[Braden]

sounds amazingly interesting

[Z]

Chapter 3

Dean clambered back up the tree and collected his hologram machine. He started to climb back down, to head North, but once he was back down on the ground, he realised that MarkWaldorf hadn’t left the clearing like everyone else had.

“Hi? Can I help you?” Dean asked, gripping his (lol) hologram machine tightly.

“Hi, you know, I was just wondering where you got that hologram machine?”

“Oh it was my mom’s in the sixties.”

“Vintage, I love it!”

“Thanks!” Dean smiled appreciatively at Mark, and then began to walk away. Mark produced what looked like a gun and aimed it at Dean’s back. He fired it, and shards of glass exploded out of the barrel, and many of these shards became embedded in Dean’s back. Dean fell to the ground, crying out in pain, and MarkWaldorf walked towards him triumphantly.

“I always wanted one of these,” Mark said as he walked towards Dean, talking about the hologram machine. “They’re so fetch.”

Mark felt cool and calm as he walked towards Dean, who was mumbling in pain, and as he walked around Dean to prise the hologram machine from his fingers, Dean rolled over and smacked Mark across the face with the heavy machinery. Mark hit the ground instantly, bleeding profusely.

“Mother****er!” Mark shouted angrily, his nose bleeding heavily.

“Yeah my weapon can multitask, what can yours do?” Dean made a compulsory penis joke.

Mark angrily fired his glass gun at Dean, causing shards of glass to hideously disfigure Dean’s face; which in turn absolutely scared the **** out of Mark ‘cause, you know, ugly people are gross. Dean responded by crashing his hologram machine down on top of Mark, crushing his arm, and Mark fired the gun again, the force of the short range shot causing Dean to fly back and hit the ground – the glass that had been in his back now forced further into his body. Dean could not even scream in pain, and he knew he was dying, but he couldn’t let MarkWaldorf of all people have a hologram machine, who knew what kind of untold horrors would occur if Mark had one? I don’t know, actually, Mark what would you do if you had a hologram machine? Hm, might start a thread on that... Uh, yeah. Dean forcibly pushed himself up onto his feet, and Mark looked appalled that he was still fighting. Dean kicked the glass gun out of Mark’s hand, caught it in mid air, spun around and shot his hologram machine with the glass gun. The hologram machine exploded theatrically, and a huge fireball erupted into the sky just because if this ever gets turned into a film it would have to have one. Dean continued to pirouette and turned back around to fire the gun at MW, but MW had started charging towards Dean (all of this is in slo-mo, obv) and slammed into Dean before he could get off (HAHA) a shot. Dean hit the ground, the glass driving into him further and instantly killing him. MarkWaldorf started taking protein shakes and drinking beer COZ HE IZ A MANLY MAN no but yeah but no. Mark rolled off Dean (I am a terrible person, Dean’s dead and I still made a sex joke...) and picked himself up off the floor. He’d just made his first kill.

Caitlin had been blessed with a sniper rifle. Admittedly the bullets she had for it were only rubber, and were not nearly as likely to kill someone as a real bullet, but if she scored a hit, it would be critical. She had been confused at first by the entire situation, mostly because she had been sitting on TiBB until about 4am the night before, and had reached that stage where your body’s gone to sleep but your eyes are still open – you all know what I’m talking about, you know, the feeling that you don’t actually have a life to live anymore, your entire purpose is to just sit and talk in The Den or The Brotherhood or The Lounge until your face falls off and Japan becomes an acceptable name for a cat... Sorry, I got carried away there. Cleft. Anyway, Caitlin had been on TiBB until the early hours, and then all of a sudden she woke up on this strange island, sniper rifle in tow. She had found the picture and had felt physically sick at the thought of killing people, but then she realised that she was, for all intents and purposes, defending herself. She was in the middle of nowhere, with fifteen other people who were in the same situation as her, why shouldn’t it be a dog eat dog self defence scenario? So, Caitlin threw caution to the wind, and started to take things seriously very quickly. She had been annoyed when she missed the shot at James and Shaun, but it had them running scared. Caitlin’s weapon was of no use from short range, she had to stay hidden in the shadows and bide her time to survive. She had been traipsing through the jungle in vain, in her search for somebody to kill. She had been heading to the north of the island, and had eventually stopped walking and had climbed up a tree.

