[peachy]

Hi everyone, Bunty here,

Floss told me about this site and my glamorous and stunningly attractive friend, Peachy, said I could borrow her computer to talk to you all. I never watched Big Brother myself too busy with my good works in the parish. Taking little food parcels round to those less well-off than myself is very time consuming, you know. I’ve been trying to get hold of Floss amost of the week but she seems to have become rather elusive so I thought I’d report on my preparations for the interview on Saturday. Well, as Floss told you I had my moustache touched up and brought myself a new skirt, black-watch Tartan, it is, lovely. I’ve also got myself a nice twin-set in ecru, my OH said it looked beige to him but I said no, the nice lady in Marks’s definitely said it was ecru.

I’m also booked in for a perm tomorrow. Armand, my stylist (as he insists I call him) is a lovely boy, but he does keep trying to make me change my hair. I’ve told him if it’s good enough for Her Majesty it’s good enough for me. So, I’m all set up.

Floss said I could also take the photos and Lee has lent me her digital camera for the purpose. I don’t suppose they’ll be anything like as good as Sticks’ holiday photos but I’ll try.

As for Floss, well she’s taking this interview business very seriously. She booked herself into one of those health farm places for three days of pampering, with full body massages, facials and a bikini wax. I asked her if this was strictly necessary but she insisted it was. I had heck of a job persuading her, that although she did need it, there really wasn't time for liposuction.

Anyway, she got back yesterday so I popped round and do you know what I found her doing? She’d been to Evans and bought herself a pair of extra large denim jeans and there she was with them in the bath, rubbing great splodges of bleach all over them. I don’t know who she’s trying to look like but I also caught sight of a long blonde wig on the dressing table in her bedroom.

She’s gone and hired this motorhome in which to conduct the interview. She's kitted it out with huge cushions, subdued lighting, and has made a shelf all the way round, with big pebbles on. Not only that I've had to traipse round car boot sales looking for a head of buddha to put on the shelf. As if all this wasn't enough she's given me strict instructions that she’s going to ask all the questions and if he wants to give her the answers in private I’m to wait outside, guard the door and ignore any noises that come from inside. What's all that about? I don't understand it. Can anyone tell me why she's behaving like this?