[Z]

Leon Greyjoy had taken Winterfell and had chased the crippled LemonBran and the youngest Stark, Patrickon, out of the castle. He had tried to maintain his grip on the stronghold but he was quickly overpowered and taken hostage by reece(: Bolton. He'd soon found himself being tortured by Ramsay Sligo - an Irish sounding bastard son of reece(: who took pleasure in flaying his captives alive. He'd stolen Leon's password and posted inflammatory .GIFs and gotten him so many infraction points that he'd been banned for 3 months and Leon feared that he'd been forgotten about by his friends - even his sister CaraRawr Greyjoy hadn't come looking for him and he'd been systematically tortured into going by the name Bleak, apt considering his circumstances. Bleak followed his captor everywhere; and although Ramsay had been chastised by his father for turning the heir of the Iron Islands into a long term banned blubbering mess, he'd taken no further action. Bleak had forgotten who he had been over time and was too scared to even post in the appeals section, for fear that Ramsay would see it and punish him by creating a multi account and getting him another 3 month ban. He couldn't even remember his password anymore anyway.

---

Gypsygoffrey Banthemall was ecstatic at the rout they'd given Icemannis at the battle, despite the grunt work being carried out by his Grandfather Dezzywin Lezsister. He/she (hard to tell with that nose piercing and a Skunk Anansie CD collection that large) revelled in belittling Saphsa Stark and rubbing his betrothal to Marge Tyrell in Saphsa's face; though Saphsa had in fact befriended the Queen-to-be and her grandmother Oglenna in recent weeks. It came as a deep shock to Saphsa, then, when she was informed that she would be wedded to MTVyrioN Lezsister in an alliance that would give the Lezsisters the right to Winterfell - she'd been informed that her brother Locke and mother Caitlin had been massacred and had been devastated and wanted nothing more to do with the evil Lezsister clan, but now she was being wedded to the chump against her will. Gypsygoffrey was gleeful over this decision and enjoyed nothing more than visiting Saphsa and mocking her.

MTVyrioN wasn't happy about this union either and had conveyed as much to his bride-to-be. MTVyrioN had fallen in love with a prostitute, Amy-Jae - whom he had put into Saphsa's service as hand maiden to keep them both safe and keep an eye on them both without alerting suspicion. It was not becoming of a Lord to be associated with a prostitute and his father Dezzywin enjoyed nothing more than banning such women to the north where the Sh!te Talkers roamed. He wondered what had become of Niamhie - she had been taken prisoner by the Starks but was not to be found at the wedding massacre; where had she gone?

---

Josei had wondered much the same - her lover and sister had been missing for more than a year and she feared her dead - the mother to her children was gone and she felt alone. She had hoped that killing the Starks would bring her some happiness but it hadn't, so she'd concocted the scheme to force her brother MTVyrioN to marry Saphsa Stark. She had yet to learn that the misery of others wouldn't bring her joy, but she was in charge of the whole realm - no one was there to put her in check. No one bar her father, Dezzywin. He was an expert at the Hand job and had always done it better than she'd ever had and now he was in charge of her son's Hand job - grandfather and grandson. Gypsygoffrey was becoming hard to control, the Hand job was becoming fast paced and Gypsygoffrey demanded more and more all the time and she worried that the excitement of it all might exhaust her father - certainly the end results of Gypsygoffrey's excitement had landed on her lap on more than one occasion. They had rushed ahead with the MTVyrioN-Saphsa wedding in order to make way for the royal wedding of Gypsygoffrey to Marge; and the day was fast approaching.

---

Niamhie Lezsister and Ammienne of Tarth had formed an unusual bond on their travels back to TiBB Towers - originally staunchly against the captive; Ammienne had felt duty bound to Caitlin Stark but had since heard of Lady Stark's death and knew that her only mission was to get Saphsa and aristya to safety as she had promised the Lady she would. Upon returning to the capital, they'd found that aristya Stark hadn't been seen in years and was presumed dead - and Saphsa Stark had been wedded to the chump MTVyrioN. Ammienne knew it would be nigh on impossible to rescue the young girl now but Niamhie knew how important it was to her to rescue the girl and she vowed to help in whatever way she could.