Caitlin had not expected anybody to come anywhere near her, or at least, not as soon. Nor did she expect the one person she really wanted to kill to appear – Christina. Christina was a lovely girl, even Caitlin could admit that, but the reason she wanted to kill her so badly was because she just couldn’t cope with the thought of other women muscling in on her territory – namely, 30stone. Ben. If Caitlin could only just win this, she would be in the moderating team with Ben. She, not Christina, or Brona, or any other dangerously close to being jailbait Ben you should probably stop talking to Stefani I think she’s like five btw just warning you....... um, did you just hear that? No? So anyway, Caitlin and Caitlin alone would be on the mod team with Ben, and she could finally make her move. She began to silently insert (lololol) bullets into her sniper rifle, and then carefully took aim at Christina. Christina noticed Caitlin in the nick of time, and with her incredible knowledge of how to work her camera, she turned on the flash, aimed at Caitlin and clicked the button. The blinding flash of Christina’s camera impaired Caitlin’s vision, and she fired off a shot that went wide. Caitlin toppled out of the tree, taking her sniper rifle with her. She managed to roll as she landed; taking the edge off the impact, but her sniper rifle skittered away from her. Christina ran towards Caitlin and kicked her in the side of the head as she tried to get up, launching Caitlin backwards. Caitlin scrambled to her feet and ducked Christina’s fist (FIST HAHAHAHAHAHA yeah I don’t really know any boundaries) and (donkey?)punched Christina on the back of the neck (yeah.. yeah donkey punch.. oh baby yeah). Christina fell to the ground, quickly rolled over and hacked at Caitlin’s shins with her feet, flooring Caitlin as well. The two girls rolled about in the mud on the ground together, tearing each other’s clothes and... oh boy, brb.

...1 minute later...

Sorry, I was uh... busy... What do you mean I was only away for a minute? It was like ten minutes! No, I’m not one of those people who ‘gets a little bit excited too early’, how dare you! I don’t even know what you’re talking about, I had to... uh, feed my cat! What do you mean I was on webcam and you saw the whole thing? What?! Noooooooo!

“You’re a bitch!” Caitlin shrieked at Christina, trying hard to get to her sniper rifle; but Christina kept knocking Caitlin down; and when Christina tried to grab it, Caitlin would stop her. Eventually, Christina got to the sniper rifle, grabbing the butt (XXXtina strikes again)of the rifle and swinging it round to hit Caitlin on the head; but Caitlin ducked out of harm’s way, and did a legsweep that sent Christina clattering to the ground. Caitlin scooped up the rifle and fired at Christina’s head from extremely close range. Even though it was only a rubber bullet; that didn’t stop it from killing poor Christina – and Caitlin was covered in her blood. Caitlin stepped away from Christina’s dead body, and then, as a sickening afterthought, she picked up Christina’s camera, took a picture and walked away... fapfapfapfapfap.

Shaun didn’t appreciate being ignored for this long in the story, so it turns out he found an elephant in the wilderness, trained it to juggle while farting the theme tune to Friends and took it on tour to Cape Verde and the Canary Islands. So that’s what he’s been up to for the last couple of chapters. Due to an unforeseen series of unfortunate events, he ended up back on the island, mere hours after he had discovered the elephant, because life’s twisted like that. So Shaun continued to trek through the jungle, without a weapon, it seemed. He eventually came across the dead bodies of Dean and Nicky (I thought I knew you, man... that **** is disgusting) in the clearing, and wondered what had happened to them. He shrugged the question off, and kept walking. After some time, Shaun realised that there were footprints beneath where he was walking – he had been inadvertently following somebody. He became very wary, as he still didn’t know what or where his weapon was, so he started to creep carefully. He thought to himself who am I going to find? Lauren would ****ing batter me. Shaun heard the caterwauli- no, no, he heard the siren call of five sultry voices, or was that six? Shaun fell into a trance-like state as he walked towards the source of the music. It sounded like Girls Aloud, but something wasn’t quite right... Shaun finally drew close enough to the music to realise that he had fallen into a trap – Doug had been playing the music to entice the other competitors, but so far only Shaun had appeared. He wondered why nobody else had been drawn to the music. Maybe he’d chosen the wrong song? Untouchable hadn’t charted high, but it was still a good song, wasn’t it?


“No, it isn’t a good song, I’m only drawn towards it because I wanted to turn it off.” Shaun answered Doug’s thoughts, which was strange because Shaun can’t hear thoughts. Or can he...? That’s a scary concept. WHAT AM I THINKING OF RIGHT NOW SHAUN!? Ha, I knew you didn’t know.


