Hi Ammi.
I was logged in earlier yesterday to reply to you and had a big post written but something happened my internet, it said page expired, I lost the whole thing and then I had to go away. I just caught up on yesterdays shows early this morning.
Just want to say thanks for your kind words, and to let you know that I always love reading your posts too. There is always a lot of thought put into into them and you give me something to think about, and you yourself seem like such a polite and lovely person. Definitely one of the best posters on here.
You make a good point about Helen being closer to males, but I'm not sure if this is because she finds males easier to control (although I did giggle at Christopher describing her as the alpha male of the house
), or if it's more because she is in many ways a bit stereotypically tomboyish and laddish herself? She didn't instantly bond with the less laddish males and seemed to distrust them as much as she did some of the quieter females at first.
I think Helen is drawn to very direct louder types naturally and coming into the house had a deep uneasiness around some of the people who were very quiet, like she felt they were not being themselves or were hiding their true opinions about things. I know when she realised Jale in the task was very blunt and direct and didn't tiptoe around giving her true opinion, she gained a new respect for her and the fact she was female didn't matter.
Kim is another female who when she had a problem with someone, would go and speak to them directly about it. (I wasn't really a Kim fan, but I can't take that away from her - when she had a problem she'd take someone aside to tell them.) I think Helen likes these traits whether they are in a male or female.
I think it's because Helen is so open and honest about her faults that it can seem that because she admits them so freely that it seems she doesn't care about them. However I do personally believe she has tried to change - she has tried to stay calmer, and she has tried to give people a chance. She said that when she entered the house she used to believe that she was a great judge of character but that she no longer believed that.
I think letting her barriers down and learning to give people different to her or quieter a chance is something she did learn.
I mean even Chris and Ashleigh had seen good changes in her! Chris in particular seemed really proud of her and they had built what seemed like a lovely friendship. I think it's such a shame that she eavesdropped on the wrong part of that conversation, because imo she had let her barriers down, was trusting people she wouldn't normally get along with, believed she had learnt something about herself being unfairly judgemental and to give people a chance etc., and sadly she now must think that they never really liked her at all and that she was foolish to think they did. (when Chris especially genuinely did like her).
Similar with Christopher, she must have thought they were ok because in the secret room she was watching Christopher full of affection saying he was so cute, she loved him and wanted him or Ash to win. Only to later to see him tearing her character apart with Ashleigh and seemingly very happy she was gone.
Because of these things, I feel that Helen may now unfortunately leave the house feeling like she was right at the beginning to not trust certain people and that she would be much warier and distrustful of giving similar people a chance again in the future. I really find it very sad and a pity, because for awhile there things were going so well.
I hadn't posted in ages before the other day. What really prompted me to post was that farce of a court trial over the divide.
Whatever arguments Helen had between other people, I still don't think she is to blame for the divide that is there at present.
I felt it was incredibly unfair to even hold that trial and put the blame all on one person's shoulders.
As I mentioned in the other post, I think Ashleigh started being very nasty towards Helen before Helen even had any problem with her.
Ashleigh doesn't like anybody who doesn't give her enough attention. I think that just because a person might not show a huge interest in you at the start (like Helen and Ash with Ashleigh) it doesn't mean they are excluding you, they might just have more interest in spending more time with the people they gel well with. Ashleigh also didn't like Kim because Kim had much more time for Danielle over her. She hated when Kim would ask to speak to Danielle alone to tell her something and I think she felt "excluded" over that too.
I think you are correct that feeling ignored by or Helen not having much interest in her at the start may have sparked some feelings she had of being excluded in school.
However, if Ashleigh was bullied in school by someone who happened to be a loud character like Helen that doesn't mean Helen is the same as Ashleigh's bullies.
Ashleigh can't go around spending her life meeting certain people and thinking that just because a person is popular and loud but just doesn't have a huge interest in her then that means they are a bully and are "excluding" her.
Ashleigh really does seem to have an issue with people like Helen, Ash, even Kim just preferring other people's company over her.
She seems to think she's on some sort of crusade against bullies using Helen as an example.
