[LeatherTrumpet]

2. How does Luis Suárez like his Christmas dinner? Bite-sized.

3. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Game of Thrones.

4. What did the Snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face.”

5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron? He’s got two parties to organise.

6. What’s the difference between Bono and Santa? Santa gives you things you want.

7. Why won’t Santa visit Nigel Farage? Because he only comes if you sleep, not if Ukip.

8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket? They’re always bowling snowballs.

9. I got a Ukip advent calendar. It’s rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut.

10. Why is The Great British Bake Off like the nativity?


cracker jokes

http://www.theguardian.com/stage/201...cker-joke-gold

[LeatherTrumpet]

Because the Star is in the Yeast. (for number 10)

[Marsh.]

Why are there so many bakeries in Scotland?
Because everyone's interbred.

[Firewire]

Originally Posted by Christmarsh.

Why are there so many bakeries in Scotland?
Because everyone's interbred.

oh

[Ninastar]

your take that one isnt showing the answer

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by Urwreatha

your take that one isnt showing the answer

if you are serious that could be very funny

[LeatherTrumpet]

Who wraps the little bits of bacon around the tiny sausages?



It’s the pigs trying to put themselves back together again.

[Livia]

Trumpet, you're supposed to save the crackers for Christmas Day, not take all the jokes out first...