[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Jessica‪

What's the difference?

You don't know the difference between a girl wearing a regular dress or a school uniform dress and dressing up as cinderella?

Just as there's a difference between someone wearing shorts and dressing up as spongebob.

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by 08marsh

You don't know the difference between a girl wearing a regular dress or a school uniform dress and dressing up as cinderella?

I'm not talking about school uniform, I don't see a difference between a 5 year old child wearing a regular dress and a princess dress. Could you elaborate?

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Jessica‪

I'm not talking about school uniform, I don't see a difference between a 5 year old child wearing a regular dress and a princess dress. Could you elaborate?

I said school uniform OR "regular". You don't know the difference between a regular dress and a disney princess dress?

[Marsh.]

Spoiler:

Would you call this regular clothing?

[Jessica.]

That child is wearing make-up and the dress would obstruct her ability to walk safely I think, it seems to be a bit too long.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Jessica‪

That child is wearing make-up and the dress would obstruct her ability to walk safely I think, it seems to be a bit too long.

I'll ignore that as it's not on-topic.
So you see the difference between regular clothing and "dressing up" clothes? Yes?

[lily.]

The mum says he wears high heels. Also impractical..

This comment is bang on:

Originally Posted by Livia

I have three little nieces. Between them they have a mass of princess dresses... but nowhere near 100. Furthermore, none of them ever wear (or wore) dressing up clothes for school or for nursery because it would be inappropriate and unpractical. It's an attention-seeking exercise and it's worked.

[Shaun]

can we spoiler the crazy size image pls marsh

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by Josy

He wasn't in a playground though it was a playgroup..

The kids here have to wear uniforms to playgroup...

yes but you live in Scotland and that's just the land of primitive behaviour

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Shaun

can we spoiler the crazy size image pls marsh

Oops.

[Vicky.]

I used to have princess dresses and such, I also used to wear my grandmas skirts and blouses when around the house sometimes..I even had a dalmation outfit that I was quite partial to after watching the film But my parents would never have even thought to send me out somewhere looking like that, especially school/playgroup. There is a time and a place IMO.

I have an inkling if he was turning up in a full spiderman suit, or dressed like fireman sam or something it would have been a problem too. Nothing to do with his gender.

The mother is just attention seeking. Things like this really do no good for REAL gender identity cases tbh...

[reece(:]

This article is being misconstrued to be about gender identity when it's only to do with choice of clothes ... kids always wear dress up so I don't see why that's being disputed against...

[lily.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

.....The mother is just attention seeking. Things like this really do no good for REAL gender identity cases tbh...

This 100%

I feel like these stories always bring about negative gender identity discussions.

[user104658]

The specifics of what he's wearing are irrelevant... all that matters is whether or not they otherwise allow dress-up. If dress up is allowed (e.g. spiderman costumes, doctors / nurse costumes, girls wearing princess / fairy costumes) then there should be no problem with him dressing as a princess. He's just a child. It doesn't mean anything. When I was young, my parents had friends whose son liked to dress up as a fairy. Constantly. I remember finding it weird but... he loved it :/. 20+ years later, he's a perfectly normal (and straight, I should mention, not that it should matter) guy.

My daughter plays "Frozen" with the little boy from next door who is 6, and he usually plays the role of "Anna".

There's nothing wrong with cross-gender role play... it doesn't mean anything and it won't "cause" any confusion.

So like I said, it SHOULD just be an issue of general dress code. If fancy dress (in general) is disallowed, then obviously he shouldn't be dressed as a princess. If it is allowed, then there shouldn't be a problem. There's no right or wrong answer there as it's down to the individual group. Josy mentioned kids having to wear uniform to playgroup... I also live in Scotland, and my daughter's pre-school, which is part of the actual primary school not even an external organisation, has a completely open dress code. 90% of the time my daughter just wears her day-to-day clothes but she has in the past gone in as tinkerbell, a doctor, a nurse, a pirate and a cat (including whiskers!).

So there's clearly a lot of diversity between different groups as to acceptable dress. Can't really pass judgement on this story either way unless we know what ther reaction would have been to him arriving in "boy" fancy dress, like a fireman or pirate. If it would have been the same then the mum is clearly kicking up a fuss over nothing and making it into something it's not. If it would have been fine then the playgroup has outdated ideas about what's "OK for boys and OK for girls".

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The specifics of what he's wearing are irrelevant... all that matters is whether or not they otherwise allow dress-up. If dress up is allowed (e.g. spiderman costumes, doctors / nurse costumes, girls wearing princess / fairy costumes) then there should be no problem with him dressing as a princess. He's just a child. It doesn't mean anything. When I was young, my parents had friends whose son liked to dress up as a fairy. Constantly. I remember finding it weird but... he loved it :/. 20+ years later, he's a perfectly normal (and straight, I should mention, not that it should matter) guy.

