[cujo-man]

Read this in another forum. Would say which one at the risk of getting banned.

Enjoy!

Why Big Brother 9 is going to be a smash hit ratings success

There is one reason why BB8 failed in the ratings. It isn’t increased competition from satellite tv programming, or fatigue with the BB format. The reason it failed was Brian Belo.

Every production team on all reality tv shows have agendas. Post-the OFCOM row, and post-Shilpa, the appetite from the BB team for a politically correct non-white winner was a mouthwatering prospect if they could achieve it. Seven previous BB’s have been dominated by white male winners, and with fresh helmanship for the 8th instalment of BB, the desire to set number 8 apart from its 7 forerunners was huge. A black winner was always going to be gold dust in PR terms, and a huge achievement on Rebecca de Young's CV.

BB6 was supposed to be Makosi’s year. Its no accident that she got secret task after secret task. Her first week task was actually to get as many nominations as possible – the viewing public would then actually sympathise with her if she behaved like a total arsch in an attempt to stay in the house, or would like her if she didn’t behave like an arsch (and in that case she would have been up, but would have been very unlikely to have been evicted).

Science failed because he was too ghetto/rapper to appeal to middle England. Makosi failed because she was bonkers. Vanessa failed because she was attached to an intravenous sedative drip. Derek was evicted because more people disliked him than disliked Eugene. Kemal failed despite electorally significant support from the sizeable Turkish cross-dressing community. BB6 was set up for a non-white winner, but as the competition dropped like fireflies, a clash of the titans between Ant “can a plant do a donkey hop?” Hutton, and Eu-dit-da-da-da-dit-gene emerged for an, erm, mouthwatering dream (Elm Street style) finale.

The lesson had to be learnt – to get a black winner you had to have someone to appeal to middle England. Men are more likely to win than women, and Shilpa had been an Asian female winner, so the fantasy BB sticker set would look better with a black male winner in the champions enclosure than a black female. In amongst the thousands who queued up, you were looking for a young black male with coconut properties. Zimbabwean Makosi was from an alien culture to the electorate, we just didn’t understand what on earth was going on (“Who is the real Makosi?”). We never really found out. Another Russell Brand conquest who went on to alternate hotel bedrooms with Faria Alam’s hourly charges? Science and Victor’s ghetto/gangster aspersions both isolated them from mass appeal. For BB8 to get a black winner, someone was needed from within the UK. Textbook was an Essex boy whose ideal hangout is Lakeside instead of d.a. g.h.e.t.t.o.

Big Brother queues of auditionees are dominated by the great unwashed. Auditions held on weekdays when people who can hold a job cannot come are always going to be UB40 heavy. X-Factor you actually (in theory) need a skill to get far. Same with almost any other audition. BB aren’t looking for Shayne Ward’s or Leona’s, they’re looking for Shahbaz’s and biggest-tats-in-uddezfeeld-Lesluh’s. You can make £8m from BB with a big gob and a dislike of minging verrucas. Nearly all auditionees are white. Nearly all are useless, and have nothing distinctive to offer at all.

In amongst the thousands who queued, was there one young black male, with a heart of gold, youthful innocence? Its always ideal to be a bit dim to appeal to the public, who will take to the Helens and Jades far more readily with affection than the cerebrally superior. Even if he wasn’t actually thick, maybe he would realise, maybe he would be advised, to play it dumb. Are there chickens in chickpeas? Is East Angular abroad? Did Sherlock Holmes use Mr Heinztein as an escape goat? Do women poo? At least we found out that, yes, indeed, women do poo. And we also found out that Politics Is Showbusiness For Ugly People. (© Gore Vidal).

Gerry had a perplexed look with Brian on the live feed. “Everyone else was in hiding for two weeks, but you were hiding for four?”. It didn’t add up to Gerry. What was it about Brian that had seen him in hiding for twice the length of time of the others, what was his importance, his significance, what marked out the young black male Essex boy in the immediate post-Shilpa fallout era from the rest of his housemates?