“Well it worked, now I’m going to kill you!” Doug cackled, and suddenly morphed into a leather one piece suit.


“Oh.” Shaun sighed, as his outfit morphed into an Easter bunny outfit.


“What the ****?” Doug asked, before running towards Shaun, kicking off the ground and doing a back flip.

Doug was only mid flip when Shaun lunged forward and headbutted him. Doug’s flip was an EPIC FAIL and he crumpled into a heap on the ground. Shaun quite calmly then sat on Doug’s face (hehehe) and suffocated him, and a cameraman filmed it and posted it on RedTube, ‘cause it involves leather, suffocation and bunny outfits, just the kind of thing you’re looking for on that site, you know? Doug struggled, he really did, but his attempts to escape from underneath the sadistic bunny Shaun were futile. If you can imagine it, all you can see of Doug from a side on view is his flailing arms and legs, and Shaun has this really uninterested look on his face and the bunny suit is white with a pink stomach and pink ears. Got it? Yeah, pretty ****in’ hysterical, isn’t it?

I’m Ron Burgundy?

End of Chapter 3.

[LemonJam]

roflmao, I love this <3

MOAR

[Shaun]

i'm sorry doug

[Tom4784]

That was hilarious but I've got one gripe, MARK WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED ME!? I love him but I coulda killed him with my little finger and my eyes covered in a blindfold! I had an epic death though.

The whole Shaun Vs Doug thing was hilarious.

[Shaun]

ya you've had a long enough break greg gtf back in here

[Billy]

LOL SO GOOD.

despite the absence of me.

[Twilight]

OMG i only just found this and its amazing<3

[Christina]

All 3 of these are amazing lmao!!! LOL at me and Caitlin's fight for Ben Keep this up it's great!!

P.S - Caitlin you sod haha joke!

[Stephanie]

Originally Posted by Zee

Ben you should probably stop talking to Stefani I think she’s like five btw just warning you....... um, did you just hear that? No?

lmao!

[Z]

After a ridiculous hiatus, here's the next instalment!


Chapter 4

Ross and Twilight had finally come to a satisfactory conclusion to their business arrangement, which entailed royalty fees going to Ross and the rights belonging to Twilight Twitty’s “people”, it was kinda immoral but she’s a superstar and all. They stood up, shook hands, Ross gave her a cheekii finger : o and then paused.

“I’m not turning my back on you, you could kill me.” Twilight fingered her bow (oh c’mon) nervously.

“Why would I do that? We’ve worked out an agreement that benefits us both, I wouldn’t then kill you!” Ross retorted. Rrrrrrr.

“You could kill me and change the terms of it and then get rich! And I’d be dead!”

“But you need to sell your story before I can make any money – and you can’t sell your story if you’re dead.” Ross reasoned. Rrrrrrrrrrrr.

At that moment, the two moneygrabbers heard a noise out in the forest, and both immediately swung round to see what made the noise. It was Sam. Ross instinctively fired at Sam, who launched himself behind a tree, escaping the blast. Ross fired at the tree three times, eventually blasting a hole through it, but Sam was no longer there, he had disappeared again. Emily fired arrows at random into the forest, hoping to hit Sam, but she had no luck. Ross and Emily stopped, and retreated into the shadows.

“How can we even hit him? He’s so skinny he’s practically 2D!” Emily hissed.

“I know how we can lure him out, but we need a prop.” Ross whispered back.

“What? I’m famous, I can get whatever I want whenever I want, tell me and I’ll get it.” Twilight boasted.

“Get me a laptop and a webcam. I know just how to lure him in.” Ross gave Emily a devilish grin, and in a heartbeat, a laptop and webcam appeared, along with a huge bag of fanmail.

“You get a bag of fan mail every time you get something else?” Ross queried.

“Contractual agreement. I don’t even have to read the mail, I just have to be papped with a bag of fan mail. Hey, do you think there are any paparazzi lurking around here?” Emily fixed her hair hopefully, btw it looks better straight gurl (yeah and that’s a not so subtle dig at you, Zeta House. No I’m kidding, you’re all fiercer than a feral cat <333 jesus, I can’t even type that ironically, I want to die...).

“I see,” Ross gave me an odd look. “Well, that’s us online now.” Ross said, turning on the webcam. “Now, we wait...”

