[Z]

If anybody could give me some advice, it'd be great. I've been invited to a party tonight, it's only a small gathering, about 20 people going. The host used to be one of my best friends, but for roughly 3 years now, he just keeps on doing things that wind me up, annoy me, upset me, frustrate me and make me angry with him. A lot of this, is just my problem with the way he is, which isn't his fault. He doesn't know about most of the issues I have with him, he knows there's a problem, but I don't think he knows just how much I resent him sometimes. Should I still go? He annoyed me the other day by trying to chat up one of my female friends who's just moved to our school, I've known her for a long time, and she'd been going out with a guy for about 8 months, but split up with him a couple of days ago. He just annoyed me by trying to chat her up, when she was still really upset, but what was more annoying to me was that I'd told her about him before, and how much he irritated me at times, and yet she wasn't pushing him away either. Do you see what I mean, when I say a lot of what he does to annoy me isn't actually his fault, it's a problem I have? Anyhow, is it hypocritical for me to go to his tonight? Most of my friends are going (that's another one, he didn't invite one of our group, which was a bit bitchy.) and I'm feeling a bit put out by the whole thing.

[gracie24]

If you feel like going out tonight, then you should go. There are going to be other people there who you can socialise with and you can still have a good time without having to make much of a conversation with the host.
Definitely avoid confrontration with him for now because he's the host and such.
He's invited you and so he obviously does consider you a decent friend for him to invite to a small gathering.
I'd go if I were you, but only if you feel like it, don't go if you're not that sure because people don't like to be around other miserable people and you'd make it unfair on the other guests.
I do see where you're coming from but I reckon you should go and just have a good time and enjoy yourself and have a decent night out.
I wouldn't say your being hypocritical myself because it's so difficult sometimes to tell someone how you really feel especially when you find that they're your friend and everything they do starts to annoy you.
Maybe it's just a phrase you're both going through?

[KissyLittleMissy2]

I understand what you are thinking and I have experienced the similar circumstances - not a party, but an occasion whereby I have had to be in the same room as someone I really don't like and really doesn't like me either. I guess you have two choices really. 1. Go to the party and try to have it out with the person and make ammends, or 2. Just go there and be an actor and pretend to be nice to him, but really hate him but just don't let him know - I mean, it's only one day. There are other options available to you, but I would suggest these two Z

[Z]

Cheers gracie24, KissLittleMissy2, I feel I probably have to go, otherwise he will know something's up. I guess I can carry on as I am, and being nice enough to him. I don't think it's being two faced, because I'm not being mean about him behind his back, I just resent a lot of things he does.

[gracie24]

I'm in a similar situation myself
You're welcome anyways, if you do decide to go out, hope you have a good time

[KissyLittleMissy2]

Originally posted by Z
Cheers gracie24, KissLittleMissy2, I feel I probably have to go, otherwise he will know something's up. I guess I can carry on as I am, and being nice enough to him. I don't think it's being two faced, because I'm not being mean about him behind his back, I just resent a lot of things he does.

I am glad to have helped you. I understand your set of circumstances and if the pressure is really too much - then just leave it. But I wouldn't let one person stop you from going to the party, no matter how important he is to the party

[Jackie]

go to the party dont worry about a confrontation enjoy youself.

[Sunny_01]

Z - go to the party at the end of the day it is an opportunity to maybe remember some of the things that you like about your friend rather than the things that wind you up. He might do something that really makes you laugh at the party and do you want to miss that!!!

Also there are your other friends, do you want to miss out on a night with them? ask this guy if you can take along the pal that was not invited? worth asking it might have been a simple over sight on his part.

The great thing about friends (real friends) is that if you decided not to go he would totally understand, he might even ask if things are ok which might give you both the chance to really sit down and have a chat.

Try to remember all the reasons you ended up friends with this guy, remember why you like him so much at times then you might see things in a different light.

Whatever you do have a great night xxx

[Z]

Originally posted by Sunny_01
Z - go to the party at the end of the day it is an opportunity to maybe remember some of the things that you like about your friend rather than the things that wind you up. He might do something that really makes you laugh at the party and do you want to miss that!!!

Also there are your other friends, do you want to miss out on a night with them? ask this guy if you can take along the pal that was not invited? worth asking it might have been a simple over sight on his part.

The great thing about friends (real friends) is that if you decided not to go he would totally understand, he might even ask if things are ok which might give you both the chance to really sit down and have a chat.

Try to remember all the reasons you ended up friends with this guy, remember why you like him so much at times then you might see things in a different light.

Whatever you do have a great night xxx

I think I'm probably going to go. I just feel really, really bad about going, when I know that he'll just end up annoying me again, even if it's not tonight, and I feel I'm taking advantage. But I guess you're right, I mean, we've been friends for 4 and a bit years, and a lot of my other friends are going. Thank Sunny

[Z]

I went, and had a good time too

I took a bunch of pictures as well, but they're on my Bebo.

Thanks everybody =]

[Sunny_01]

glad you went and even happier that you had a good time, see all that worrying for nothing Z!!!