[InOne]

My blonde girlfriend was attempting a crossword.

She asked, "Any ideas what this is? I'm stuck. Opposite of easy, four letters starts with an H and ends with a D."

"That's Hard." I smiled.

"I know" She replied, "I've been stuck on it for hours."

[Me. I Am Salman]

Originally Posted by Nathan

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments

[Lee.]

This one is exclusively for Locke

A Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper.
"That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear ??"
"Well its a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!!

[Josy]

Originally Posted by Angus

A Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange."

The second little boy says"Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks "Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says "Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK. Then I DEFINITELY **** my pants."