[Epic.]

Harry Potter began to impregnate Moaning Myrtle brutally and contracted gonorrhoea. This turned on Tweedledum and Tweedledee and TweedleTWAT making it Tweedlesome. Ron queefed loudly in the direction of Shrek who ****ed Rylan, Speidi, Ryan, Claire, Razor simultaneously until he noticed that Fiona was punching Pinocchio, Donkey and Puss. Shrek pulled out his green willy, showering Nana Julie with Nolan sisters. Frank Carson’s dressing gown came undone, visually raping Linda Barkers redesigned kitchen. She screamed for Rachel Dolezal, who answered the call from Pennywise the dancing nun.

Gino D’acampo put pasta on Holly and Phillip. Holly's flaps said "Pasta aches us" whilst Phillip asked Dr Chris where Alison was. “She’s milking Lorraine”, said the doctor who milked himself In front of a terrified, howling Peggy Mitchell who was a guest loose woman. “Justice for Kim!” cried Aggie Mackenzie whilst breastfeeding Judge Rinder, Jeremy Kyle stereotyped chavs jumped in front of Eamonn’s collection of mushrooms, while a Gnome bitchslapped a gypsy, the governess and the beast ate toffee popcorn while the governess cried into her little Mix signed lunchbox, Tipping Point was losing viewers as a naked Julia Bradbury streaked across the drop zones. Ben Jardine searched for Roxanne’s career, but failed. Kim Woodburn laughed at Tulisa’s career whilst eating RileyH's head for breakfast, but threw it back up.

Victor Frankenstein scrambled to join Celebs Go Dating but was refused for having scurvy after enjoying a shag with Megan McKenna. “How dare he!” Her nipples tingled, as his guts gave way. Megan slapped him on the back of his butthole.

[Matthew.]

Homer Simpson landed in Leeds to seduce Nelly Furtado, but then Marge played on Broken Strings. Suddenly, James Morrison was alive, but was found dead, then alive again and then dead, then a little dead and even more alive than ever before, but then dead, but then alive, but then dead again. However, he was resurrected then subsequently found in the ditch outside Andy Warhol’s humungus ballsack. “Droopy ass balls” exclaimed Marge as she yelled upon sight of her husband’s flaccid yellow cock."D'oh!" Shouted Homer as a lobster befriended him unconditionally whilst eating his donut that he left unattended for a long time - so long that it was mouldy as a mouldy doughnut

Hello! It's me Adele and I stink of old booze and earring back. Adele proceeded to inject Amy Winehouse with Chasing Pavements, but she struggled as the needle was actually

[Calderyon]

Homer Simpson landed in Leeds to seduce Nelly Furtado, but then Marge played on Broken Strings. Suddenly, James Morrison was alive, but was found dead, then alive again and then dead, then a little dead and even more alive than ever before, but then dead, but then alive, but then dead again. However, he was resurrected then subsequently found in the ditch outside Andy Warhol’s humungus ballsack. “Droopy ass balls” exclaimed Marge as she yelled upon sight of her husband’s flaccid yellow cock."D'oh!" Shouted Homer as a lobster befriended him unconditionally whilst eating his donut that he left unattended for a long time - so long that it was mouldy as a mouldy doughnut

Hello! It's me Adele and I stink of old booze and earring back. Adele proceeded to inject Amy Winehouse with Chasing Pavements, but she struggled as the needle was actually rusty and blunt