[T*]

Originally Posted by Shaun

Youtube video

'mild drug references'
-glares at dezzy-

[Shaun]

Female AI: Salutations, Europe.

Male AI: Good evening, ThisIsBigBrother.com Forums. We are what you humans once called "Rudolph and Augustine".

Female AI: Experimentations with silicone injections and other chemicals have resulted in an as-yet-not-hostile artificial intelligence hosting what remains of our bodies.

Male AI: Even with a corrupted memory, limited emotional capacity, and frankly inferior breasts to our human forms, we could not let TiBB Eurovision go unhosted.

Female AI: Whilst we try to locate the items known as "postcards", please, give it up for our first song of the evening. Croatia.

[Jøsh]

nnnn

[Jamie89]

Rudolph and Augustine with the Westworld promo

[Wizard.]

ROBOT RUDOLPH AND AUGUSTINE am dead

[Shaun]

Artist: Donald Trump
Song Title: F U Democrats

To the tune (and in the nature) of...

Youtube video

Donald Trump's answer song to Hillary's Tibb Xmasvision entry 'The Hate Will Go On'......


"F U Democrats"


You know there are two sides to every story


So I was, online,
I was browsing tibb,
And saw your vid, what a bitch!

Why'd you, post a song about me?
Your still salty that you lost,
It's not my fault I won,
I could feel the frost,
Coming off your tongue.


**** climate change, it doesn't mean jack,
**** you James Comey I don't want you back,
Transgender students, your views are wack,
We're low on oil, so **** you Iraq.

**** journalists, making me look bad,
**** Melania, she won't hold my hand,
The Muslim ban that I can't enact,
Well guess what yo, **** you Democrats.


You thought, I'd fail,
Well I'm still on my throne,
Makin' this White House a home.

Don't have to, turn to an intern,
Yeah I might deserve a slap,
And I might be smokin' crack,
But my party don't care and that's that on that.


**** the haters, they don't have the facts,
What russian involvement? you're on the wrong track,
**** pro choice the bible belt don't like that,
Hillary Clinton, **** you right back.

**** your health care, you shouldn't be fat,
Drag me on twitter, I'll drag you back,
**** the impeachment calls, not scared of that,
Well guess what yo, **** you Democrats.


You question, in 4 years,
Will I last that long?
Will my supporters still be there?

Well now you're over,
There's nothing left to say,
I don't care either way,
I can't complain coz I got my way.


**** the meetings, ain't got time for that,
Busy presenting alternative facts,
What would I do, without Kellyanne,
Well guess what yo, **** you Democrats.


You made me do this.

[Wizard.]

So relevant to current affairs amazing

Jamie right now

[Denver]

Jamie Trump

[Ronald.]

I don't know the original song but very relevant and on trend! Great stuff! R.

[Jamie89]

Thank you

[Shaun]

Female AI: Thank you, Donald Trump. Our sensors indicate that was both "satirical"... and... "political". Processing next song. Please show your appreciation for... Monaco.

[T*]

Bop by jamie!

[T*]

AI-gustine has crashed?

[Shaun]

For Monaco's biggest and boldest entry into the TiBB Eurovision Song Contest yet, producers planned to bring one of the greatest musical icons of our time out of retirement to represent them. Unfortunately, Samantha Mumba was unavailable, so they decided to pursue their second choice: a legendary singer and performer. But news is slow to reach Monaco, and it wasn't until late in the planning process that they were informed that Michael Jackson in fact died eight years ago. Thus, they had no choice but to call their only remaining hope...


[yes, that is actually the character from his avatar. I think]

Dezzy Rascal – "Banned"

To the tune of:

Spoiler:

Youtube video

[Dezzy makes his entrance by emerging from copious amounts of smoke. His hair somehow catches on fire during the process, prompting a crew member to climb on stage and extinguish the blaze. How very topical!]

the truth: [commenting from the side of the stage] did you know that men invented fire

[The music kicks in and Dezzy shows off some of his MJ dance moves, before quickly getting out of breath and taking a puff on his inhaler. Afterwards, he turns to a dartboard with a picture of the much-missed LeatherTrumpet’s face on it, the bullseye of which has been accurately hit each and every time. How odd.]

Your trumpet’s mine
You Scottish blight
Your leather spine
Didn’t last a night
[Dezzy then turns to a terrified crowd of Serious Debates & News regulars, probably wishing they had a safe space right about now]

I’m warning you
You shouldn’t bait
Or else you’ll meet
A similar fate
Shamone
[Shabnam from Big Brother 8 takes to the stage at this point, showing off the dance moves that she’s spent the best part of a decade rehearsing]

I’m giving you
A chance to see
Why you don’t mess
With a mod like me
[Dezzy wags his finger like the sexy headmistress he is at heart]

I’m telling you
I’ve sussed you out
I won’t listen
So
[Natasha Hamilton is wheeled on] YEH DON’T HAVE TEH SHOUT [Natasha Hamilton is wheeled off]

