[MB.]

Kicking off the top ten and Finnishing (sorry) (so, so sorry) in tenth place...

#10



Points: 191

Highest from The X Factor

The story of Saara Aalto is a story that I genuinely can’t do justice to. I can’t do justice to the woman who came over from Finland and was treated like fodder, a joke, who was booed off stage at the six chair challenge and swiftly eliminated from the competition, who came back as a wildcard, somehow scraped through judges’ houses – presumably due to Sharon assuming that Saara would be a meat shield for Louis and Nicole’s twinks, because let’s face it, she’s only doing this gig for the totty – fell into the bottom three (not bottom two, may I add -glares at the producers-) in the very first week despite singing the socks off literally everyone bar Relley C, came back in week two only for the exact same thing to happen – this time with even more peril as the shit-for-brains judges took it to deadlock, by which point it looked utterly hopeless. And then she sang It’s Oh So Quiet. And things started to improve for Saara. Then she got through, and Halloween Week came around, and she got through again. But that was too much improvement for this show. They didn’t want her to become some kind of underdog or anything. So they stuck her in a comedy wig, made her straddle a cannon and got her to sing early noughties Girls Aloud, because that’s what musical integrity is, goddammit. Thankfully, it was at this point that the show realised that if they took her seriously, people may actually get behind her. And they did. She knocked No More Tears out the (MacArthur) park. She took it out on The Winner Takes It All. She shined in Chandelier. And she kept getting through. Round after round after round. The woman who came over from Finland only to be viewed as a joke was now in the final. And then… SHE WON YAY GO SAARA WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT YAY SANTA WOOOOOOOOOO the end. And then Pam Ewing woke up.