Niamhie's reunion with Josei was cold, to say the least. Josei coldly reprimanded Niamhie for not moderating anything while she was gone and Niamhie argued back that she'd broken glass in her thumb and couldn't feel any sensation in it and how was she to know that anyone had posted an inappropriate image in the newest chat thread if she couldn't feel anything in her clicking finger? Josei snorted derisively at that and shrugged her off, leaving Niamhie feeling worthless. The wedding day of her illicit son-daughter had arrived and she couldn't have felt less involved if she'd tried.

---

Marge and Oglenna were seated at the head table at the wedding when Gypsygoffrey confronted her uncle MTVyrioN and mocked the chump for his love of NFL. It did not go down well. She'd rounded on Saphsa and had made fun of the deaths of her parents and older brother - it had turned into an ugly scene and Marge had become uncomfortable.

The crowd were shocked when Gypsygoffrey suddenly started choking and she pointed at MTVyrioN accusingly.

"He put a cricket ball in the King's drink, I saw him!" Josei shrieked. "Seize him!" MTVyrioN was grabbed by guards but his wife Saphsa had disappeared in the commotion - a bounty was placed on her head by the Queen but Gypsygoffrey choked to death (on a big ball, much to her fury) and the realm was left without a King. It fell to Gypsygoffrey's younger brother Tømmen to become King, but he wasn't 13 yet and Josei wouldn't allow him to sit on the throne even if he felt he was ready. He would be protected from such horrors until he was of age, no matter how much he lied about his age. A mother knows. Josei was inconsolable at the death of her first born; she had failed him as a mother and so she was filled with rage when Dezzywin told her that Marge Tyrell would be wedded to Tømmen when an appropriate time had passed.

"I will not have that freaky slut marry into what's left of my family!" Josei had screamed at him.
"You will allow it because family comes first. We are but a few moderators in this unruly realm and we must serve the interests of furthering our names before we serve ourselves. And to that end, you will marry her brother, Thomas C Tyrell." Dezzywin commanded.
"YOU ****ING WHAT?!" Josei was speechless for once. "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! I AM NOT MARRYING THAT ****ING WOOFTER! THAT'S SICK AND WRONG AND I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD EVEN WORK, THAT LITTLE CROSSDRESSER IS MARRYING MY PREPUBESCENT SON!? IS THAT INCEST!? I THINK IT MIGHT BE!"
"You're outraged by incest?" Dezzywin asked, an eyebrow raised, pausing for a moment. "...the Targayformen dynasty were an inbred rabble who were renowned for buggery, treachery and incest - how else do you think they remained in power for so long? We need the Tyrells, Oglenna Tyrell is selling her hair to fund our near-bankrupt family's war effort and to repay her we must marry her grandchildren, in order for her to continue to bank roll us."
"I WON'T DO IT!" Josei sobbed.
"You will. I don't care who you are, you are my daughter and you will do as I say." Dezzywin stated calmly.
Josei stormed out and had a vicious look on her face. She passed a young kitchen hand, a young lad called Jordan., and gave him a 12 month ban in her fury for no reason. She was still the most powerful woman in TiBB and she would not be controlled by anyone, not even her own father.

---

Icemannis Banthemall had licked his wounds and had had enough of waiting around.
"You told me I would be King!" He barked at Mystic Mock, whose nipples were a rosy red in the heat of the nearby fire.
"Look at my glorious breasts my King, the Lord of Light commands you." Mystic Mock intoned. "You shall be King. We must travel North now to visit the men of the night; a great struggle shall be upon those boys and while that is no concern of ours, perhaps we can take those boys and take them again and take them until they serve you and only you. They do not need to serve other men. We will crush Mance Hayden and his wild men and we will launch our offensive from the north. Nipples."
"Very well, Mystic Mock, your wisdom knows no bounds and neither does your bomb pussy."
"Fire. Lord of Light. Vagina."

---

Prince Omah of the House of Porne had arrived in TiBB Towers to attend the royal wedding and had witnessed the death of King Gypsygoffrey. The sight had pleased him - the Martells hated the Lezsisters after Dezzywin Lezsister's henchman, Ser Greg Zlegane had brutally raped, murdered and closed a thread of his sister, the Crown Princess Jemelia Martell during the sacking of the Targayformens. They'd murdered her children and the grievance had not been healed by time - so the sight of a Lezsister being murdered was a welcome surprise. It was even better that another Lezsister - the chump, MTVyrioN - had been accused of the murder and had been sentenced to trial - a trial that would surely lead to death, judging by the bad blood between Queen Regent Josei and her brother. Prince Omah sniggered as he posted another thread about Katie Price and revelled in the turn of events when it occurred to him to visit the imprisoned Lezsister.

