[Denver]

Originally Posted by _LucasMichael_

He thought Lisa was a good housemate, he needs help.

She was a phenomenal housemate

[Babayaro.]

Lisa was AWFUL. I have no idea how she managed to stay until Day 90, seeing as she managed to suck the fun out of everything. A truly crap housemate

[Black Dagger]

Her only highlight was nearly being poisoned by Sree.

[Denver]

My sister is Facebook freinds with her

[Macie Lightfoot]

Originally Posted by Babayaro.

Lisa was AWFUL. I have no idea how she managed to stay until Day 90, seeing as she managed to suck the fun out of everything. A truly crap housemate

Freddie, Marcus, and Siavash sucked the fun out of everything when they pointlessly broke rule after rule after rule just to grab for some screentime.

[Babayaro.]

Freddie/Marcus/Siavash's rule breaking > Anything Lisa done

She was totally miserable. I liked her for about 5 minutes and that was on launch night

[Jake.]

"I'd shag all of girls aloud, minus the ginger one" made me wretch

[Babayaro.]

"I'm just sad about Michael Jackson"

Lmfao

[reece(:]

I don't get how over 3/4s of these can be funny

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by reece(:

Marcus

Originally Posted by reece(:

These can't be his best quotes

If they are I overrate his one liners.

Originally Posted by reece(:

I don't get how over 3/4s of these can be funny

whatisthetruth.gif

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Adam.

She was a phenomenal housemate

Okay now you need banning from watching TV

[Marsh.]

"Please welcome your host..... Emmmmaaaaa Willliissss!!!!!"

[reece(:]

Originally Posted by Jack_

whatisthetruth.gif

I liked him but these quotes are a poor selling point

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Jake.

"I'd shag all of girls aloud, minus the ginger one" made me wretch

It made all of girls aloud wretch.

Minus the ginger one.

[LukeB]

I warmed to Marcus on my re-watch but I only watched 2 weeks of it and gave up

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by kma

Admin deleted. No Insults. Posting ban if repeated.

An iconic quote

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Babayaro.

Lisa was AWFUL. I have no idea how she managed to stay until Day 90, seeing as she managed to suck the fun out of everything. A truly crap housemate

TBF she would have left earlier had BB not switched to vote to save the week she was up...sacrificing Hira instead

[LukeB]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

TBF she would have left earlier had BB not switched to vote to save the week she was up...sacrificing Hira instead

Classy Hira > Lisachav

[Babayaro.]

Originally Posted by Jack_

whatisthetruth.gif

Oop

[empire]

; LET' HIM' WHO' HAVE' UNDERSTANDING', RECKON THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST; FOR' IT' IS' A' HUMAN' NUMBER', ITS' NUMBER IS SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX, Marcus should of won it, he will always be a bb legend.

[Epic.]

Added by popular demand

Originally Posted by Epic.

Earlier today, you and Sree had an argument whilst doing the shopping list. Big Brother spoke to you about the language that was used in that conversation, but in that conversation Marcus, Big Brother was clearly reminding you of using people's cultural background in a derogatory manner. The formal warning relates to the argument between you and Sree in the garden, not the argument you had when you were doing the shopping list. Marcus, is there anything that you would like to say?
Marcus: Yeah you're talking ****. That's double standards and complete wank. I'm sorry but that is complete wank. I was sitting there, I was the recipient of him--WHAT SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IF SOMEBODY GETS OUT OF A CHAIR--IF I GET OUT OF A CHAIR AND GO UP TO YOUR CAMERA AND GO 'UUUUGH' LIKE THAT, that is not as aggressive as sitting there minding your own business saying to someone 'If you're going to do something then, don't just talk about it, you do it' HOW is THAT--you're just talking absolute bollox I'm sorry but think about it think about the words I'm saying, are we talking in different languages? I get up like this, I come up to you 'UUUUGH' like that and someone's sitting down like 'Alright, do whatever. Go on make me' like that, the only reason you're saying that is cause I'm BIGGER than him! And that's almost like a race thing or an ageist thing or a sexist thing! That is absolute bollox!
...Marcus, your age, race and size has nothing to do with this--
Marcus: --BOLLOX, size definitely does.
Earlier today, you said to Sree and I quote 'And when we get outside, then say it then. Say it when we're outside. Don't say a single more thing when we're in here. Let's see if your so brave, Let's see if your so brave outside.'
Marcus: Yeah? Exactly.
Big Brother is in no doubt that this language is threatening.
Marcus: No see, that's you second guessing what i'm thinking. I explained to you what exactly was going through my mind when I said that. When I say it to him when he's outside, he's not gonna say a single thing. Now I haven't got a single thing in the world to gain by smacking around a lil pissant like that. Like, as I said to other people, I could kill him, really honestly kill him with my EYEBROW if I wanted to. There's a million billion people out there, who need a smack. I've never HIT anyone like that in my entire life, and I probably never will. I've got nothing to gain, even by acknowledging his existence outside this house. He has to come in here and you have to watch it like that and play his little game, because he's in here ****ing hours and hours a day, bloody crying and pissing in his pants about anything that he can get a bit of sympathy about, and it's obviously worked. So SHAME ON YOU for falling for his absolute stupid pathetic transparent little plans, just to come in here and make us all look absolute idiots because that's what he's doing and you're falling for it and it's just... offensive, and it's just spoiling every single thing that your show is supposed to stand for. So you need to grow a pair, and get him in here and say 'Look, it's not all about you, you lil ****er, there ARE rules in this place you know what I mean?' And make a ****ing precedent and then hopefully, people watching can get something positive from it instead of always fawning to little pissant wankers like that spoiling everything that society has, like, going for it.
Marcus, Big Brother treats all housemates equally--
Marcus: --Bollox ABSOLUTE bollox and this is proof of it.
Marcus, Big Brother's decision is final. The diary room door is now open.
-Marcus leaves-
Oh well done my FACKING tea is gone cold now you stupid wankers!

