[Macie Lightfoot]

88. Scott Mason (BB13 - 7th Place)



I know some people like LemonJam absolutely looooove Scott but sorry, he does next to nothing for me and I don't think he should really be close to the top 100, let alone in the top 90! BB13 is really a dark horse for my fave series and I should rewatch it one day bc it's spectacular, but in a series of Insiders and Outsiders, Scott was floating along in the middle caught up in that weird Caroline/Becky/Scott vortex that I surprisingly have little to say about. I feel like many people hold Scott in high regard for calling Aaron a DISGUSTING RAPSCALLION and lashing out at him, but that was like a split second moment and Scott was a pre-final boot soooo that's a small pebble, not a big rock, ya know?

*My* personal fave Scott moment was the fact that despite being an inoffensive gay floater (a knock off Tom O'Connell, if you will), not only did he not even make it to the final, but he got beat by like 0.4% in a double eviction by ASHLEIGH HUGHES, who looks like a CGI extra from DreamWorks Animation's Flushed Away and that's more of an Ashleigh thing than a Scott thing sooooo sorry Scott!

[Macie Lightfoot]

81. Rachel Ifon (BB11 - 11th Place)



so I know I was #outed for saying that Rachel deserves having a final pass used on her, and I still don't disagree with that! But I'm not the one to do it lmao. I'm actually *SUPER* frustrated bc so many of my top 50 favos are getting taken out right NOW like Tim, Hira, Rachel, David, Nush, Jem, Sandy, Laura, and Alex, and I like Rachel a lot more than like ****ing Faye but whatever, that's for a whoooooole nother day. I don't even know what my point is, I'm just tired and frustrated.

So Rachel... BB11 was on my first series and it's pretty high in my rewatch/first watch queue (but it's competing against like... 16 and 17 which I have never seen before and 5, 6, 7, and 13 which would all just be fun to rewatch) so my memory is a little foggy. She was part of that ~spaceship intruder~ thing that was weird even as a first time BBUK viewer. She was friendly with Ben I think which is definitely a sign of good taste? She wasn't really shown much but then would get a loooooooooot of nominations and N-SPV which really is one of my fave archetypes as a reality contestant like ****, I'm one of the biggest supporters of Kelly Czarnecki in Survivor, UTRN is my thing. OH, and then there was the Charles Dickens Shopping Task (lmao) where Rachel and John James had to be MISS HAVISHAM or summat and John James threw a ****ing tantrum about having to cohabit the Task Room for a long period of time and Rachel was just all "" and rocked back and forth in her rocking chair sadly she only lasted about a month bc we couldn't have nice things in BB11 (even though it's still a better series than 10 and possibly 9?), but at least she did this on her way out!

[Macie Lightfoot]

69. Helen Adams (BB2 - 2nd Place)



I think BB2 is awful and the worse old school franchise (yes, worse than 4!) and Helen is...... okay! She's one of the better ones, but she really isn't that great? She invented the bubbly MORP idiot archetype that has seen winners through like Sophie and Josie, and I would have preferred if she had won instead of Brian? Her big storyline was her ~romance~ with Paul, which is huuuugely important in BBUK lore and is literally the only post-Narinder plot of BB2, and it's kinda cute until you remember that she had a boyfriend on the outside world and was more or less cheating on him!

But yeah, she was a nice presence in BB2 and at times she was a reprieve from the *let's go on and on about House Politics* vibe that Dean and Elizabeth et al put forth. Sometimes she got caught up in it, but her cute/stupid moments were enough to like... automatically put her in the top 5 of the season lol. I remember towards the end of the series there was a task where they had to use a pogo stick and she was AWFUL but she didn't give up and finally got it after like 45 minutes? It was cute

But yeah she's from BB2 and she's not Penny or Narinder so she's just okay at best. Definitely lucky to get all the way up to the anticipated #69 spot!

[Macie Lightfoot]

60. Sara McLean (BB13 - 4th Place)



I like Sara quite a bit actually! But only like... maybe top 100 level, and definitely not top 60 level! She was a lulzy random who floated in the middle of the Insider/Outsider divide and did a pretty good job at it since she came in 4th! I know most people remember her for her love of ~The Queen~ which was fine I guess? But I actually like Sara for other reasons! She was a lot of fun during Turf Wars (which seriously may be my favorite week of BBUK ever?) and I loooooved how she made a conscious effort to only sit on the blue side of the DR chair

Even though quite a few people criticize Sara was a fair-weather friend to Deana, which is definitely somewhat true... that still makes Sara one of Deana's better friends in the house? *My* lasting memory was when they were paired up in that office games task and had some secret mission to cheat and win all of the games and they were SOOOOOO obnoxious about it and pissed off every single person to not end I kinda need/want to rewatch BB13 so maybe I'm a bit off but that's how I'm choosing to remember that moment so And even though Sara definitely had some bizarre (ie conservative) political hangups, she still seemed like a pretty reasonable and rational person? She had remarkably good interpersonal skills for a BBUK Housemate bc she would actually hash out her issues with people and try to reach a resolution, so that's a good thing.