My daughter plays "Frozen" with the little boy from next door who is 6, and he usually plays the role of "Anna".

There's nothing wrong with cross-gender role play... it doesn't mean anything and it won't "cause" any confusion.

So like I said, it SHOULD just be an issue of general dress code. If fancy dress (in general) is disallowed, then obviously he shouldn't be dressed as a princess. If it is allowed, then there shouldn't be a problem. There's no right or wrong answer there as it's down to the individual group. Josy mentioned kids having to wear uniform to playgroup... I also live in Scotland, and my daughter's pre-school, which is part of the actual primary school not even an external organisation, has a completely open dress code. 90% of the time my daughter just wears her day-to-day clothes but she has in the past gone in as tinkerbell, a doctor, a nurse, a pirate and a cat (including whiskers!).

So there's clearly a lot of diversity between different groups as to acceptable dress. Can't really pass judgement on this story either way unless we know what ther reaction would have been to him arriving in "boy" fancy dress, like a fireman or pirate. If it would have been the same then the mum is clearly kicking up a fuss over nothing and making it into something it's not. If it would have been fine then the playgroup has outdated ideas about what's "OK for boys and OK for girls".

..I think I probably more or less agree with this..at our pre-school which is similar to yours in that it's attached to the school and also now has a dress policy, it wouldn't be allowed for that reason/because what he wears doesn't 'conform'...but it didn't always have a dress policy and I remember that there was a young child who wouldn't wear anything except a Spiderman outfit..he even apparently wore it to sleep in as well, it was his 'comfort blanket' in a way but he did also have emotional issues and so it was allowed..it was all explained by his mum to the playschool but if it hadn't been, would it still have been allowed..?..I honestly don't know tbh...

..but you have made me start thinking though or this thread/story in general has...when children do go to proper school where there are mostly uniform policies...for the ones I personally know in my area..?..the girl's codes are worded roughly...'grey/black skirt/dress/trousers/shorts..'..etc..whereas the boys are...'grey/black trousers, shorts..'....hmmmm, is that 'equality'..?....sorry, that's probably a bit off topic just quite interesting I think....

[Kizzy]

I don't think it's the mother attention seeking she was right to raise awareness, if we can have a bloke in a frock win eurovision then this lad can be a princess if he wants...

[Ammi]

..I should have also said that with this particular story/case, I do think there seems to be an 'attention' aspect..or at least I personally don't think the mother has chosen the right way to bring any awareness..although I do feel that children of that age, other children at the playschool probably wouldn't think for more than a few minutes about what a child wore, it's not just the children in these cases, in fact in my experiences, it's mostly the parents and what they say and how they judge and their prejudice etc and that is inevitably passed down to the child so if it was my child, I would indeed worry about bullying/name calling etc and wouldn't subject my child of that age to that..and it is at that age a parent's decision what a child wears...I also think that however she handled the situation with the playschool, she has also now made this a 'national' thing and her son's picture is everywhere on the internet for people to judge and people will judge...I think she could have 'raised awareness' if indeed that's what she wanted to do with much more thought to her son...

[Kizzy]

How else is she to raise awareness without media attention? If kids saw it in nursery and it was more the 'norm' then bullying wouldn't happen when they did see it though I would've thought.

[Ammi]

..I don't agree with the 'bullying wouldn't happen' though because in my experience the bullying is more often because of parent/grown up judgements which their children 'inherit'...

[Kizzy]

Like being berated by nursery staff for instance, If they were not to force these negative stereotypes onto children then this cycle of abuse wouldn't continue would it?

[Ammi]

..it isn't a negative stereotype of 'dressing up clothes' aren't allowed at the playschool, which may be the case and the staff talking to the parent privately doesn't mean any berating of the child...anyway, as I don't know anything other than the mother's story, there really isn't anything else to add to what I've already said is my opinion generally....

[Livia]

I'm going to work tomorrow dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. It's my right as a woman. Let's see if my boss agrees.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Livia

I'm going to work tomorrow dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. It's my right as a woman. Let's see if my boss agrees.

..to heck with your boss, I want pics....

[Kizzy]

They for whatever reason refused this child to wear what he wanted, there is no evidence that there was any bullying occurring therefore it's natural to question their motives.

[Ammi]

..I don't think 5 year olds in general wear what they want or act how they want/eat what they want etc without parental guidance...