[Epic.]

-Bea and Marcus have come to the diary room-
Bea: I would like to exchange my token for alcohol this evening please.
Big Brother is happy to exchange your token this evening if you could put that in the slot in front of you.
Bea: Thank you very much Obviously Marcus wants to have a chat with you, enjoy that But it would be great if it could come while Marcus is still in here cause he's likely to be here a while, y'know what he's like Excuse me, Marcus -gets off chair-
Thank you Bea if you could just place your token in the slot. The diary room door is now open.
Bea: Enjoy
Marcus: I shall.
-Bea exits diary room-
How are you Marcus?
Marcus: I've been better.
In what way have you 'been better'?
Marcus: In a way that before the eviction result was read out, I was happy and now I am not so happy.
And why is that?
Marcus: Because you locked me in a house full of fucking idiots like that one that just walked out the door. -points at Bea-
Can you explain to Big Brother what it is that you're particularly worried about with Bea at the moment?
Marcus: I'm not worried about anything with Bea the woman's a fucking idiot. That's it. Look how selfish she is. Every single thing, every single little thing that crops up in this house: (imitates Bea) "Ohhh but what about ME AWW MEE ME-ME-ME AWW that person's doing THIS that person's doing THAAAT Me Me Me Me Me " ...Pretty much everyone else is just bumlickin each other because they're getting close to the end. It's just Bumlicks, and I hate Bumlicks. I don't wanna be stuck in a house now where every single person now is a Bumlick. With maybe the exception of Lisa.
And how do you intend to cope with living in a house with... these housemates?
Marcus: I have no idea. I think I might just smash your poxy lil cardboard house to its foundations. How about those fucking apples?

[Epic.]

Seeing as I've got past his eviction, here's a chunk of true gems many people seem to forget :

Bea: -to Marcus- DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW -storms off into bathroom-
Marcus: -turns to Charlie- ...Were we not having a nice talk about Girls Aloud till she came in?

After David has to guess between 4 women to find out which one is Marcus' mum:
David: She was quite short, very nice hairstyle, blondish.
Marcus: Hm?
David: Is she quite short Marcus? What size would ya say she is in clothing?
Marcus: Very small and skinny.
David: I think I've got it then.
Marcus: Load-a WANKERS bringing my mother in. She should be doin some FACKING work somewhere. Skiving off work the lazy bastard! This is HILARIOUS OLD MINGEBAG.

Bea: Marcus what would you do if I just went and stole your drink from your drawer?
Marcus: I WOULD PISS ON YOUR HEAD WHILST YOU SLEPT.

Bea: MARCUS? WE'VE GOT MAGAZINES IN. WITH THINGS ABOUT US. THERE'S AN ARTICLE SAYING: 'FREDDIE something-something BONKERS BEA?'
Marcus:
Bea: BONKERS BEA?
Marcus: BASTARD BEA.
Bea: I'M NOT BLOODY BOOONKERS.
Marcus: BASTARD BLOODY MINGEBAG ARSEHOLE FACKING ARSEHOLE BEA.