The bad things about Sara though... I think she kinda got caught up in the anti-Lauren stuff in the beginning and it was nagl? She kinda made up for it though so I don't hold it against her too much. But what I *DO* hold against her still is the obnoxiously nauseating "Will they or won't they?" with Arron that happened circa Week 3 I believe, because that **** is seriously the worst BBUK C-plot you all forgot about until now. Seriously dire.

[Macie Lightfoot]

48. Shabnam Paryani (BB8 - 20th Place)



Shabnam is....... okay lol but she's maybe #148 for me, not #48. She was one of the more obvious first boots on a show that almost entirely casts first boots, and she didn't fail to deliver on being ~entertaining~! She was "messy," a word that has lost meaning on this forum, she got in random arguments and **** like bananas, and she was a huuuuuuuge fame***** who had good intentions but was desperate beyond belief. This led to her having an iconic eviction where she danced on top of the stairs like a huge buffoon singing A TO THE A TO THE B TO THE B and dancing and accurately stating "I don't know what I'm doing"

Can you tell I don't have much to say about Shabnam? She was fun but like... she was a first boot and she wasn't particularly missed? The show didn't suffer from her loss so on a traffic light scale of like/dislike she'd register for me as like... a light green Again, top 150 for me probably but definitely nowhere near top 50.

[Macie Lightfoot]

32. Lesley Brain (BB8 - 21st Place)



This all would have been SO much easier if ****ing Aaron didn't get nominated and saved because you're damn right I would've cut his stupid ass. But here we are, I'm left with a write up for Lesley, someone who I actually love, but probably the least out of my figurative children left in the rankdown, and probably more like #52 instead of #32.

Lesley only lasted like 11 days so I feel like her time in the house is pretty well-documented but let's see... one of my internet friends called her the white female version of Derek Laud and that's pretty spot on? She had a sharp tongue and was sarcastic and acerbic beyond belief, and yeah it was mean sometimes but the comedy outweighed it like 100% of the time so who cares. She got in arguments with practically everyone in the house because she wouldn't hesitate to just hijack fights she wasn't involved in and tell people to SHUT THEIR MOUTHS just because she didn't like them like I said, she did this with everyone but her main target was EMILY for whatever reason #PiggyAtTheTable I actually found a list of Lesley-isms so here are some of my favorites:

-"But the difference between you and me is that I can afford to go to Harvey Nichols, it's one of the tragedies in life"
-"Those who shout the loudest will complain when we don't get much food"
-"My mother said this to me because she was the wisest woman to ever walk this earth - the root of problems is JEALOUSY"
-"May I just mention to you girls that that is something you are frightened of you can see, it is the things you cannot see that you should be most fearful of" (followed up by Laura's infamous " ie ghosts?!?!")
-"Are you *damn* stupid or something?!?!?! Ooh sorry, rhetorical!" (followed up by Charley screaming in Lesley's face and Lesley thanking her for her contributions )
"Show em up girl, stamp your foot!"
-*upon Emily's ejection while reading the laminate*" "and by the way this must be ready with no interruptions at all, this is a serious business for once, let's all listen!!!"
-"What plans do people have for the ghettos and the jode rolly pollys?"
-"Oh vanity, my lord! All this vanity! Lead me forth into the field and I shall die, give me a pineapple!"

Again, all of those were delivered in a week. Sadly, Lesley walked early into the second week because Seany was a twat and pulled her duvet cover from her and #exposed her or something, and even when Seany apologized Lesley REFUSED to accept it because he's awful so instead of accepting his apology she bequeathed her bed to Carole, and then I think it came to light after the show that Lesley just faked her whole personality just as an acting challenge or whatever, and I think that just makes me like her more? But ultimately I eliminated Lesley because I usually connect more with ~complex~ personalities rather than over the top ones, so sorry girl but your journey in the rankdown is sadly coming to an end x