MTVyrioN was pleased to have a visitor. His sister Niamhie had come to see him and the two had swapped stories since their last meeting; but he had otherwise been alone. Not even Bronnzors had come to see him. So when Prince Omah had deigned to visit him, he was surprised but grateful all the same. The visit had played on his mind as the trial had approached - did he have a friend in the capital after all? Bronnzors was a vain sellsword who only cared about his own wealth, MTVyrioN's friendship with him had been based on gold and nothing more - and Prince Omah would be serving on the judging panel at his trial. He had survived one unfair trial by runway, he resolved to survive another.

---

When Amy Jae testified against MTVyrioN at the trial, he'd felt crushed. They had been in love, or so he thought. He'd treated her well and she'd stabbed him in the back. He supposed that she too had only been his because of his gold. He truly was alone. He had nothing left to live for but the sake of being alive, he knew he had to demand a trial by runway. He declared his intentions and earned a furious "HA!" from his sister Josei. She'd been expecting as much and she'd picked out the perfect champion to represent her - Ser Greg Zlegane. Ser Greg was also known as The Forehead Mountain and so had plenty of room on his face to show expressions like Sword Steel and Fagnum, he was a true Zeelander model after all. Who could possibly defeat him in battle? Who would even want to take him on? Not one man alive was brave enough to take on a forehead that gigantic, Josei had assured herself. But she hadn't considered Prince Omah. Omah was out for revenge and was bitter that The Forehead had locked Jemelia's thread about the merits of double penetration. Despite being fully in the shadow of Ser Greg's forehead, Omah was confident of victory.

---

"Admit it, you killed my sister and gave her an infraction!" Omah shouted as he sashayed down the runway.
Ser Greg said nothing as he towered down the catwalk giving face.
"You killed Jemelia Martell!" Omah served some Katie Price realness as the battle turned in his favour. "You deleted my thread about Katie's breast reduction and you banned my sister! You killed Jemelia Martell!"
Ser Greg Zlegane had been bowled over by the sheer charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent displayed by Prince Omah and Omah got cocky. It was at this moment that The Forehead had reached up and grabbed Omah by the ears and had pulled him down and rolled on top of him.
"I banned her and laughed as she posted reaction .GIFs in the appeals section!" Greg roared, forcing his forehead into Omah's mouth. Omah screamed as inch by inch, Greg forced his forehead down his throat. He had forced about a quarter of it in when Omah's head exploded, shocking everyone in the crowd but Josei Lezsister.

---

Across the forum, Rose McGowan was mounting an assault on the last Sex Slave city of Thepeen. Her army of Unwillied had swelled in size and was now a formidable package just waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting Lezsisters. They wouldn't like what her boys had waiting for them behind their sheaths, that much Rose McGowan knew. The thought helped her sleep at night. Her fagons were gigantic fagons by now - but LeatherTrumpetos had accidentally flamed a young newbie so badly that he'd killed them... accidentally, she told herself, trying not to fear that it had been on purpose. Ever since, however, she had not seen the unruly fagon, he'd disappeared and it was with a weary heart that she decided to chain up Firewiria and Lucarion in her dungeon. They'd loved it at first, not knowing that it was to be an indefinite measure - they were surrounded by emancipated sex slaves who had been in chains for years, they had thought it to be a sex game at first. Lucarion had squealed with delight at first but the soul sisters had become bitter and snappy any time Rose visited them.

She had been joined by Harrystans Madonna - former captain of the King's Guard - after he'd been fired by King Gypsygoffrey and had been advised by a close knit group of Ser Josiah, Harrystans and Darenno Naharis - plus the captain of her Unwillied, Gay Germ.

"You are free now, you are no longer being rented out by your Dom Master - you do not have to go by the name they gave you anymore!" Rose had been exasperated.
"I was Germyle before they enslaved me, that name brought me only sadness. I was Gay Germ when the Swan Princess saved me, this name brings me fortune." He had replied, refusing to go by any other name.
"Very well then, Gay Germ you shall remain." Rose had nodded wearily. So it was with this group she marched upon Thepeen and swallowed it whole.