Ross positioned the webcam to be pointing at his crotch, and within seconds, Sam had been drawn out of the forest.

“Gotcha!” Ross grinned at Emily, and then gave her the signal. Emily raised her bow and arrow, but Sam’s impending death was postponed, for James and Jen had been silently witnessing the whole debacle, and finally interrupted it to save Sam. The pair had decided to follow the path in a westerly direction, and had seen Ross and Emily firing at Sam. They hid amongst the bushes, and then saw Sam being drawn towards the webcam, and knew that they couldn’t just sit and watch Sam be lured to his death. Jen sprinted out of the woods and rugby tackled Sam; and James rushed towards Ross and Emily, throwing hyperlinks to 4girlsfingerpaint at Ross. The sick pornography split Ross’ armoured shell, causing critical internal damage to the suit. Ross’ control over the movements of the suit was non-existent, and the arm of the suit jerked out to the right, hitting Twilight square in the face (NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE!)

“Not in the face! How can I be a celebrity now?!” Emily shrieked, blood streaming down her face. She had actually been flung backwards due to the sheer force of the blow, and her truce with Ross was immediately revoked. She fired her bow and arrow at his now weakened armour, and the arrow lodged itself in the neck of Ross’ suit, causing him to stagger around, out of control.

Sam and Jen rolled around on the forest floor. Sam was punching Jen for rugby tackling him, and Jen was trying to get away from Sam because he isn’t Roger Federer. Jen wriggled out of Sam’s grasp, kicked him in the face when he grabbed her ankle, and sprinted towards James, who had been knocked down by the out of control Ross.

“James!” Jen sobbed, in an overdramatic, OC type way.

“Jen, I think I’m dying...” James croaked, in an overdramatic, One Tree Hill type way.

“Oh James, you can’t die! You have so much to live for!” Jen stars in the new series of 90210

“I think I can see the light...” James features in the next episode of Gossip Girl. “...xoxo.”

“Huh?” Jen looked confused, and somewhere way off in the distance, MarkWaldorf squealed in delight.

“No wait, I’m fine.” James got up, and was immediately struck back down by an arrow through the shoulder.

“Oh my Christ!” Jen screamed in horror.

“...Piss.” James said, before passing out.

Jen felt an arrow whizz past the back of her head, and she quickly scampered away from James, hiding amongst the bushes once more.

Ross staggered around the forest, his armour now deeply penetrated by arrows (I honestly don’t want to signpost these euphemisms anymore, the joke’s getting old) and Twilight advanced upon him. She threw away her bow and arrow (typical n00b error!) and ninja kicked Ross in the arm, breaking off the metallic exterior and exposing bare flesh. She shrieked victoriously, and continued to attack the hapless Ross, until he was covered in very little armour.

“Emily! For the love of God, stop!” Ross begged for his life, but Twilight wasn’t listening.

“I’m not your ****ing Emily!” Spot the Orphan reference there? Twilight ferociously kicked Ross under the chin, snapping his neck and messing up his hair (you BITCH! YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH! HE HAD IT CUT RECENTLY!)

Meanwhile, Sam had given up his fight against Jen, and had instead turned his attention towards James, who was lying prone, ass up in the air, just waiting to take it deep. Ha no, but James was in a bad way, and Sam knew that now was his chance. He charged towards James furiously, and James tried to move out of the way – his movements were weak and as he clambered to his feet, Sam rammed into him and knocked him back down, driving the arrow back inside James’ shoulder. James hollered in excruciating pain, and Sam hit the deck due to the force of his tackle (I couldn’t resist... haaahahahahahaha). Sam got to his feet once more, and menacingly walked slowly towards James, who couldn’t even open his eyes, the pain was so terrible.

“They all laughed at me,” Sam bitched. “They all took the piss out of me, never thought I’d be this mean eh?”

“Please, Sam,” James begged, tears freely flowing from his eyes. “Don’t do this, please...”

“I have to, James, I want to live, I want to be a moderator and I want to win.” Sam edged closer and closer to James.

“Oh sweet Jesus, no! No!” James shrieked, he finally managed to open his eyes, saw his bloodied shoulder and the looming figure of Sam approaching him. “What the hell is that in your hand? What the hell is that in your hand?!” James’ cries for help were haunting.