Derek/Kemal/Makosi/Vanessa/Science were all squad players, like having Berbatov/Defoe/Bent/Robbie Keane/Barcham as your striking power. BB8 learned the lesson of BB6, don’t bother with a few good’uns, make sure you sign a Shearer as your strikeforce. Jason Wilcox, Stuart Ripley, Mike Newell weren’t in the class of any of Spuds current crop of forwards, but they had to support Shearer, and they won the league. Brian was the heavyweight – absolutely text book, you could not have asked for a much stronger black contestant to appeal sufficiently to Middle Britain. If Brian couldn’t win BB, honestly, who on earth could? If not Brian, I don’t think it could ever have been done (barring having 24 black housemates).

The paramount aim was a black winner. There was the assumption, wrongly, that ratings would take care of themselves. Amongst the thousands of dreamers, one turned up who cut the mustard, with none of the ghetto, none of the rapping, an Essex boy with a fetish for Hollyoaks. If his mum was proud of him, maybe we could all be too.

I’ve put up on two other posts on here that BB8 was like Basic Instinct 2. White males, preferably with a regional vote (ideally scouse or Geordie) will win most reality tv shows. Leona had chasmically more talent than the incredibly limited Ray Quinn, but it took a Herculean effort to get her over the line against a default white male scouse pretty boy. Constant gushing comments, “best reality tv performance ever”, huge help with the draws towards the end of the shows, helpful vt’s, damaging comments given to her rivals (in particular nikitta), the help for Leona was in a similar vein to the transparent BBLB rabid support for Brian. Sharon Stone was an international sex siren for Basic Instinct, 16 years later she was a post-menopausal prune. Without Michael Douglas, Stone was the star of the show, the whole film was the Sharon Stone project. A once stunning 32 year old will look very plain at 48 against even modest-looking present day 32 year-olds. The solution was to pack the cast with a mix of even more ancient women (Charlotte Rampling) or unattractive women, and a male lead more Jimmy Nail than James Dean (David Morrissey).

Brian was the reason why so many electorally unfriendly housemates were chosen. Its incredibly difficult for a non-white contestant to have mass appeal, but not only do they have to have mass appeal, you CANNOT put them in with a Ray Quinn (young default scouser), a Steve Brookstein (mass housewife appeal, struggling for a better life for himself and his girlfriend), a Matt Willis, a Phil Tufnell, a Joe Pasquale, a Mark Owen, a Jack Dee. Anyone Caucasian heterosexual and male will appeal to the housewives, the grannies, the voting electorate. You can’t even have a Brian Dowling – every box ticked bar the heterosexual one, so you have to put in a limp Gerry as BB8’s pink housemate.

Every housemate was picked with Brian in mind. The Carole’s, Tracey’s, Laura’s, Nicky’s, Billi’s, none of them were ever going to have mass appeal. Even Charley was handled with sensitivity, saved from eviction despite receiving enough nominations to be up through “punishment” for discussing nominations. Each week she magically escaped somehow, to disbelief, even when she had enough nominations to be up, and when she couldn’t avoid being nominated, the “fake” eviction took place. There was only one line she could cross, one line where she would become surplus to requirements, and that line was if she ever kicked off with Brian. Supporting Emily over the ****** incident, then provoking Brian on the night she was dressed as a clown, she crossed the line, and was up and out at the next time of asking.

The dream for BB8 was the first ever black winner, complemented by the big big big sizzling summer showmance. Step forward Brian, then Chanelle, then Elimidate’s finest Zach Lig-man. Then sprinkle in a supporting cast without any other potential winners. The white male heterosexual contestants restricted to just 2 out of a cast of 24, with both Liam and Ziggy brutalised in the edit. Every negative thing Liam said was shown, his focussed, concise dignified destruction of Charley, on a par with anything Craig threw at Nasty Nick, received a few seconds of cursory footage in the highlights. Ziggy – “every year they make someone out to look like a d***, and this year its me”. Yep. For Brian to win, you could not put in any potential winners to rival him. In the end his closest challenge came from the non-descript pairing of the twins, who did almost nothing in the entire time in the house. If Brian had been caucasian, and the twins afro-caribbean, would it have been such a close battle in the final week? You might think that, I could not possibly comment.