If I see another shit thread
About Madeleine McCann
Or a racist post on Brexit
Then I’ll slap you with a ban

Because you’re banned, you’re banned (really, really banned)
You know you’re banned, you’re banned
You know it (really bloody banned)
You know you’re banned, you’re banned
You’ve blown it (yes you’re really banned)
If you make a multi right about now
I’mma tell you once again
You’re banned
[Dezzy pulls a list of naughty TiBB members out of his G-string, like the sexy mall Santa he is at heart]

Let’s start with Alf
Who thinks he’s smart
Nothing rhymes with Alf
So let’s skip this part
Then Brillopad
Trying to impress
But I just blocked
His IP address
Remember that
Johnny paid the price
Since I’m the cat
And you’re the mice
[Dezzy licks the back of his hand and purrs a la George Galloway]

Now you see you're all pawns
In my bigger master plan
Just behave while I'm gone
'cause I’m off to Camber Sands
[Dezzy briefly pauses the song as his Uber driver mounts the stage, complaining that he’s been waiting outside for half an hour and he's running the meter up. After a brief dispute, they reach an agreement, Dezzy puts his suitcase in the boot and the car reverses off the stage, killing Shabnam in the process]

In the meantime, you’re banned, you’re banned (really, really banned)
So don’t take a stand, a stand
No, really (you’re actually banned)
While I’m off getting tanned, oh tanned
No, slightly (he gets more pink than tanned)
If you get your mum to send a shirty
e-mail to Josy then
You’re banned
[Dance break, by which I mean Dezzy breaks two hips and Natasha Hamilton's nose]

Now you quiver at my hammer
I see the fear that’s in your face
You can head to the TiBB slammer
Or I’ll ban you off to space

[Musical interlude, aka time to meet some common scum. First of all, Dezzy comes across a Victorian street urchin, played by Melissa McCarthy, stealing bread. "Please, sir, I am but an ‘umble Victorian street urchin, please do not ban me!" the Victorian street urchin pleads. "Banned!" bellows an uncaring Dezzy.]

[Dezzy then comes across a hot sexy woman, played by legendary thespian Sir Ben Kingsley, propositioning him with sex, which is now illegal for some reason. "Hello Dezzy I am hot sexy woman would you like to do the sex with me," the hot sexy woman growls. Dezzy does not give into his innermost desires and instead replies with a cold, hard "banned!"]

[Dezzy comes across Valentina. "This is a lip sync, we need to see your lips," Dezzy says, sternly but also very sexily. "I'd like to keep it on, please," Valentina whimpers, aware of the weight of Dezzy's bulging ban hammer. "Well then," Dezzy concludes. "I'm sorry my dear, but you're banned!"]

[Dezzy comes across Jermaine, Tito and LaToya Jackson, none of whom are supposed to be part of the performance. Security rush to the stage to remove them. "Actually, we find this all highly insulting to our brother’s legacy and would prefer it if you stopped immed-" the Jacksons begin, before being cut off by two words: "you're banned!"]

That’s right, you’re banned, you’re banned (really fucking banned)
Yes you’re still banned, you’re banned
Don’t moan bitch (how is this not clear already)
If you do I’ll extend your ban, your ban
To three months (four months if you’re bad)
I’ll ban the whole damn world anyhow
Bugger, here’s my Uber again
[the truth, having left whilst Dezzy was busy with all his ethnic movement, returns to the stage, now carrying a placard that reads “Wonder Woman? More like Liberal Cuck Safe Space Feminazi Man-Hating New Labour Snowflake Woman!” – having had to write very small to fit it all on]

Dezzy: Look, mate, I appreciate the craftsmanship, but I’ve got a song to finish here. Now, where was I?
the truth: it’s all killary’s fault
Dezzy: Oh yes, that’s right.

You’re banned!

[MB.]

Well done Jamie

My other choice was to write "Banned and Boozy", a parody of Bad and Boujee as sung by Johnny and Josy, so... yeah, that was almost a thing (there's a theme emerging here, I'm sure you can tell)

[Ronald.]

Oh my! That's so funny! Leather, what a good member I wish he'd come back! I was laughing at that one, well done! R.

[Babayaro.]

Really strong effort, MB

[Wizard.]

Dezzy Rascal I'm HOWLING and the Shabnam cameo :dead:

[MB.]

Ta all two of you <3

Edit: And Riley <3

[T*]

I've been slain
Shabnam was too, RIP

[Wizard.]

Originally Posted by MB.

Ta all two of you <3

Edit: And Riley <3

I thought it was Dezzys entry rofl well done

[MB.]

Originally Posted by T*

I've been slain
Shabnam was too, RIP

She truly was the people's princess And ta

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Riley.

I thought it was Dezzys entry rofl well done

Same! Ha ha! R.

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Riley.

I thought it was Dezzys entry rofl well done

Yes, I did fear that problem may arise

Dezzy's entry better be about me now, I swear to god

[T*]

It seems a bit quiet tonight, I do miss when there was like 50 people reading the thread at once and everyone would get a flood of compliments