-Marcus is in the diary room-
Marcus, who do you think will be evicted tonight?
Marcus: Could Not Give A Fuck... That is who I think will be evicted.
......If you were to be evicted tonight, do you think the house would be lacking anything next week?
Marcus: Obviously? The irrepressible fucking dark horse. This programme would go to shit, it would go from FIVE stars to HALF a star in a matter of... 10 seconds! Because as soon as I've done my bloody interview with Davina McCall, people will have NO further reason to switch on their television sets on Channel 4 at 9 o'clock.
Could you elaborate on what 'the irrepressible dark horse' brings to the house?
Marcus: He brings wit, humour, rugged good looks, athleticism, grotesque muscularity, he washes plants, he changes bins, he does washing up, he sleeps in the corner, he whistles, he makes crude and ill-witted jokes, he has superior fashion sense, beautiful sideburns and lovely long hair, he's generous, benevolent, heroic, MACHO--
Anything else?
Marcus: Plenty of other things but You Don't Not Got The Time to listen to them all. Oh Hell No Not Neither. The irrepressible dark horse... the hundred percent man... the ULTIMATE Z-list celebrity....

-Most of the housemates are in the living room, talking about Bea-
Sophie: She's really got nice eyes and stuff.
Lisa: Yeah she's a pretty girl.
Marcus: I didn't think she was pretty? I don't think she was pretty not at all! I didn't think she was? I think she looked kinda weird...
Sophie: Marcus that's a horrible thing to say about someone
Marcus: SHE DID. She got like long arms like a... plant. C'mon, she had big massive legs and a REALLY skinny long trunk and big long arms -stretches arms out-
Rodrigo: No Marcus she was very pretty she had very nice smile.
Marcus: She's a PUPPET.
Siavash: Marcus leave the girl alone please.
Marcus: She looked like a facking puppet...

Charlie and Siavash: *argue in front of Marcus*
Marcus: *walks outside* There's only one thing to do in this situation... *points forward*
David: ...graveyard shift?
Marcus: The fucking graveyard shift Listening to that fucking cack all night *sulks off to corner with duvet*

Hello Marcus. Big Brother has called you to the diary room to give you the opportunity to win some money towards the winner's prize fund.
Marcus: Mmm...
Marcus, Big Brother will add Ł10,000 to the prize fund if you allow one of your fellow housemates to cut off your ponytail.
Marcus: FUCK. Off.
Is that your final answer Marcus?
Marcus: Yes. Cram it up your Scabby Fat Arse.
Marcus, Big Brother is prepared to up the offer... to Ł11,000 how does that sound?
Marcus: SHIT...it's not gonna happen so just open the door.
Ł12,000, Marcus?
Marcus: Boring... One, Million, Pounds
How about Ł13,000, Marcu--
Marcus: --How about one million pounds and a popular German sports car?
Marcus, would you prepared to allow one of your fellow housemates to cut off your ponytail for Ł13,000??
Marcus: Foooor one million pounds and a popular German sports car!
You drive a very hard bargain Marcus. But, Big Brother will offer you Ł14,000 towards the prize fund in exchange for your ponytail.
Marcus: One. MILLION. Pounds.
Marcus... Big Brother's FINAL offer is...... Ł15,000.
Marcus: I will say it now... I want you to listen very carefully so there's no mix-up... You can Go. And Get. Fucked.

This is Big Brother, w--
Marcus: --OHH SHUT THE FUCK UP YA GREAT BIG BASTARD.

You must create an effigy of Big Brother using this recycling...
Marcus: Oh that's easy you could just draw a pile of faeces...

Davina: A lot of people were offended by your attitude, in particular I think towards women. I mean, with the Big Brother men you were one way but with the Big Brother women sometimes it was a bit below the belt because, just made me a bit uncomfortable. What would you say to that?
Marcus: It's bollocks.

'I wonder how many women pretend their husbands are ME when they have sex with them!'

'I think I could pretty much eat a brick and my stomach acid would dissolve it.'

Marcus: -reads instructions- 'The strong men and women must pull a truck with approximately 4 tonnes?' That's NOTHING I could do that with my bell end

[Babayaro.]

'I think I could pretty much eat a brick and my stomach acid would dissolve it.'

Bye

[Tony Montana]

Originally Posted by Babayaro.

Bye

That one killed me!