There is a reason why Sky Sports News has presenters like Georgie Thompson, Alex Quinn, Millie Clode, Vicky Gomarsall, et al. Yes it’s the news in the erm sports world, but if you put BB8 Tracey as the main presenter, half the viewers would switch off.

Big Brother is a massive franchise. But you cannot avoid the golden rules. A show with a cast who looked like Georgie, Alex, Millie, Vicky et al will be infinitely more attractive to viewers than a show with Tracey, Carole, Shanessa and Kara-Louise. The BB production team forgot to give the public what they want, and a lot of what the public want is extremely good-looking people. If BB’s 1 to 7 had never happened, the importance of a black winner to complement the set would never have been anything like as weighty. Instead of being petrified of putting in a group of watchable, good-looking 20somethings, who might actually prove to be popular (and give you a repeat of BB3’s Kate v Jonny v Alex v Jade in the BB8 final), only Liam and Ziggy made it through, and both received lacerating edits.

The monkey is off BB’s back now. It has been done. Project Brian reached fruition, in a final fortnight whimper, voted on by the 2.8 million viewers left. Brian is a fantastic guy, but he was never short of grey matter, and was a credit to himself and the show. The problem was never Brian, it was the other 23 around him, selected to nurture him. That was the reason BB8 flopped. BB doesn’t live in its own bubble, if Bravo or VH1 launched a reality tv series starring Carole, Jonty, Tracey and Kara-Louise, would they have got any viewers at all? No.

In the tea leaves, BB isn’t dead, its slumbering. The production was often slick this year, but its totally wasted giving a silk purse of high production levels to the sow’s ear of housemates. We just didn’t care how Tracey or Carole reacted.

The key to BB9 getting back the 5.5 million viewers, which I think it can (and will) do, is to decide to forget every single previous series of BB. Pack it full of potential winners, people we care about. Make BBLB a level playing field, we don’t really want a “here’s a funny clip of Brian” section each show. Handle housemates with sensitivity, we can see past the one dimensional characters presented to us. That should have been obvious with Aisleyne’s popularity, which wildly outstripped the brutal edits she received, reminiscent of Bez’s invisibility in the second half of CBB, before winning anyway. Don’t decide to make Basic Instinct 2, make Basic Instinct. If we get another default white male heterosexual scouse or Geordie winner, sure its not ideal, but the chances are that 5.5 million people will have tuned in, not 2.8 million. No more Tracey’s, Jonty’s, Kara-Louise’s, Carole’s, BB fans would not tune into VH1 to watch these damp squib housemates, and viewing figures halved because they didn’t really want to watch them in BB either.

The ingredients are still all there, and I think BB9 will be a massive success, because I think they will realise that nurturing Brian was the reason why BB8 failed. Handpicking the winner cost millions of viewers, because other attractive housemates were deliberately edited out of the line-up to focus the show on to Brian. If they drop the editorial bias, and pick loads of attractive 24 to 26 year old hm’s, the public will watch. It’s the key, it always has been the key.

Good luck.


dj

[Harry!]

can you shorten that please!

[officialleafan]

I totally agree.

[cujo-man]

Heres the shortened version postandpollmand!

The reason BB8 failed was Brian Belo.

A black winner was always going to be gold dust in PR terms, and a huge achievement on Rebecca de Young's CV.

BB6 was supposed to be Makosi’s year.

Science failed because he was too ghetto/rapper to appeal to middle England. Makosi failed because she was bonkers. Vanessa failed because she was attached to an intravenous sedative drip. Derek was evicted because more people disliked him than disliked Eugene.

The lesson had to be learnt – to get a black winner you had to have someone to appeal to middle England.

