[Jason.]

remember when this was a pub quiz

[Will.]

Originally Posted by BB6

remember when this was a pub quiz

tragic times now.

[Ross.]

Originally Posted by BB6

remember when this was a pub quiz

Remember when this was a supermarket bargain thread

[Jason.]

Originally Posted by Ross.

Remember when this was a supermarket bargain thread

Remember when this thread wasn't a thread

[Will.]

Originally Posted by BB6

Remember when this thread wasn't a thread

remember when you weren't a member

You're one of my faves!

[Jason.]

Originally Posted by Will1999

remember when you weren't a member

You're one of my faves!

No.

and ofc I am, I'm a delight ilu2

[Jason.]

I killed Lucy Beale

[Will.]

Originally Posted by BB6

I killed Lucy Beale

have a read of Norah and Kathy's OK! interview, top of the page.

[Will.]

Hostage terror comes to a tragic end!

The hostage situation in Will's supermarket has come to a tragic end as two more victims have been killed by psycho Nevett.

Valerie tried to make a run for it but unfortunately tripped over one of Maureen's dildo, Nevett run towards her.

Valerie said: "Come on then you ugly bitch! Do you worst".

Nevett then proceeded to dragging Valerie and chucked her out of the third floor window in which Valerie landed on regular customer Dee.

Doreen frantically run up to Nevett and bit Nevett's neck and called her a "psycho bitch", Doreen pushed Nevett over and shoved a dildo in mouth. This allowed for Doreen to escape.

Maureen and Jale were left scared as they were held hostage.

Incase you forgot Janice is the owner of the Mulberry fashion outlet and was posing for the latest issue of Zoo during the hostage, she heard Nevett coming towards the shop and proceeded to put her make up on as she didn't want to die looking like a tramp.

Nevett then shot Janice, and she sadly passed away.

By this time Beryl had enough as "she doesn't take no ****," She run after Nevett and said that if she stops the killing she will sleep with her, Nevett loved the idea.

International suppa star Toya Washington (daughter of Valerie) stormed into the building a told Nevett that she's "a nasty white bitch who can rot in hell, hurricane Toya is here." Toya kicked Nevett in the head and said "If you ever kill someone from my family again I will go ghetto on you and make LaDaysha looks like Kate Middleton."

Beryl pulled out a huge shovel and proceeded to smacking Nevett around the head with it, calling her "a skinny white trash bin person".

Nevett was left unconscious and Beryl, Maureen and Jale escaped.

[Daniel-X]

Nevett's reign of terror over? Will the supermarket ever recover? Is Toya here to stay?

[Will.]

Originally Posted by Daniel-X

Nevett's reign of terror over? Will the supermarket ever recover? Is Toya here to stay?

Nevett to return for a third time?

[Will.]

Nevett has been arrested and sentenced to 10 mins in prison due to her age of 124.

[Will.]

Norah and Kathy are well excited for the Celebrity Big Brother launch.

Kathy: "Time for some orgasms over Jenna"

Norah: "Looking forward to seeing mother queen Sherrie".

[Will.]

BREAKING: 2 new employers will be unveiled today!

[Will.]

Veronica joins Will's supermarket as a stripper!

Veronica is the latest employer at Wills Supermarket, daughter of Doreen and Gina (before Gina undertook transgender surgery - you might not remember Gina).

Veronica has never got a long with Doreen after Doreen caught Veronica sticking a cucumber up her fanny whilst at the bus stop.

Veronica is one fierce bitch that really knows what she wants in life, she's had an on/off relationship with Jale and regularly looked after Jale's 13 bitchy children - she would take them to contraception expect Maureen for sex talks.

Veronica is obsessed with waffles, confessing she loves "sticking them everywhere."

Veronica use to be a porn star and worked with Kathy and Norah in their X rated films, they were a huge hit back in the day that even Jenna Jameson appeared in one.

Veronica loves cock and will do anything for it, saying "The cock is mine, LaDaysha better watch out, if someone gets in the way of my cock, I will batter them down with 2 tones of waffles like hurricane waffle."

Veronica has now joined Wills Supermarket as a stripper after being crowed winner of Blackpool's next top model which was a local competition run by 3 people from an old peoples home who were blind.

Veronica will perform in the supermarket cafe at 11:30pm.


Veronica is also a frequent nudist and loves nothing better than walking around nude whilst listening to Susan's Boyle's music.

Veronica is also obsessed with cats, and shoves them down her pants so she is never without them.

