained to resolve things like this... even if you find that counselling isn't for you, I would recommend going to see someone, attending a couple of sessions and trying to stick with it - they are there to help you! xxx

[michael21]

my advice is only you can sorted out your life if you not happy do some thing about it like applying for uni by doing this it might give you confident

[Kyle]

I would advise you to go see your G.P and explain to them how you are feeling. I did the same at the beginning of this year due to depression and suicidal thoughts and now I'm in cognitvive behavioural therapy with a diagnosis of Body Dysmorphic disorder.

Please do not feel ashamed, you have done great to say what you have now and reaching out is the first step in feeling better.

Make sure you write your feelings and thoughts down before you go because it can be hard to recount what your feeling in the presence of your G.P but please, please, please do it. There is no shame in getting help even if it's just for a shoulder to cry on.

Originally Posted by Ninastar

this is kind of hard to say, but I need help... literally. I think i'm becoming depressed.

Its mainly due to family issues/not going to uni etc, but I'm crying literally every day and i'm struggling to cope.

has anyone ever felt similar to this? did you get help? did you go to the doctors? have you had counselling?

i've heard good and back things about counselling. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've lost the old me and I hate feeling **** all the time.

maybe i've just made this thread to feel liked or something, but i have no idea what to do. I just feel so unloved.

I think most people growing up feel like this at some point. I'd suggest the first thing you need to do is go and have an honest conversation with your GP about everything.

So you didn't go to uni when you reached that age, but there is no reason you can't apply next year, or maybe even contact the open university. If it's general depression then none of us can help, other than advise that you seek professional help, but if it's about your goals and ambitions, and how to achieve them without feeling swamped then I can help you with that if you'd like.

[michael21]

Ninastar when was the last time you flt happy

try and do what ever it was

if this falls try doing 5 head over heels

[Ammi]

..Caitlin, I think a lot of people go through ‘crisis’ at different points in their lives and from things you’ve posted, you’ve had a lot of changes going and that’s very difficult for any of us to cope with..the uni thing is a fairly obvious thing to think of because it’s one of those ‘what ifs...'.....that can make you think that if you had chosen to do something different, everything would be cool right now..?...but the ‘reality’ is more that if you had gone to uni, it would probably have led to lots of unhappiness because it wasn’t what you wanted or felt was right for you at the time and you know yourself better than anyone else does....there are certain things in our lives that we have no control over but they do have a huge emotional effect on us and we spend so much time worrying about them...what therapy will do (CBT for instance..)..is help you to understand yourself more/what rules your emotions/actions etc and that will also help you to be able to concentrate on the things in your life that you do have control over and not fret so much about the ones that you don’t because nothing you do/feel will change them and all worrying about those things will ever do is frustrate you and make you more unhappy and it’s all wasted energy that you could focus more on something else, ....something that personally makes you happy/more positive...

..I would go to the GP and talk to her/him and tell them exactly how you’re feeling for a lot of the time...there are different types of counselling, it’s not a one size fits all type thing and there are other things as well, which your GP will advise you about...

[Stu]

My heart goes out to you. The most I can really do is offer up the usual platitudes and hope you take stock in them. Namely that there is so, so much in the world to be happy about. A warm dinner that tastes great, mornings, evenings, people to talk to, television. They all sound so eerily trivial to a depressed mind but I'm a big believer in taking stock of the little things. The trick is to view your depression as a transitory thing which I know is easier said than done. Try and utilise it as a temporary period in space and time to try and deal with your issues one by one and become a stronger, more patient, more compassionate person from it.

Not that you are not these things already but I think one can use times like these to strengthen strength and fall in love with love and in general just be more carefree and appreciative. Because those are the end results that are waiting for you if you're willing to give it a try. It's easy for me to wax lyrical about life being beautiful because that's my own perception of it in present time, I know, but I think it is an experience open to anyone.

Specifically about your University hang ups, I screwed my education up in a pretty bad way for years and ended up dropping out after two years of a rinky dink film and TV production degree. It was a very practical vocation that would have offered up plenty of jobs that paid only in experience and getting contacts which is what the world of film and TV is built [I'm not an expert but take it from me if anybody is reading this and wants a career in any aspect of putting something on screen - you are nothing but the people you know] on but I chose not to utilise my time there. I done the whole bottle living thing that started out as wanting to look like a tragedy and ended up as one for awhile. Not that I regret it because I got my crazy out in those years.