Jen cowered in the bushes, observing Sam advance towards James. She saw the weapon in his hand, and she knew that she should help James. Should. There was no guaranteeing that by intervening, she would save him. Nor was there any guarantee that he wouldn’t turn on her later. She reasoned with herself that James was on his way anyway, that shoulder looked pretty bad, and he would never know that she had bailed on him... except if he could read her thoughts, either by mind reading, or in a post on a forum... But that would never happen. Jen realised the bitter reality of her situation; playing a game of death with people she’d never met before, she would have never have dreamed that this would happen, yet here she was, hiding in the bushes from Twilight and Sam!. She was silently seething at Sam; she had pushed him out of the way of certain death, and now he was going to get James, but she didn’t know what to do, so she just watched...

Sam raped James to death. His weapon was his penis. Hope you enjoyed it James. Jen certainly enjoyed watching.

Twilight made her escape. Sam was preoccupied with destroying James’ hoop, and Jen was nowhere to be seen, so she fled into the woods, picking up her bow and arrow on the way. She never wanted to kill Ross, and she really did mean every word of their pact, but ultimately she discovered that she just couldn’t trust him, or anybody. She supposed that sometimes you can’t make it on your own, but this time she would have to.

Twilight Twitty ft. U2 – Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own, out on Monday the 30th November.

End of Chapter 4.

[Stephanie]

lmfao, this is really good

[Stu]

Seriously quality stuff.

[LemonJam]

Hahahahahaha I actually rofled.

[Shaun]

*scatters dirt on James' grave*

*commits necrophilia in Ross'*

[Z]

Chapter 5


Shaun had been following MarkWaldorf for quite some time. He was surprised that Mark hadn’t sensed that he was being followed, with such a high post count you’d think he was like Jesus or something. Appaz not. Mark had, at one point, shrieked in delight, but Shaun wasn’t sure why – perhaps he had heard something in the distance? This thought worried Shaun, surely Mark could hear him? What if he was being hunted? He kept this in mind as he skulked in the shadows, a respectable distance away from the Waldorf.

Mark entered a part of the woods that was different to the rest; the ground was moist and the fauna was much different to the rest of the woods. The air seemed denser and the change put Shaun on edge. He too edged into this new territory, and watched in awe as Jen stumbled through the marshland, dishevelled and distraught. Shaun wondered what Mark was thinking. And because this is my story, let’s hear Mark’s thoughts! I heard that Gossip Girl reference that Sheppy mess made, I’ll take it out on his best friend! Nobody uses a Gossip Girl reference on their death bed! Or something like that. Probably with some emoticons in there.

Mark leapt forward, knocking Jen to the ground. Mud flew in all directions; the ground here was extremely fertile, but there was nothing growing there; Mark and Jen were having a mud fight. Shaun decided to make a judgment call. He could either watch and see how this turned out, and ‘bate furiously, or he could get involved. As tempting as the first option was to Shaun, he decided to get down and dirty in the mud. Shaun circled round the scrapping pair, and suddenly burst through the clearing and charged towards them. They were oblivious until Shaun was nearly upon them, and Mark was sent flying into the mud; Jen’s legs getting trampled. Shaun skidded to a halt, turned around to do more damage, but his legs were hooked by Mark’s, and he was sent toppling face first into the mud. Not to be outdone; Jen picked up mud and flung it into Mark’s face, blinding him long enough for Jen to get back to her feet. She aimed a kick at Shaun’s crotch, but Shaun rolled out of the way. She motioned to do it again, but Shaun grabbed her ankle and flipped her up in the air, causing Jen to land on her back. Mark crawled on top of Shaun and started slapping his face and pushing mud into his eyes, but Jen, despite being winded, tackled Mark off of Shaun. The three users lay gasping for breath in the mud, and then all three realised that they had stopped fighting.

“All singing, all dancing interlude?” Mark suggested. The others nodded slowly in agreement, and ludicrously, out of nowhere, Britney Spears’ song ‘3’ began to play, somewhere high above the forest. The three of them danced provocatively to the song, but Simon took it to deadlock and they were eliminated. If only it were that painless for them.

Jen attempted to punch the air at the end of the song, but instead gave Mark an uppercut to the chin. He yowled in pain; he had bitten his tongue. Mark reeled away from the other two, leaving Shaun and Jen to face each other. Shaun moved first; dropping down low, grabbing mud and hitting Jen square in the face, just as she was about to launch mud at Shaun. Shaun used the opportunity to charge at Jen, and caused her to run backwards as he sped up towards a tree with a handily placed, very sharp branch poking at just the right angle, at just the right height... Well, what happens next is somewhat graphic and mildly arousing, so I won’t go into details.
[scene deleted]
Shaun licked the blood off of his fingers, and cursed his high libido. Mark had a look of horror etched onto his face; and if he lived beyond this fight with Shaun, he would always have the image of [censored] burned into his eyes. Whenever he closed them to sleep, he would see [censored]. Poor, poor Jen.

