[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I don't know if this is true Ammi or how you're defining it but maybe I've missed something; from my perspective, I don't think anyone here knows enough about Brillo as an individual for it to be true that "awful and grim" personal things have been said to her? Literally all I know is that she's English, female and old enough to have teenage children . If other people know more than that and have used personal information to attack her then that is indeed a problem.

If on the other hand, all you mean by "personal attack" is the times that she has been accused of prejudice... I personally don't see how that is outwith the scope of a normal heated adult debate. It's certainly not anything beyond other comments that are often thrown in all directions on here. To use examples from both sides for balance; I've been accused of "being a snowflake" and also "being a misogynist trying to mansplain". I've also had direct jibes made about scant real-world information that IS available about me on here - namely my sh*tty job - made by more than one person, that I would say are far more personal in nature than a post being considered to be racist?

But yes, I would genuinely like to know what it is that's so far over the line as to be considered especially awful. I believe when this has come up in the past, the general idea has been that it's awful "because loads of people are saying the same thing"... but in my opinion, several people individually sharing the same opinion has absolutely nothing to do with "ganging up" or "getting personal".

..so I’m going to zip right over some of your post and completely ignore it, TS......but because I realise in reflection that discussing Brillo was unfair to her..and I apologise to her for doing that...so I’m just going to zip along from that...

...you’ve branched my thoughts out quite a bit though I have to say...you mention ‘adult discussions’...?...and then of some negative personal things which have been said to you because of personal information disclosed..(..I’m so sorry to hear that...)...the internet is a strange place in that when we do disclose about ourselves in the way of explaining etc or for other reasons or just giving out personal information etc...we’re not only disclosing to our closest friends...(..which is what we have a tendency to do in real life...)...we’re disclosing to strangers essentially and also ‘our closest enemies’...(...and most of us have those..)..also obviously to people who can become generally irritated by our opinions on any given day...anyways...

...let’s move on to ‘mansplaining’...because I have to ‘disclose’......that’s a word I haven’t heard before so you had me googling...that then led me to reading a few articles..and to cut it short a little, one article stated that ‘label’ derived from a feminist author...who at a party, had a man explain to her the meaning of her last book...so she had coined the mansplain thing ..so rather than think..oh, that’s interesting to have a male perspective which is a positive thing..she had felt it a negative and completely dismissed an ‘opinion’ by putting a label on it...You’re a man/I’m a woman/you explain and capture my attention/I explain etc and we both absorb and listen, isn’t that the way it all goes down..and ooops, along came a label called mansplaining...which is just quite bizarre...anyways, going back a bit more to the topic...I’m assuming that you didn’t feel the mansplain label type thing being something that you are and indeed an incorrect perception of you and I’m assuming that you felt quite negatively about it being attached to you...maybe being attached because of how you post, the things you post about etc...?...all of this is just assumptions for the sake of the discussion as it were...but is that not the same thing or a similar thing to attaching any ‘ist’ label...in that we don’t really know a person from their opinions and how they express those opinions in internet land in the same way we would know a person in real life and more where their opinions And beliefs derive from...I mean, yes we can only go by someone’s words that are typed, so we’re all entitled to ‘label’ with those words...but does that labelling actually progress anything in the discussion for either ‘side’...is it helpful in any way or is it hindering...like the feminist author I guess, she closed her ears from a perspective that had validity and just went in with that mansplaining thing in dismissal...hmmm, I’m not sure I’m completely on board with the thought process of ..if an ‘ism’ is accused of you, then it’s your responsibility to disprove, either...just because in that disproving or explaining as it were, that person might have to disclose something personal about themselves..maybe a childhood environment that has instilled or specific life experiences...which, then makes me think about what you have said about personal stuff and how it can be ‘used to hurt’...just the last thing to say really is that you ‘mansplain’ so well and so thoughtfully, TS.. that you often get my thoughts running off in many directions...(...the tricky bit is getting them all back together again to concentrate focus...)...