[T*]

omg i'm the king
oh wait no im not

[Ammi]

....it really is such a treat to read these instalments Z...so, so clever and I love how you have fitted in some of the back in the day members who don't post anymore...and fitted their story character with their own as well...and also blending the 'chat of the moment'...Chat and Game of Thrones coming in for the Emmy this year...but which actors/actresses are playing the parts......


..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZlicious......

[Tom4784]

Sensational.

[Glenn.]

This is iconic

[Z]

Thanks all - I'll no doubt be hit with inspiration when I've watched the newest episode of GoT tonight...

[Smithy]

Who do you want on the iron throne Greg

[Gstar]

Gay Germ and his sugardaddy better slay

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

Who do you want on the iron throne Greg

He wants you bent over it.

[Marsh.]

Where am I?

[Kizzy]

You are my bastard son who comes to avenge my death, you break and hand out the swan qwens crown... Then roasts her to feed all her victims before claiming the throne.

Fin.

[Z]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Where am I?

Grand Pimp Marshmont

[Z]

Shaun Snow and the men of the night were being raped, pillaged and plundered by the wild men who had come to visit. They were valiantly pretending to enjoy it but the brutality was intense and it took all of Shaun's abilities to not fight them off. They were terrifying men. Suddenly, Icemannis Banthemall and his army burst into the pimp house and started to slaughter the wild things. Shaun Snow and his best friend, Samuel Tibbly, cowered and huddled together when Icemannis Banthemall dismounted his horse and approached them.

"Do you know who I am, boys?" He simpered.
"Y-Yes, you're the King's brother!" Samuel piped up.
"Wrong. I am the rightful heir to the throne!" Icemannis roared.
"My father wrote to you... Nate Stark..." Shaun spoke almost inaudibly, afraid of what might happen. He told himself that whatever Icemannis planned to do to him would be no worse than what he'd already been through.
"You're Shaun Snow?" Icemannis looked curious. "What are you doing here with the men of the night?"
"My uncle Benjamin... he took me... and then he brought me here..." Shaun wept.
"This is no place for a Stark boy even if you are a bastard!" Icemannis boomed.
"His place is here." Grand Pimp Marshmont announced, entering the room. "Shaun Snow is one of the best, he can handle three swords at once and he has pretty hair."
"I see... what do you say, Shaun Snow?" Icemannis asked him.
"I-I..." Shaun couldn't say it. He feared it might be a trick. "I... my place is here now... I..."
Samuel looked appalled as Shaun bowed his head, and Icemannis shrugged.
"Well, we'll need men like you when the real war begins. I've heard rumours that an army of Sh!te Talkers is planning to launch a DDoS attack on TiBB Towers."
"The wild things have mentioned such things, my Lord," Samuel spoke up. "But Mance Hayden and his men would say anything to get in me knickers."
"Very well. I'll return with an army of good men when the war is over." Icemannis nodded. "We'll leave in the morning."

---

Livia Littlefinger, Master of Coin (of course she is), had smuggled Saphsa Stark out of TiBB Towers into the relative safety of her aunt Lilysa's fortress in the Vale. Lilysa and her son, bobnot Arryn, were a little too attached and Saphsa's mother Caitlin had never allowed her family to see too much of Lilysa, for fear of corrupting them. It was with Lilysa that Saphsa now found herself - an orphan with nobody in the world to look after her. Nate was dead, Caitlin was dead, Locke was dead, aristya was missing presumed dead and the traitor Leon Greyjoy had murdered her brothers Patrickon and LemonBran. Saphsa was the last remaining Stark and felt utterly alone.

Livia Littlefinger and Lilysa Arryn went a long way back. Lilysa had always been infatuated with Livia and Livia knew it - Lilysa would do anything for her. Livia had even pretended to be in a tragic accident involving a horse and a drunk horse coachman and Lilysa had made arrangements to sneak Livia into her home without alerting anyone in TiBB Towers; thus Saphsa found herself in Lilysa's castle with Livia Littlefinger who was pretending to limp. Normally, Saphsa would have called Livia out on her behaviour, but she'd found her a safe refuge - who cared what Livia was up to?

