[kirklancaster]

Did you watch the 3.30 race at Sandown - 'The Pervert Jockey's Stakes?

The entire field got disqualified for interfering with one another in the last furlong.
................................

Did you see the 4.00 race at Sandown -- 'The Christmas Party Stakes'?

Poor old Luke Morris. He was 10 lengths clear of the field entering the last furlong when a Christmas Pudding hit him in the face. A few seconds later, a Pork Pie hit him, then a 6 Pack of Mince Pies. Half a furlong out a Bottle of Sherry and a Christmas Cake hit him, and he began to drop back. A few seconds later a Full Turkey hit him and a Box of Christmas Crackers, and his horse slowed to a virtual standstill, and three other horses sailed past him.

In the unsaddling enclosure the furious trainer ran up to Luke and said: "You were 10 fecking lengths clear a furlong out and you fecking lose? What happened?

Luke says:"I got hampered".

Boom Boom. This thread must not die.