In amongst the thousands who queued, was there one young black male, with a heart of gold, youthful innocence?

Gerry had a perplexed look with Brian on the live feed. “Everyone else was in hiding for two weeks, but you were hiding for four?”. It didn’t add up to Gerry. What was it about Brian that had seen him in hiding for twice the length of time of the others?

The paramount aim was a black winner. There was the assumption, wrongly, that ratings would take care of themselves.

Brian was the reason why so many electorally unfriendly housemates were chosen.

Every housemate was picked with Brian in mind. The Carole’s, Tracey’s, Laura’s, Nicky’s, Billi’s, none of them were ever going to have mass appeal.

If Brian had been caucasian, and the twins afro-caribbean, would it have been such a close battle in the final week? You might think that, I could not possibly comment.

The BB production team forgot to give the public what they want, and a lot of what the public want is extremely good-looking people. If BB’s 1 to 7 had never happened, the importance of a black winner to complement the set would never have been anything like as weighty. Instead of being petrified of putting in a group of watchable, good-looking 20somethings, who might actually prove to be popular (and give you a repeat of BB3’s Kate v Jonny v Alex v Jade in the BB8 final), only Liam and Ziggy made it through, and both received lacerating edits.


In the tea leaves, BB isn’t dead, its slumbering. The production was often slick this year, but its totally wasted giving a silk purse of high production levels to the sow’s ear of housemates. We just didn’t care how Tracey or Carole reacted.

The key to BB9 getting back the 5.5 million viewers, which I think it can (and will) do, is to decide to forget every single previous series of BB. Pack it full of potential winners, people we care about.

The ingredients are still all there, and I think BB9 will be a massive success, because I think they will realise that nurturing Brian was the reason why BB8 failed. Handpicking the winner cost millions of viewers, because other attractive housemates were deliberately edited out of the line-up to focus the show on to Brian. If they drop the editorial bias, and pick loads of attractive 24 to 26 year old hm’s, the public will watch. It’s the key, it always has been the key.

Good luck.

[Redmond]

Don't agree at all, they tried to engineer it for the Twins to win.

The reason BB8 failed was because it had crap housemates, crap twists and crap tasks. Nothing gelled, nothing stood out, nothing to set it apart from previous series.

[SHAUNi-OX]

brian was the reason everyone watched it accprding to the public

[officialleafan]

I hated Brian, he was soooo anoying. The twins should of won.

[cujo-man]

Originally posted by SHAUNi-OX
brian was the reason everyone watched it accprding to the public

Not really!

He actually did some of the least in the house.

One thing that annoyed me about the Brian and Charley argument was that Channel 4 tried to paint it up as this great moment where Brian the "hero" stood up to Charley.

The tried to make it seem like it was the argument of BB. But in fact I think the one that really spoke to people was Gerry and Charley's first argument. The crowd were screaming "GERRY, GERRY, GERRY" after it. Also I thought Brian provoked the argument more than Charley. In my opinion Charley was jsut having a normal conversation and then Brian blew up on her.

The reason- his game plan. He wanted to be known as the HM that stuck up to Charley, so when he saw the chance to argue with her and make himself look like the victim he took it!

[officialleafan]

He was also very nasty to Gerry for reason. And was very selfish...in my opinion.

[KKBL]

actualy i agree and im glad BB8 went the way it was not because i wanted Brian to win but because its the only way(imo)that we can have a BB5 BB9!!

[cujo-man]

Originally posted by officialleafan
He was also very nasty to Gerry for reason. And was very selfish...in my opinion.

I agree completely.

The night it really hit me how bad Brian was, was when Gerry and Jonty were going to the Diary Room to tell BB that Carole was coming, and Brian started shouting "Oh look, the 2 wise men" or whatever it was, just to impress Liam and Ziggy.

I think Brian was lucky to be with nicer people than most years as he just goes with the crowd. If he had gotten into BB7 he would have conformed with the plastics and would have slagged and bitched as much.

I think this time next year, Brian will be considered one of the worst BB Winners ever!