[Daniel-X]

Elroy Williams SACKED from Will's supermarket after slap happy video appears on Priestbook

Elroy Williams today was sacked from Will's supermarket after a video appeared on Preistsbook of him and Danielle McMaryMagdalaneMahon attacking a Jehovah's Witness. The video sees the pair savagely attack a Jehovah's Witness after they offered them a leaflet. Screams can be heard from McMahon who screams 'GET SOME BLOODY CLASS YOU EH WEIRDO MAN' while Elroy screams 'IF YOU CANT LOVE JESUS HOW THE HELL YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE'.

The video was leaked by a user named 'JemimaSlade17' who gave a live report and a blog on her views on the tragic events. A petition was then launched to sentence Danielle to live in a room with Helen Wood for a month. The petition managed to get 1 million signatures and saw Danielle shipped to Bolton to live with Helen who would terrorise her for her stay. Transgender Elroy appeared on late night magazine show 'Tonight with Liz Jones' to explain his actions however Elroy's interview was cut short after RuPaul sued him for copyright after using his catchphrase and appeared to shove a stiletto shoe into Elroy Williams throat.

Today in front of the press Will released the following statement 'I do not condone Elroy's attacking of the person in the video and he has been sacked with immediate effect. I hope that everyone can still manage to get down to my supermarket today while we have baked beans on offer thank you'

[Will.]

Daniel is providing some big news today...

[Will.]

Baked Beans offer: 6 cans for £2


tragic news...

[Will.]

BREAKING: Rumours that Nevett has entered the store...

[Daniel-X]

NEVETT EVANS FINAL ACT OF REVENGE

Just when Will's supermarket thought they were safe Nevett Evans today acted out her final act of revenge. Police were called to the supermarket after tourists heard 'I want it' by Chanelle Hayes being sung by workers of the supermarket and at first the suspected crime was that the workers were trying to deafen tourists. However, when police entered the building a cruise ship had actually been driven into the store and it was in fact cabaret singers singing the song. Police found Valery A Washington sprawled over an ice rink on the cruise as Torvill and Dean skated over her dead body not actually realising that her body was in fact the. Torvill and Dean were arrested immediately for suspected murder. Meanwhile worker LaDaysha Minaj was found impaled on a chandelier in the dining room on the cruise. While not actually dead Minaj has many injuries and is in intensive care at Dr Tila Tequilas hospital.

While police initially did not suspect that Nevett Evans was behind the attack Nevett revealed it was her after choking Jale Burrito on many frozen burritos in the supermarket. Nevett then revealed to the police she also crashed the cruise ship. Police threatened to shoot Nevett Evans but she revealed that if police shot her then they would also kill Doreen Soreen after she had smuggled her in her vagina and was attempting to start a new life with her in the Shetland Islands. The cruise ship then exploded in the store and caused Fanny Cumberbatch to bang her head hard on a dildo. Fanny has been reported to have amnesia and thinks she is Lea Walker.

All the other workers escaped leaving Nevett and a smuggled Doreen left in the store. As Nevett made one last attempt at fleeing the store she was hit over the head with a bottle of white wine and was killed immediately. Doreen then climbed out of Nevett's vagina and looked up to her saviour who just simply said 'I'm Helen Wood and I like white wine'

[Will.]

iconic

The bitch Nevett is dead

[T*]

LaDaysha is on the brink of a breakdown

[Daniel-X]

Originally Posted by Tøm

LaDaysha is on the brink of a breakdown

She's still in ICU also welp

[Daniel-X]

BB legend Mary O'Leary joins store



BB legend Mary O'Leary has joined the employees at Will's supermarket under her new job description as 'Cafe manager.' Saskia Howard-Clarke originally applied for the job but was turned down because her boobs were false according to Will causing her to have a breakdown and say she hopes worker LaDaysha Minaj die. She assured to the Blackpool gazette this wasn't a racist comment because as she quotes 'I can't be racist I'm a quarter Sri-Lankan'. Mary's dog also applied for the job but after waiting till 4 in the morning for the dog to arrive Will eventually was left with no option than to offer Mary O'Leary the job.

While being interviewed by Roberto Conte, Mary commented 'I wanted to show my other talents. I can cook really fast with my witch powers I can whip up a curry faster than Makosi can say Cherry Tango.' Roberto interrupted her in her interview asking why she never cooked in the house and Mary appeared to scream back 'Roberto, Roberto! ROBERTO!' before flying off on her broomstick, while on her journey home Mary crashed into the stores parking lot and was rushed to hospital. Saskia Howard-Clarke was arrested outside hospital after taking Mary's monitor off 'THEY'RE HEART SURGERY SCARS BITCH' could be heard in Southport and the police were alerted.

Mary begins her job tomorrow.

[Daniel-X]

When will legend Mary be added?