Mark’s face suddenly twisted into an expression of utter hatred and rage. Shaun had [censored] Jen, it was a sick thing to do, and Mark didn’t want that to happen to him. He was not going to let Shaun [censor] him like he had [censored] Jen. Mark dropped slightly, bracing himself for his next move. Suddenly, without warning, taking Shaun by surprise, Mark flipped his hair in the way that only he and Britney Spears could do, bedazzling Shaun and sent him crashing to the floor. Mark strutted forward, which caused the ground beneath Shaun to bounce with attitude, tossing him further away from Mark with every step he took. Eventually Shaun smashed into YOU (sorry, divas on the brain, ignore that) a tree and was pinned against it as Mark reached him. Mark suddenly realised that now he had Shaun at his mercy, he didn’t really know what he was meant to do. Shaun took advantage of this and punched Mark; but instead, he triggered a switch that revealed Mark’s true identity. Ingeniously, the switch was hidden in a place that nobody would have ever thought to look – where Mark’s balls should have been. Mark suddenly stiffened up (ha) straight (HA) and his head tilted back; his arms rigidly snapped to his sides and his skin slipped off him as if it were a dressing gown. Shaun gasped in horror, as he read the corporate marking lasered onto MarkWaldorf’s cold, metallic, robotic chest: aristabot.

Shaun couldn’t believe his eyes. Standing very still in front of him was arista. Arista was MarkWaldorf. He couldn’t believe it; how could he not have known? How was this possible? It didn’t make any sense. Shaun tentatively stood up and took a few steps away from arista, scared in case arista reactivated. Shaun began to walk backwards, away from arista, and as soon as he turned around to run, he heard an ominous, grating, electronic voice utter ‘Sign Of The Times’. Shaun stopped, and with a sassy ‘bitch no’, he turned around and marched back up to arista. He punched arista, but hurt his fist in the process, and buckled away from the immovable robot.

“Your blows Will
Not hurt me,
Shaun
Life In The Fast Lane”

“You’re a freak.” Shaun huffed, and then started pelting arista with mud from a safe distance. Eventually, after some time had passed, Shaun had covered arista in mud from his robotic feet up to his waist.

“Young Shaun You are a
Dirty Boy”

“Shut up. Just, shut up. I don’t know what you are, I don’t understand you and I have no idea how you got away with pretending to be Mark for so long, but I’m going to end you.” Shaun found a large rock, and smashed it against aristabot’s back. His circuits buzzed ferociously; blue electricity sparking out of the mainframe, and arista suddenly started spouting information.

“The Hulk Nevada nuclear Warfare schizophrenia Cher kitchen Porter” arista babbled at high speeds.

Arista’s metallic head exploded, and Shaun had to duck to avoid being hit with the hot shards of arista (what an epic cum joke).

“Wow,” Shaun said to himself. “Did I just get arista’s back story there before he died?” He shrugged his shoulders, there was nothing he could do now to find out more, and with one last look at Jen, and one last [censored], he lurched out of the humid tropic of this part of the forest. Shaun walked for what felt like hours, and then decided to stop for a break. He sat down on a tree stump, catching his breath, and his stomach rumbled in hunger. He spotted a cute looking fox staring at him, and smiled at it. He licked his lips, and wondered how hard it would be to catch a fox. He looked all around him without moving, trying to see if he had anything to hand that he could use to capture and kill the fox. He realised that he had a shard of arista caught in a fold in his jeans, and carefully picked it up without breaking eye contact with the fox. Slowly, he rose to his feet, barely blinking, and quietly crunched across dry leaves towards the intimidated fox. He was nearly upon the fox, when he heard the sound of a gun go off, and then seconds later realised that he was on the ground, dazed and confused. Groaning, he rolled over, and felt the gorge in his stomach rise – Ninastar was climbing down from a nearby tree; sniper rifle slung over one shoulder. He turned back over to see where the fox had gone, but it was nowhere to be seen; and then with a moan of saddening realisation, he knew where the fox had gone – back into Caitlin’s avatar.