This is unfair because imo Helen didn't exclude her. I saw bitching from Ashleigh before Helen had any issues with her. I saw Ashleigh and Danielle exclude themselves on many occasions to take themselves of to the pod to bitch about what vile people Helen and co were, but then be all sweet to their face. I believe Helen when she said she never wanted a divide. She did try to encourage the others to get involved, and seemed so happy the night of the pool party where they got Danielle and Chris in the pool (it was Ashleigh's own choice to not get involved and just tut in the bedroom). Helen also seemed really happy with the little friendship she had built with Chris.
I can only remember Helen starting to bitch about Ashleigh, when she recognised the hostility from and heard the bitching from Ashleigh. So Helen then bitched about what a two faced bitch Ashleigh was being! Bit of a circle really.
I just don't think it's fair for Ashleigh to just take all her anger for her bullies in school and then to just project all her issues onto Helen. Just because Helen is loud and boisterous and has more time for people with similar personality to herself, doesn't mean Helen deserves to have all Ashleigh's anger at bullies directed at her. Asheligh has said herself she is bossy with a fiery temper and has apparently told them in the house that in her group of friends she is the bossiest most opinionated one. Just because someone doesn't fall into line with what she's used to at home, doesn't mean they are excluding and bullying her fgs!!!
Sorry for going on about that, but it pisses me off. I'm not directed my little rant you at you either Ammi so sorry for the exclamation marks and repeating myself
, but I'm just expressing my annoyance and frustration with Ashleigh not at anybody here.
Neither of them are saints. Helen has been horrible to people like Jale in the past, but Ashleigh has said nasty things in there too. But because Helen is loud about it she's seen as an aggressive bully, whereas Ashleigh can say whatever nasty things she likes, but because she whispers and sneaks about with it to some people she's just sweetness and light fighting the battle against a loud aggressive bully.
They are both equally bitchy just Helen is often more direct with it.
This is why the court trial annoyed me so much. When Helen was crying afterwards I could really understand her frustration about knowing they were both bad but also knowing that she was the only one getting the blame -because I felt frustration just watching it!
As an aside I do know two people in my own life who have
some similarities with both Helen and Ashleigh. One of my oldest friends is extremely direct like Helen, if she has a problem you'll know about it! She has no time for fakeness and is a real believer in just airing things out. I've no doubt there are some who are intimidated by her bluntness and openness, but most find her very warm and down to earth with no bullcrap. She is 29 now and has really matured a lot in the last 4 years or so. Only recently out of the blue she said she wanted to apologise for throwing strops with me in our late teens when I wouldn't always go out partying with her. She is jobseeking at the minute and short on cash so it must have popped into her head that she shouldn't have gotten stroppy with me and that maybe I was broke too some of the times in the past. She said whatever my reasons had been she felt she had been "so so selfish, and I'm really really sorry for that". Totally out of the blue and melted my heart to see her feeling bad about something I'd forgotten about.
In the last 2 years or so she really has started looking more at her own reactions to situations and always rings me to talk through things and get my opinion on the matter. It's very sweet. Despite her faults (and we all have them) she has been the most loyal, great fun, generous and caring friend I've had over the years.
The other girl I know is a million times worse than Ashleigh in that she actually fabricates entire stories about people to turn others against them. Where I see the similarity though is that this girl bitches about everyone but if anybody does anything back she gathers an audience, turns on the crocodile tears, talks about how good she was to that person and how aren't they horrible for "picking on her" or "leaving her out"
Paints herself as a saint and the other as a mean nasty person whilst accepting no responsibility for her own actions. I've seen her to do it to a few people and am so wary around her.
This girl has caused far more trouble than my mate who is a bit like Helen. This girl has caused friendships and family members to fall out with each other over how she twists stories to make herself look like an innocent picked on soul.
People over here say "If x said it was raining outside, I'd have to go and check for myself" - that's how much people distrust her. As I said though, she is a lot worse than Ashleigh.
Sorry for rambling on for so long. Just wanted to vent and don't expect many to read it. Regarding who wins - well for weeks now I've wanted Christopher to win, a few little things have made me question that recently but overall I think I'd still be happy enough with him winning.
I don't really know about the rest but I will be disappointed if Helen leaves before Ashleigh. Although I know she will and that Ashleigh might even win.
The most hilarious result would be Pav winning so he could put it towards his mansion with the double stairs. He's so cute I think I would laugh if he did win.
Ash,
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