[lostalex]

I think when people hear the question, should people more honest? they automatically think of things like... well should i be honest about your haircut, or should i be honest about your singing voice.. they automatically think of the negative things...

But honesty is not just about the negative things, and i do think that when you have a negative opinion of someone, especially if they are fragile people, it serves no purpose to be "honest" to their face...

but what about the other side of it...

What about all the times that we hide our honesty when it's positive. what about all the times that we really like someone, and really agree with their opinions, or really like their new haircut, and we don't say anything, what about all the times we think and feel really positive things about other people and we don't say them?

I know i feel very positive things about other people all the time, but i don't say them because i'm afraid i'll embarrass myself, or i'll be seen as a sycophant... but really, don't you think other people would really like to hear the positive things you think about them?

I think we need to start being more free and honest with people, because i know when it comes to honesty, it's usually the people i feel like i want to say something good about them to them that i stop myself more than the negative things, so i really think all people should be more honest and expressive with other people, because most times in all honesty we want to compliment people but we feel too embarrassed to actually give other people compliments.

I hate how people especially myself feels so embarrassed to tell someone else when i think they are awesome. why does it make me feel embarrassed to appreciate someone else?

is this just a male thing? maybe it's just a male ting because sometimes it seems women are able to compliment other females more easily.

But yea, i just hate how it seems in society now, we can't actually compliment each other openly.

[joeysteele]

Yes I think we should and a lot of really good points in your post Lostalex.

[smudgie]

Well I honestly think you are awesome Alex.

[Jamie89]

Yeah I get what you're saying. It's like on shows such as big brother, you always get really negative horrible people who are defended as 'just being honest' but when you have someone who's really positive and nice to everyone, they're labelled as 'fake' and 'arse kissing'.
We all have positive and negative views on other people and I don't think there's anything wrong in sometimes just highlighting the positive.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LiamBB

Yeah I get what you're saying. It's like on shows such as big brother, you always get really negative horrible people who are defended as 'just being honest' but when you have someone who's really positive and nice to everyone, they're labelled as 'fake' and 'arse kissing'.
We all have positive and negative views on other people and I don't think there's anything wrong in sometimes just highlighting the positive.

Yeah that's true Liam. It's like negativity is seen as truth and positivity is lies which is a pretty negative way at looking at it

[Ammi]

...yeah, I do agree Alex, I think it's important to let people know the great qualities about them as well ..even with a negative, like for instance at school..?..if you have to apply a sanction etc..it's also important to look for positives in that situation as well and to let the child know that, their action were great with those parts etc...

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by LiamBB

Yeah I get what you're saying. It's like on shows such as big brother, you always get really negative horrible people who are defended as 'just being honest' but when you have someone who's really positive and nice to everyone, they're labelled as 'fake' and 'arse kissing'.
We all have positive and negative views on other people and I don't think there's anything wrong in sometimes just highlighting the positive.

...you would make such a great mentor, Liam.....

[Ammi]

..if someone says..'I don't like your hair' though or some such thing, they're not really being honest, they're just being unnecessarily rude..the fact that, they might not genuinely like it, is irrelevant really...just say nothing at all or find something positive to say...

[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...you would make such a great mentor, Liam.....

Thanks Ammi

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..if someone says..'I don't like your hair' though or some such thing, they're not really being honest, they're just being unnecessarily rude..the fact that, they might not genuinely like it, is irrelevant really...just nothing at all or find something positive to say...

Yeah, the I'm just being honest line doesn't wash with me if there's no purpose behind that "honesty". The only result you get out of that "honesty" is to make someone feel bad

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yeah, the I'm just being honest line doesn't wash with me if there's no purpose behind that "honesty". The only result you get out of that "honesty" is to make someone feel bad

..yeah, they usually just don't care for someone and have no regard for their feelings...maybe even take pleasure in insulting them and making them feel bad..?../I think that's often the case in BB as well...

[LeatherTrumpet]

Us Brits cant be seen to be honest about things, that will not do. Hide your feelings, never compliment when we can apologise

the very nature of this vulgarity

I ask you

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..yeah, they usually just don't care for someone and have no regard for their feelings...maybe even take pleasure in insulting them and making them feel bad..?../I think that's often the case in BB as well...

Definitely because they're always only "honest" with the ones they dislike not their friends

[Z]

I think I'm more honest about my positive feelings than my negative ones - a lot of the time it's not really appropriate to air negative feelings - like work colleagues, you can't tell people your negative feelings about them because it's not conducive to a positive work atmosphere; whereas you're encouraged to be positive at all times by virtue of not being encouraged to be negative...

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by smudgie

Well I honestly think you are awesome Alex.

thanks Smudge