End of Chapter 5.

[Shaun]

**** yes two kills <3

[Stephanie]

pmsl amazing

[Tom4784]

Rofl.

[Twilight]

I love this sfm<3

[GypsyGoth]

Well written Greg.

[Z]

Chapter 6

Mark the admin sat on the top floor of TiBB Towers, drinking champagne. Every so often, he casually threw a couple of chips onto the table, placing bets on hands of Blackjack as and when he felt like it. On either side of him were empty chairs, and indeed there were only two other people sitting at the table, bar the dealer – a repentant Magic – in the form of his fellow admins: James and Kaz. All three were dressed to impress, the two men wearing the finest suits, and Kaz wore a long, silver ball gown.

“When are they scheduled to arrive?” Kaz asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“Nine. They said nine.” Mark responded without taking his eyes off the game.

“They’re ten minutes late.” James ventured, sounding a little nervous.

“They’ll get here when they can.” Mark intoned dully.


“They” were a group of businessmen and women who had been invited by the admins to TiBB towers.


“Sirs, madam, they have arrived.” A voice called from the doorway to the top room.

“Thank you Roy, show them in.” Mark finally snapped his gaze away from the table, and ushered Magic to clear up the cards and be seated.

“I’m nervous.” Kaz stated in a serenely calm voice.

“Me too, but we’re going to be very rich after this, keep that in mind.” Mark smiled at Kaz, then James, and then at the doorway as they arrived.

“Hello Mark,” The ringleader nodded her head respectfully. “James, Kaz.”

“Hello Laura,” Mark responded in kind. “Stu, Niamh.”

“We all know why we’re here, I’d like to cut the bullshit and get on with proceedings, if that’s alright?” Laura’s ruthless side shocked the three admins.

“This isn’t the Princess I thought I knew!” Kaz whispered to James, who nodded his head in agreement.

The six took a seat at a large table: on the one side, Mark sat in the middle, Kaz to his left, James to his right; on the other sat Princess in the middle, Stu on her left and Niamh on her right. Mark clicked his fingers, and at a whim, Roy appeared with a folder and a laptop.

“Thank you Roy, you may return to Kizzy. Ladies and gentlemen,” Mark began his speech, whilst turning on the laptop. “As we are all aware, the ThisIsBigBrother domain name is, should things go to plan, going to change hands tonight. Our Irish investors wish to take full control of the site, which will come at a price, of course.”

“Understandably, Mark,” Laura nodded. “But we recently discovered the disturbing issue of missing TiBB members... To cut to the chase, we heard you’ve put some members in a Lord of the Flies situation, and the last member standing gets to return. Obviously we want a reduced price in compensation for the loss of long standing members.”

“That wasn’t part of our original agreement.” Mark had loaded up TiBB on screen.

“No, but neither was putting all those members on a deserted island.” Laura intimidated Mark.

“Well, we can put an end to it now; the Towers are on the very same island.” Mark suggested.

“I think that would be for the best, we need our regulars.” Laura, Stu and Niamh stood up, indicating that they wanted to stop the sick game there and then.

“I hardly think it’s appropriate for us to go out dressed like this,” Mark spluttered. “The conditions out there are truly barbaric, we could be hurt in the process.”

“No, Mark, you’re worried that you’ll be killed.” Stu raised an eyebrow.

“And I wouldn’t blame them,” Niamh leered at him with a sadistic grin. “You’ve created a right mess for yourself.”

“We’re going now, Mark, before it’s too late.” Laura said with a sense of finality, and Mark hung his head and took a step forward.

“Good.” Niamh smirked.