Right now I'm more focused and I'm working on becoming a writer because I honestly believe words are probably my only marketable talent that sets me apart and I would be foolish not to capitalise on it. I will probably return to University in September to get a back up degree and career option in genetics or biochemistry because those fields fascinate me but really in this day and age going to University when you're 'supposed to' is a null concept. Universities are full of people of all ages who have had to radically rethink their gameplan in recent years due to the economic turmoil that surrounds us. We lived until very recently as a generation that could often get a nice bit of money, two cars and a mortgage off simply being employable but that's just not the case any more. You need to work your tits off for it in large part or get lucky. You can't apply to get lucky, unfortunately.

You can start University and have a wonderful time there. It really, really doesn't matter if you're a year or two late, honestly. It's nothing whatsoever. However in the meantime it's important to keep yourself busy. The University issue and your family issues seem to suggest to me that embroiling yourself in some new interests would be a great idea. Maybe I'm being presumptive and you do already but it's always good general advice to give out, isn't it.

Go for a jog in the mornings, challenge yourself to get in to a new style of cinema and form thoughts on it each week, pick up a book every now and then without reading the blurb just because you think it looks kind of cool and the author has a weird sounding name and by christ, meditate. I'm a total convert. Meditation is the bees knees. You'll be able to hopefully cultivate peace of mind as a skill at first and then realise that it just comes naturally to you and that all this time you weren't experiencing a lack of happiness, just an addition of depression. It's important to let go of things and fast your mind for awhile. When you really start to try it's astonishing how fast you will realise how difficult it is. The culture that we have created for ourselves is insistent that you never leave it high and dry. It'll try not to let you have a break. But you totally should.

I'm sure a lot of that fell into the realm of convoluted wish wash - a particular skill I have cultivated in abundance - but hopefully you'll find something of worth in there. Basically you're a great person. Start with loving yourself then spread it out. The more you spread it out trust me ... it has a way of finding it's way back to you. And hopefully you'll start smiling more because you deserve no less.

[Lee.]

What a fantastic post Stu!

[Natalie.]

Writing how you feel down is a good idea, that is what I did before I went. I'd advise you, like other people have said to go to the doctors and be very honest with him.

[x-evenstar-x]

You have to go to your gp, it's really important that you do.

I can really sympathise with you and from my own experiences all I can say is see your doctor as soon as possible, because the sooner you see them the sooner you will be feeling better.

[King Gizzard]

I'd definitely agree you are still very much young enough to do those things you want, just don't leave it as long as I have..I'm really paying for not doing that stuff now, but you still have plenty of time to do it :-) and with the depression thing I think I joined a forum that kind of suited my needs to do with anxiety/depression to talk to like minded people and that helped me out a bit, and talking on here generally and keeping myself occupied so I don't think about those things

[Ninastar]

thanks everyone. there's stuff going on right now which means my time on here is limited, but i'll reply properly later.

[Verbal]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

this is kind of hard to say, but I need help... literally. I think i'm becoming depressed.

Its mainly due to family issues/not going to uni etc, but I'm crying literally every day and i'm struggling to cope.

has anyone ever felt similar to this? did you get help? did you go to the doctors? have you had counselling?

i've heard good and back things about counselling. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've lost the old me and I hate feeling **** all the time.

maybe i've just made this thread to feel liked or something, but i have no idea what to do. I just feel so unloved.

If it is something that is impacting on your daily life and ability to function then it is a problem.
A few online resources you may find useful are

http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://www.samaritans.org/ - you can rant/rave/express your feelings in an email if you don't feel comfortable using the phone and someone WILL respond.
There is also this online counseling website http://www.horsesmouth.co.uk/ where they utilise trusted members as counselors that you can talk to.
Also If you have access to a good, sympathetic GP, it wouldnt harm to pay them a visit, it is their job to listen to you.

[GypsyGoth]

Aww Catiln



I think all the wise stuff has been mentioned, so I'll just add that you're beautiful, intelligent and fun. I've no doubt that you'll succeed in life

[Ninastar]

Catilin, i like it.

Thanks again everyone. This has helped me in more ways than you will ever know.

[Kyle]

How are you feeling now if you don't mind me asking?