[Ammi]

...why did the tree fall down..?...

Spoiler:

..it thought it was an elephant...

[Ammi]

...I laughed...

[The Slim Reaper]

Ammi can you please stay on topic? This is a thread for jokes.

[AnnieK]

I laughed too Ammi.....Matthew will love those jokes.

His favourite joke is "what is brown and sticky"

Spoiler:

a brown stick

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by The Slim Reaper

Ammi can you please stay on topic? This is a thread for jokes.

Is that why you are here

[The Slim Reaper]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Is that why you are here

...and suddenly everyone is a comedian

[Kate!]

Ah haha. Love the stick joke. Isn't that one of Niamhs favourites too I think.

[Alf]

My Bonnie Tyler voiced Sat nav is rubbish, it keeps telling me to turn around and every now and then it falls apart.

[Alf]

Did you hear about Sophie Ellis Bextor dying at the home of a footballer? Everybody is saying it was murder on Zidane's floor.

[Alf]

What do you call a dog with 2 cocks?

Spoiler:

N-Dubz

[Alf]

How come U2 still haven't found what they're looking for?

Spoiler:

Because the streets have no names

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Alf

What do you call a dog with 2 cocks?

Spoiler:

N-Dubz

[Dogeatdog]

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa?"

"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter.”

"Thanks Dad!”

"No problem Alan"

[Dogeatdog]

The Chip shop I go to still wrap up meals in newspaper.

Yesterday I got a Plaice in The Sun.

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Big Evil

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa?"

"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter.”

"Thanks Dad!”

"No problem Alan"

Very good

[Dogeatdog]

People often say "icy" is the easiest word to spell and looking at it now, I see why.

[Beso]

My m8s granny (called eta) on the father he hated sides, ended up being abused by her 50 yr old son (he was a single child to an extent)..he had been nicknamed tarzan for years and years. He had lived with eta since birth as he was etas own child..


however.......my mates dad was in a family with 13 children so was offoaded with 4 of his brothers to live with eta and tarzan.


Anyway years down the line it came out tarzan who was still living at home, just him and his mum did this....swept under the carpet but that's shame for you..but my mate told me on the same day as that volcano erupted......

So I blurted out, as we were both on acid or exstacy....probably both.....


What's the difference between tarzan and a volcano?

A volcano gets called mount etna, but tarzan just mounts eta.


Took us hours to come down from that one.

[Beso]

I was in a restaurant in Paris and ordered the 'Napoleon Chicken.'

When the dish arrived, I was surprised to find very little meat on it, and it was mainly carcass.

I asked the waiter why, and he said 'We only use the 'Boneypart'

[Beso]

Just saw a dyslexic yorkshireman wearing a cat flap.

[Dogeatdog]

Got asked the time by a Yodel delivery driver earlier.

I told him it was sometime between 8am and 6pm.

[Beso]

Ammi..

I wish I could be bothered to make my tartan paint punchline joke..but it's way way to long...and late

I enjoyed yours and will go to sleep smiling about it.

[Dogeatdog]

You can't spell advertisements without putting the ‘semen’ between the ‘tits’.

[Beso]

Originally Posted by Big Evil

You can't spell advertisements without putting the ‘semen’ between the ‘tits’.

I shall use that on Tony tomorrow morning, first thing...

[Dogeatdog]

Originally Posted by parmnion

I shall use that on Tony tomorrow morning, first thing...

[Dogeatdog]

Never trust an Electrician with fuzzy hair.