Darenn had gotten lost in the wilderness, and felt cold. He began to regret wearing skinny-everything clothing, and in particular he regretted wearing so little all the time. What a slut. He stumbled through the forest, tripping over hidden tree roots and cursing his bad luck every few steps, and eventually slumped against a tree root and started to cry. He didn’t have it in him to be a killer, he was cold, hungry and he didn’t want to be murdered. He had given up all hope. He sat and thought about his life, trying to remember all the good times, and found that he had had many. His reverie was finally interrupted by a sound that came from a fair bit away in the distance, but was unmistakeably the sound of a gun firing. Darenn sat upright, having snapped out of his mood, and began to hurry away from the direction of the gun fire. But then he stopped. He could keep running away, or he could be a hero (and probably die – tactical error). He decided to be the latter, he supposed that he couldn’t just run away every single time, he would die eventually that way, he would have to take action. Now. Darenn began to run towards the sound of the gun, and a renewed sense of urgency coarsed through him as he heard the sound of a high pitched, girly scream. He wondered who was in trouble. Was it Christina? Lauren? Jen? Darenn slowed down, and ducked into the shadows of a cluster of trees. He realised that the scream had come from Shaun, who was being tortured by Ninastar. Darenn studied the scene carefully, wondering what he could use to distract Caitlin. His weapon, a portable flamethrower, wasn’t a particular useful weapon – it had very limited ammunition, and was only of use on the beaches – which weren’t very good for providing cover. He had kept the weapon on him because it was better than nothing, but he needed something else to distract Caitlin. Darenn was startled, therefore, to see 30stone standing next to him.

“Ben, what the hell?” Darenn hissed.

Ben said nothing, and Darenn realised that, somehow, the hologram from Dezzy’s broken machine was still being projected and apparently had the facility to free roam round the island. Darenn blew on 30stone (lolol a blow joke) and sure enough, Ben shifted away from Darenn very slightly. A smile dawned on Darenn’s face, and he began to blow Ben round the periphery of the area where Caitlin was laying into Shaun (double whammy there!).

“Please, Caitlin, have mercy!” Shaun s0bbed.

“Where are the others? Have you seen any of the others?” Caitlin punched Shaun again.

“I haven’t! No! For the love of God, don’t do this!” Shaun tried to shield his face, only to get kicked in the stomach.

“Well if you don’t know anything, I guess this is it. Say goodbye!” Caitlin took a couple of steps back to aim her gun at Shaun, but in doing so, her line of sight widened and she saw 30stone moving towards her.

“Ben!” Caitlin shrieked, lowering her gun slightly, giving Shaun the time to scramble away from her and rush away into the forest. “****!”

Caitlin then realised that Ben was a hologram, and began to fire pot shots into the holographic Ben in rage. She heard a piercing scream in the blackness of the woods, and she moved quickly into the shrubbery to see who she’d shot.

“Darenn!” Caitlin screeched with laughter. “Oh this is too good to be true!”

“**** you, you psychotic bitch!” Darenn spat at her, blood leaking from his shoulder.

“Whatever.” Caitlin stepped back to shoot him, only to be hit on the back of the head with a rock. Caitlin stumbled forward, cursing in pain, and felt her legs go underneath her as Darenn kicked the back of her legs forcefully. He strained forward and saw the familiar face of Shaun smiling at him, holding several rocks in his hands. Shaun then began to pelt Caitlin with rocks at a close range, but she managed to roll out of the way and swung her rifle round, smashing into Shaun’s thigh. She attempted to do it again, but this time Shaun caught the butt of the rifle, and fired.

Shaun helped Darenn to his feet, and the pair hobbled away from the gruesome sight of Ninastar’s dead body. They eventually reached the edge of the forest, and lay down on the beach. They shared their stories, Darenn’s were uneventful, Shaun’s were full of death, and once they had finished sharing tales, they stared at the expanse of ocean for a while.

“We’re going to have to separate, aren’t we?” Darenn said after a while.

“I don’t want to kill you.” Shaun answered.

“Same. I don’t want to be alone though.” Darenn looked sad.

“Darenn...” Shaun began, but he wasn’t sure what to say.



Mark, James, Kaz, Laura, Stu and Niamh had exited the foreboding TiBB towers, and began to walk along the bridge that led to the island that the forum members were fighting on. The group came to the end of the bridge, and surveyed the wilderness. They stood on the beach, wondering which way to go first.

“I don’t trust you three. Niamh, escort Kaz; Stu, escort James; and I’ll escort Mark. We’ll fan out and meet back here in two and a half hours; so walk out for an hour and return in the next hour.” Laura commanded.

“What about the half an hour?” Mark was close to tears, he’d never felt so out of control before.

“Just in case we get into any trouble along the way, if people haven’t returned by the end of that time then we assume them to be dead.” Laura said gravely.

“Oh.” Mark responded, and the pairs began to trek into the jungle.

End of Chapter 6.

[Stacey.]

Courtney123 ftw
nah,, joking guys!!
i hate myself, lmaoooooooo

[Shaun]

Daren <3

great stuff, greg, i'm excited to see the....climax. *pervvvv*

[Twilight]

<3 loves it sfm