Suddenly, Livia snogged Saphsa, right on the mouth, in front of Lilysa. Lilysa screamed, calling Saphsa an "American idiot" even though Saphsa had no idea what an American was, probably an insult of some kind in the Vale, and yelled "wake me up when September ends!" even though Saphsa had no idea what September was, probably a word used in the Vale for "nightmare" or something.

Lilysa stormed towards them and grabbed Saphsa by the hair, dragging her over to the moon door. Saphsa screamed and tried to pull away, but Lilysa had snatched her weave. Livia placed a calming hand on Lilysa's epic dodes and immediately, Lilysa let her niece go. Saphsa squirmed away as Livia calmed her aunt down.

"Oh Lilysa... you must be so tired and I'm so Jewish."
"Am pure Scottish hen but a pure love youse," Lilysa began, but was interrupted by Livia pushing her through the moon door.
"Never waste time on people who can't speak properly." Livia shrugged her shoulders sheepishly as Saphsa's jaw hit the floor.
"You killed her!" Saphsa hissed.
"Oh please, I didn't kill her, the fall did!"
"Where shall we go now?" Saphsa looked frightened.
"We're going back to Winterfell. I have someone I'd like to you to meet." Livia said with a knowing glint in her eye.
Saphsa looked terrified as they set off to her old home.
---

aristya Stark and Sticks the Hound had travelled far and wide, aimlessly, ever since they'd narrowly missed Lady Caitlin and Locke. aristya had been inconsolably, mumbling phrases like "Life in the Fast Lane" whenever Sticks had tried to spark up conversation about his science forum, so they mostly travelled silently. Sticks had had the idea of taking aristya to her aunt Lilysa for ransom money (to fund a new server for his science forum) but when they'd arrived, they'd discovered she was dead. It seemed they had nowhere to go, when Ammienne of Tarth had stumbled upon them and had tried to convince aristya to come with her. aristya had had none of it, noting that Ammienne didn't know anything about the price of a new HDTV and had watched as Ammienne and Sticks had battled. Sticks had kicked Ammienne in the ellipsis and Ammienne had broken Sticks' fridge; but eventually Ammienne had won the fight and Sticks lay there bleeding to death. aristya had hidden herself from view, not trusting this woman with her strange punctuation to look out for her best interests. aristya had her own way of doing things and her own strange punctuation, she didn't need anyone else's input. She decided to head to Kavos, where Jack_en of the house of pansexuals and the believers in the Many Gendered God resided. She decided she wanted to become like them.

---

LemonBran the cripple and Patrickon his guyliner loving little brother had travelled north, beyond the reach of the men of the night, and were trying to find some tree or something. No1curr.

---

MTVyrioN Lezsister was due to be executed. The death of Prince Omah had been brutal and unexpected. Who would post news stories about Katie Price now? He had cursed the cocky prince for showboating and wondered if death would be as instant and as painless as they said it would be. He knew his sister Josei would be relishing his final night on this planet.

Suddenly, Lord Vickys was at his cell and had opened the door.
"Why?" MTVyrioN had asked her.
"You are the only one who might yet save this forum from utter disaster." Vickys had whispered. "I'll meet you in an hour on t!nychat."
MTVyrioN stopped past Dezzywin Lezsister's room and had found him on the toilet.
Dezzywin had looked surprised when MTVyrioN bowled a cricket ball at his head and killed him instantly. MTVyrioN had also strangled Amy Jae to death because **** you that's why.

The chump and Lord Vickys met on the chat site and were in a group convo with the Swan Princess, Firewiria and Lucarion. Firewiria took some screen shots and MTVyrioN and Vickys decided to make their way to meet the Swan Princess in person.

[Ammi]

..I'm in such a rush but I'll read this epic-sode later after work, Z...but I know it'll be magnificent as always...

[Amy Jade]

Crying at the whole Lily/Saph/Livia scene

Thank you for including me Z

[Z]

Np

[Mokka]

Z... if we weren't both already attached to significant others... and if you weren't into men... I would propose to you rt now

this thread

[Ammi]

... bobnot Arryn and Jack_en from the house of pansexuals.....perfection......

[arista]

Great Writing Z.